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Desert Island Game #4: Worst Dates
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Jun 5th 2006

In "The Client," several employees in the break room share stories of worst first dates. It's when we find out that Roy took Pam to a minor league hockey game, brought his brother along...and left her there while she was in the bathroom. I'm guessing that this act of chivalry is what endeared him to her forever and why she has promised to marry him and eventually bear his children.

Anyhoo, even though this wasn't technically a desert island game in the show, let's make it one of our own. Let's open up the floor to worst date you've had, EVER, first date or not. Share the juicy details, please.


Jun 7th 2006 edited

No bad first dates? How about bad relationships? That could fit into this show, too. I've had several long-term (relative term, I know) relationships with men of questionable judgment (OK, let's just call them out - they were all nuts). No bad single dates that I remember, but while I was in college, I went through:

~ the serial philanderer (yes, a philanderer, not a philanthropist) who was so good at lying I think it was bordering on sociopathic
~ the closet homosexual (still not out of the closet, but I am positive that in an alternate universe, he'd be out)
~ the full-blood psycho (stalking, threatening other guys, breaking into my apartment, lying without blinking, etc.)
~ another philanderer (and, surprise, also a great liar...seriously, if nothing else, I have to admire his tenacity about sticking to his "I don't even know who she is" story)
~ the guy who would not speak. At all. Ever. About anything.
~ the Pseudo Intellectual who was secretly still in love with his now-engaged ex-girlfriend

Doesn't reflect well on me, I know, but I was younger...and more foolish, I hope. I've outgrown that and am now, I think, a much better judge of character. Plus, I'm married to a guy who is the antithesis of all of those other guys, so I'm past all of that garbage now.

Who is YOUR Roy?

Jun 8th 2006

It was his birthday. We made plans to watch Madagascar together with a few friends. We told him to meet us 6 o' clock in front of the mall. 6:15, and the movie was about to start. So I figured I should buy his ticket too because time was approaching and soon the tickets won't be available for sale. He never showed up. So basically I paid twice than I should to see that stupid movie. After the movie ended, my friends and I figured we should look for him at the least, he was nowhere to be found. Later that night, he apologized to me and said that he had no ride. Once he found one, it was already 7:30. Apparently, once he was there, he was in the Apple store the entire time (he has MAD obsession with Apple Products). So yeah, worst date ever. Or worst "outing" ever. Whichever makes sense.

Jun 8th 2006

This was back in college....

He emailed me, asked if I would go out with him that night, because they were letting him out of the lab for the evening. (Note: Do not date mad scientists.) I agreed. He said he would pick me up at 5. He meets me in front of my dorm at 5, we start walking, as neither of us had cars. I have no idea where he's taking me, but I'm following along. It's February, it's Michigan. We get about 2 miles from my dorm, and he turns and asks, "So where are we going?" Apparently, he was following me, because clearly, it was my responsibility to plan the date that he'd asked me out on. We eventually made it back to the Union, where we then sat and talked for a while. I was starving. There was food in the next room. But by this point, I had shifted into "fly on the wall" mode, because I do enjoy a good trainwreck (I think this is why I like "The Office") and was not going to make any suggestions. Needless to say, I did not get fed. And it's not that I was necessarily expecting him to buy, but there was clearly no dinner in my future. It was shortly thereafter that I realized that I had to meet some friends on the other side of campus and bailed. Terrible.

Jun 8th 2006

Not really a "bad relationship" but it's a sign that I got out of one right at the perfect moment. hah.

A long term, on again, off again relationship with a girl friend of mine was back on the downswing and I had written it off, only to get a card from her saying "I miss you....blah blah blah"

Part of me was ready to give it one last shot and we started talking again....well.....honest to goodness, 7 days after the "I miss you" card I get an email from her saying "Hey, how are you, blah blah, not much new here...oh yea, I got engaged yesterday"

And now, she invited me to her wedding. Come onnnnnn hahaha.

Jun 9th 2006

Note: Do not date mad scientists.

Ah, how well I have learned that rule. I'm a physicist :). Anyway the worst semi-date that I've ever been on was when I went to dinner on the spur of the moment with this guy that I had met at a Residential Life meeting. He seemed nice enough, and I hadn't eaten so I said ok. Right off the bat, as we're walking across campus, he's telling me how he's super involved in the College Republicans (uh yeah, this is totally not going to work out) and how he likes to deliver pizza as a side job because it gives him a nice way to meet people (????) and he makes really great tips in Scottsdale. We went to Pita Pit, where we each paid for our own meal, he dug through his wallet for about 5 minutes looking for a coupon to save 50 cents. Then he just kinda stared at me the whole time we were eating. Overall, I was completely creeped out by this guy. He definitely had a stalker vibe to him. I decided I had to leave and hightailed it back to my dorm, hoping never to see him again.

