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I just needed you to know, once : Similarites between Jam and our lovelives
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May 14th 2006 edited

I'm a longtime lurker, but a newbie here on the forums. I (probably along with everyone here) was floored by the very real interactions between Jim and Pam in the season two finale. As I read through the episode discussion, so many people said that the conversation Jim had with Pam echoed ones that they had gone through before, so I thought it might be nice if we could all share our stories, for better or worse. I guess I'll start off by saying that I've probably never been in love with anyone, I have admitted to people that I've fallen hard for them, and I got that gut-wrenching feeling when Jim admitted he was in love with Pam. However, it the past few months, I met this girl who is amazing. We click and we joke, much like Jam on the show. However, she is with her boyfriend of two years. They're "practically engaged" (their words, not mine), so yeah, I'm probably grasping at straws, I definitely not in love, but there are feelings there. Still, it's eerie in its similarities. It's like they say, art imitates life, but life imitates TV. What about you guys?

May 14th 2006

Well...I have been with my boyfriend for five and a half years...since the end of high school...just like RAM. But I feel like we have more the JAM thing going. Sometimes he acuses me with being more involved with JAM than our own relationship, but that's not true...always.

May 15th 2006

Spicy Curry My boyfriend and I have been together since highschool as well (6 1/2 years)! He is definately a Jim though, and after working with a boatload of Roys I appreciate him more and more everyday.

Actually, I can kinda relate to what Jim was going through with Pam, spontaneity-wise at least. My boyfriend complained that this was so out of character for JAM, that he thought it was unrealistic but I reminded him about what I did.

I was the one to make a move in our relationship. It was Senior year and I had always kinda thought this kid was cute. We were in all AP classes together but we only really talked a few times.

Every Thursday I be with my friends walking to lunch and I see him with his best friend and wish I could muster the courage to talk to him. Well, one of those Thursdays I saw he was alone and something in my stomach told me it's now or never. I decided within 5 seconds this was the right time, told my friends I'd catch up. Basically, I asked him something about an English assignment, made a joke about our English teacher then asked him if he'd like to see a movie.

It was the craziest thing, went to lunch my heart pounding, none of my friends even believed me at first because I was so shy and it was so out of my character to do something like this. Let me tell you, it was the probably one of the best choices I have every made in my whole life, and it was something so unplanned. That's the way I think it will be for Jim and Pam too.

May 15th 2006

I was dating my "Roy" for 2 years with no promise of a real future. Met my "Jim" at work, we clicked, hung out, had fun. We were hanging out at my apartment and I was supposed to meet my "Roy" at his place. Split second decision, called "Roy", told him I was NEVER coming over, hung up the phone and looked at my "Jim". I got my Jam moment a week later. Engaged 6 months later. Married, happy ending!

May 21st 2006

I figured I could go only so long without responding to this (someone recognized as being an Office messageboard lurker from IMDB, and I've talked some about it there), I have had the unrequited thing way too often at my place of business. Two grocery stores in seven years, to pay off student loans and pay for college when I started back (talk about being a masochist).

Currently, the girl I'm interested in and I aren't talking, based on a series of events which led to me making a rude gesture towards her boyfriend (who is a major-league a-hole, btw. He makes Roy look like Jim by comparison). Not one of my finer moments, and I'm surprised that I'm still alive considering how prone to violence this guy is. However, a buddy informed me recently that she's kept him from coming after me either because she has feelings for me that go beyond whatever anger she has that I dared to insult her a-hole boyfriend, or because she knows he'd go to jail for my eventual murder (because one punch from this guy would pretty much take me out, I'm pretty sure).

But before this, we had a really good flirtatious friendship going, I even told her I had a crush on her on Valentine's Day but out of respect to the relationship she had with this other guy (about whom I didn't know was a jealous possessive a-hole at the time, but soon learned) hadn't made a move. Now I realize I should have made a move, and I'm just waiting for the day when she feels like talking to me again. So...yeah, the finale got to me. Not like I'm one of those "macho" men who can't admit to their feelings sometimes (ask my coworkers when I start talking about my Pam, they'll tell you I admit too much), but normally I don't buy into sitcom-ish romances like that. But Jam are different.

So that's my story...I'm keeping a respectful distance until she feels like talking to me again, but it's not easy.

May 22nd 2006

Aww.

I'm a female Jim.

It used to be the other way around. Now the tables have turned.

May 22nd 2006

I'm a female Jim.

It used to be the other way around. Now the tables have turned.

Wait... you used to be a male? :-P

May 22nd 2006

Sort of.

May 22nd 2006

I don't believe you. Continue ;-p

May 22nd 2006

I've been there. I actually lost a coworker of mine a several years ago to a similar situation. The bad thing is that just like Jim, I was in a no lose situation to where if I had laid it all down like he did and it went unrequitted, I was leaving in short order and it was no big deal.

Dang.

Oh well, things always happen for a reason, right? :)

May 22nd 2006

I used to be Pam. He used to be Jim. He's found himself a girl. Now I'm the Jim. He's the Pam.

Goddamnit, now I kick myself for not admitting my feelings sooner.