A week or so later, I went out to a local concert with a friend. During intermission I noticed I had a new voicemail from an unknown number. It was him. Somehow, he got my phone number. When I got home, he had left a message on my dorm room door with his number to call. I 'accidentally' erased the number, only to come back hours later to find it rewritten!! I finally just told him I had a boyfriend so he would leave me alone, but then he showed up at my jobs several months later to ask why I had lied about having a boyfriend, because he had looked at my Facebook page and seen that I had marked "single." He was a creep and a half. Turns out, he had stalked half the people I knew who lived on campus.

Jul 12th 2007

Okay so my worst date didn't end up happening, but it was definitely the worst almost date.

I used to work at a bank, as the new accounts/customer service rep. It was very formal and I worked with a lot of older ladies who were very scandalized if I wore skirts that showed my knees.

This average looking red-head walks in and asks to open an account. I pull out the brochures and go through my schpeil(sp???? help!) with my best Louisiana-Iced-Tea smile and got him set up with an account. At the end, I said, "So is there anything else I can help you with?" He said, "Yes, actually there is. You could tell me you don't have a boyfriend and that you're available on Friday night."

Now I was quite impressed with his confidence and blatent disrespect for the frown on my boss' face, so I said yes and got his phone number. (I was NOT about to give mine out to a stranger.) I called him that evening with bad news because my shifts were moved around at my second job and I had to work on Friday night. So he asked me about Saturday. I told him I was really sorry, but I had to close on Saturday. He said, "So what. We can go out afterwards. You stay up past midnight right?"

I said, "Are you kidding? What can you do after midnight in College Station, TX?" (Last call was 1 a.m.)

He said, "Well maybe you could come over to my place? I have some really excellent satin sheets I'm dying to try out."

At this point, I burst into laughter because I knew he had to be joking.

After a minute, I figured out he wasn't.

"Oh, well. As tempting as it sounds, I'm afraid I'm going to have to turn down that romantic little offer."

He said, "Come on, you know you were turned on by my self-confidence. Women love a man who knows what he wants."

Me: "As a matter of fact, I don't think we'll be going out on a date at all. Thanks for the interest." and I hung-up.

Jul 12th 2007

Wow. That guy ^ was ballsy. I certainly couldn't have done that. I betcha if he'd have not went for the kill so quickly he'd have had a chance. But then again, I don't think he'd have been able to hide his arrogance much more than five minutes...

I have no bad date stories. Well, no 'good' bad date stories. That's due in part to the fact that I hardly ever dated. Yes, I'm married, somehow. How is it that I'm married, and yet I can't even remember any of the dates I took my wife on? They must have been dull if I can't even remember them. lol.

May 10th 2009

Well thinking back a few years to my only real date ever I went bowling with a girl when I was like 14 or so along with a girl who was younger than me but had asked me to be her boyfriend. My whole family was there including my brother who she spent a lot of the time talking to and some where at some point I dragged her off to the arcade and kissed her. My first kiss(I don't even really remember it) but I do know that she was so much shorter than me that I had to get on my knees to kiss her.

May 10th 2009

I did not know this thread existed...

He was a creep and a half. Turns out, he had stalked half the people I knew who lived on campus.

CZ-J, I know you posted that around 3 years ago, but that fool is crazy.

The worst date I have ever had involved a homecoming dance. I was 16, and there was a girl that I've known and had a crush on since elementary school. We were always good friends, but I never told her how I felt. Then she asked me if I wanted to go to homecoming with her. I was all sorts of excited, and I wanted to make that night perfect for her.

Anyway, on homecoming night, I picked her up, met up with some friends, went to dinner, went to the dance, and so on. We had a really great time. When the dance was over, we were just driving around town and talking...holding hands (I'm a sap that likes affection...), and then I asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend or whatever. She looked really sorry, and told me that her parents really didn't want her to date anyone, because her last boyfriend was a psycho. I understood, and I was cool with least I tried, you know?

But anyway, a few weeks later was her 16th birthday, and I wanted to make it uber special for her. I asked one of her friends to get her to make a list of her favorite songs so that I could make a mix for her. I didn't have highspeed internet back then, so it took like twenty minutes to download one song, and that girl liked some really terrible songs. On top of that mix, I made her another mix of sappy love songs. Then, I got a job at one of my friend's dad's restaurants doing dishes so that I could make some money to buy her necklace.

It's the day of her birthday, and I'm all nervous, and excited and all that jazz. I look around for her at school, and she's not there. I go up to one of her friends, and ask where she was, and her friend says that she's at the DMV.

And then her friend looks down at the big that I'm holding, and she asked, "Whatcha got in there?"