May 22nd 2006

I guess I've been a Jim more times than I'd like to admit...something about me screams "cute friend guy" rather than "boyfriend material".

And when you've got a crush on a co-worker, at some point everyone else knows about it (whether things turn out good or not). So that's awkward.

May 22nd 2006

I used to be Pam. He used to be Jim. He's found himself a girl. Now I'm the Jim. He's the Pam.

Goddamnit, now I kick myself for not admitting my feelings sooner.

Yet another argument in favor of how "Casino Night" panned out.

(But I'm sorry about your situation. I feel for you - I really do. Things could still swing your way, so there's still hope. In other words, don't ever, ever give up).

May 22nd 2006

and I'm surprised that I'm still alive considering how prone to violence this guy is.

Not to worry, THP Jim. If he comes after you, we've got your back.

May 22nd 2006 edited

Thanks Loaded Teapot.

May 22nd 2006

Ditto, Teapot, but I don't think I'll need any help. I am a purple-belt, after all...

Yeah, I need all the help I can get ;-p

Nov 18th 2006

I definitely can relate to JAM. Thats why the Office is such a great show isn't it. We all know a Dwight, we all know a Michael. And we definetely all have been a Jim at one time. I have the same situation. Girl from school who I always talk to, we always have fun together. The only difference is this show has made up for my mind for me that I'm going to have to pull a "I'm sorry if this is weird for you to hear this but I'm in love with you." If I didn't we all know how frustrating life would be after that.

Nov 18th 2006

Well good luck to you, Ryan StartedtheFIAH! (Which, by the way, is my favorite Dwight-ism ever.)

Nov 18th 2006

Catherine we must think the same way. When he dances to Billy Joel I can never stop laughing

Nov 18th 2006

I broke up with a guy and regretted it for a long time. We had great chemistry (although we had religion problems and also competed with each other). For the next few years, I'd see him around campus and knew he wasn't with anyone serious, which was my position, too. I eventually approached him with a "do you want to try again?" and he said no. It's probably for the best--now that I'm older I would know how not to feel the need to compete with him, but I would also probably not put up with some of his antics, either! And the religion thing would still be there. Still, it is my life's great melodrama. Something to listen to Chris Isaak over and weep a little. When I'm already hormonal, that is.

Nov 18th 2006

This is really making me sad...

This really shows that the Office is a really relatable show.

Lets all promise each other that we'll all pull a Jim and say something.

Nov 18th 2006 edited

Ha! It doesn't always work out for the best Ryan StartedTheFiAH. Trust me.

Nov 18th 2006

Yeah but Mixed you don't feel like killing yourself if you say something and it doesn't turn out. Life goes on with the thought that "At least I tried..."

Nov 18th 2006

Perhaps. I'm not saying you shoudn't give it a go, just that I did once and now I wish I didn't. Sometimes not knowing can be a good thing.

But I guess you don't know that until after you've tried. Isn't hindsight wonderful?

Nov 18th 2006

Yeah I may be young and naive..probably one of the youngest on this board. I'm in high school, you guys may know more than me. I know I've said this before but isn't it beautiful that we all know how painful being Jim is?

Nov 19th 2006

Lets all promise each other that we'll all pull a Jim and say something.

I just told me dog I loved him. He didn't say it back. I'm really devastated right now. Am I supposed to just walk him like nothing ever happened?

Yeah I may be young and naive...

Maybe, but I'd say that's an asset. Hang onto it as long as you can.

Nov 19th 2006

You forgot, Brian, Jim's strategy included a confession AND a kiss. I'm just sayin'...

(You are so funny, Brian. You must know how Bob Hope felt...)

And just to stay on topic, I don't think I realized how much I could relate to Pam until this episode. That look she gives after seeing Karen touch Jim's back is just crushing. She actually looks a little sick. And I felt all of that right along with her.

She made the wrong choice (choosing Roy over Jim) and this day of the merger was her chance to make it right. She put herself out there and didn't hold back... then she saw the back rub. Instantly she felt like a fool.

The wave of regret must have been enormous. Regret for not taking a risk several months ago and regret for throwing herself at Jim all day. In my own journey (that still continues) to find myself, I have also NOT taken risks I should have taken and TAKEN the risks that I shouldn't have... I understand how lost and disoriented she must feel now. No wonder she was a little snippy in the parking lot.

Nov 19th 2006

Single Tear you are the only one so far that has referred to themself as a Pam. I think we all can agree that it's a lot easier to be a Jim than it is a Pam and a lot more common.

Nov 19th 2006

I could be wrong, but I've always thought most guys who watch this show think of themselves as a Jim wihle most girls consider themselves Pams. I always based that on the idea that their predicaments are so relatable. I agree Pam's situation is probably more common, but I don't know how easy it was to be Jim on Casino Night, on the Booze Cruise, when Pam's mom visited, at the dojo, during the office picture, when the Cumberland Mills job came up, etc.

I have also NOT taken risks I should have taken and TAKEN the risks that I shouldn't have...

ST, better to have loved and lost, they say (of course no one who just lost says that)

Nov 19th 2006

Brian all guys have been a Jim at some time. It's really a fact, everybody has liked someone and had no idea if they felt the same.

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