I said, "Oh just Anita's presents...I got her a necklace."

Then her friend looks at me, and she looks all sad, and she says, "Anita has a boyfriend...they just started dating last week."

Sick burn...

May 10th 2009

Ouch dude that sucks.

May 11th 2009

My first kiss(I don't even really remember it) but I do know that she was so much shorter than me that I had to get on my knees to kiss her.

This could be all sorts of wrong. Maybe it's a good thing that you don't remember it.

That's a great story, BMF.

I saw in my post above that I wrote that I didn't have any memorable first dates. I neglected to mention the fact that the first date I took the woman who is now my wife on was a play about incest. Uber-romantic, huh? Well, she married me, so it must have worked.

May 11th 2009

Well thinking back a few years to my only real date ever I went bowling with a girl when I was like 14 or so along offense, dude, but how old are you again?

May 11th 2009

29 I'm very shy

May 11th 2009

On my first date with my future wife, I lost my car in the parking garage. She still teases me about it.

May 11th 2009

29 I'm very shy

I didn't get married until I was 37, and didn't do a lot of dating before that. So don't worry abou tit.

May 24th 2014

I just had the worst second date ever, just one short week after having the best first date ever.

This date was going well enough, and we walked down to the park and hung around for a while and talked, and eventually held hands, awkwardly. I was nervous and apologized for being so awkward. He just kind of laughed and said, "Like I'm so smooth..."

Then, he kissed me - I didn't really kiss him, and pulled away, super awkwardly. Then we came back up the coffee shop, holding hands - "are you good with this?" - I was like, "yeah."

Here's the thing. He's a super nice guy. He's really funny and smart and I really like him. I know he's kind of insecure about his weight. I really don't care about that. I'm really afraid he's going to feel like I'm rejecting him. Because I rejected him, obvs.

It's just that:

I think I need to email him and say something, right? Make a learn-to-kiss date? I mean, what? Do people do that? Would he even believe that I'm 28 and haven't kissed anybody?

Besides that, I kind of wonder how many people who know me were at the park tonight and/or driving around downtown and saw me holding hands with this random guy?

I feel really bad, and I imagine he feels really bad, and I don't want him to feel really bad.

May 24th 2014 edited

Give him a pen. That usually works.


P.S. - Nobody knows what they're doing when it comes to this stuff.

May 24th 2014

That pen idea is a good move, right? They don't put bad ones in movies.

Anyway, I emailed him and he was basically like, "Really? Ok" and then things seemed to turn back to normal.

Nobody knows what they're doing when it comes to this stuff.

I think that's the only possible explanation.

May 24th 2014

Guys are easy. Our instruction manual is like, half a page.

May 25th 2014

Guys are easy. Our instruction manual is like, half a page.

Instruction one: "We like girls! Yay!"

Instruction two: see "Instruction one"

May 25th 2014

I've never had a bad date per se, I've just had some dates that went well but never led to a second date. Perhaps if I'd only bathed...

May 25th 2014

However badly you think it went, he's just hoping he didn't mess it up too badly. See, he's not thinking you don't know what you're doing, and it will never cross his mind to think you're the problem if there was any problem. So you're good. Just don't give him a pen.

May 26th 2014

I think you guys must be right. He invited me over to his house for supper tonight. Feels like maybe for a re-do? Should be Ok, I think.

May 27th 2014

Just leave your mace at home.

May 27th 2014

I think there is nothing wrong with saying "I like you...but may need to go slow." As long as he doesn't get the message that you're not interested, it should be fine.

May 27th 2014

Or order the lobster.

May 28th 2014

He invited me over to his house for supper tonight.


May 28th 2014

And everything is fine. I keep thinking I should, like, dump him. But I'm just being a totally scared idiot. I like hanging out with him. I think he's funny and smart. He's definitely weird, but a good weird. He's really nice and understanding.

I'm just thinking about how hard it is to get time alone to go over to his town, or even invite him over, not to mention that I basically can't invite him to my house, because it also is the house of 3 other people, who want to hang out there on nights and weekends and whatever.

And I'm worried about not being "fun" enough or whatever, 'cause I like to talk and visit rather than go out lots.

But MISS was saying that I'm just scared and need to grow a pair.

Anyway, we have a tentative date for the 20th to go see a band in Charlotte. I think that putting the next big thing off a while will get me out of my head, even if I'll probably see him way before then, and definitely will talk to him.

Monday, he fixed baked fish and broccoli, which I hadn't had before, and 2-year-expired packet mashed potatoes, which I encouraged him to fix, and we watched Game of Thrones, which he kind of apologized for. Yay for new things. :-)

Anyway, I'm pretty sure everything is fine.

May 28th 2014

and need to grow a pair.

Do not take this advice literally. Metaphorically is OK.

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