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Desert Island Game #6: What If...
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Jun 14th 2006 edited

What if Dwight read the Christmas card to Pam from Jim? What would Dwight have done?

Jun 14th 2006

Give Jim a big hug...

What if Michael had somehow managed to keep Jim's secret to himself?

Jun 14th 2006

Michael still would have leaked it, probably on Casino Night. But Pam might not be in the introspective place that she is now.

What if the joint belonged to Angela?

Jun 14th 2006

Angela would be a teensy bit of a hypocrite. But I suppose if I were dating Dwight, I'd probably turn to illegal substances as well.

What if Roy hadn't left early from Casino Night?

Jun 14th 2006

We'd have fairly little to discuss on this board, that's for sure ;-) And I don't want to think about what might not have heppened. She definitely would have gotten married on Saturday. Jim would transfer, the show would be over, blah, blah, blah...Yuck.

What if Oscar comes out of the closet?

Jun 14th 2006

I would hope it wouldn't be that big of a deal (except to maybe Dwight and Michael)

What if Dwight hadn't collided with the pole at the beginning of "The Injury"

Jun 14th 2006

Pam would be paying .99 cents for itunes downloads and she would not have gotten a free Duro Prism protector thingy. Angela would not have gotten that breakroom spanking.

What if Roy had stayed for The Dundies?

Jun 14th 2006

Pam would've stayed sober, Michael would've lost his confidence, ended the show early, Pam wouldn't get her award, and Jim wouldn't have known the feel of Pam's lips. There you have it: Roy gone=Awesome party!

What if Michael had fired Creed?

Jun 15th 2006

Then the rest of the staff wouldn't be able to enjoy the smell of death wafting across the cubicles. And everyone would have had more poker chips during Casino Night.

What if the field trip down the elevator coal mine had become a reality?

Jun 15th 2006

Then the Office crew would have lauded Michael for his awesome Laser Tag skills.

What if Pam read the card first? Like, when she was just sitting at the receptionist's desk. She just....opened the box. And read that first instead of fiddling with the teapot.

Or, what if Jim had reached for the card, and realized it wasn't there? Do you think he would have mentioned it? It could be dangerous. If he mentions it, and she hasn't read it, she's going to want to.

Jul 18th 2007

I guess I'll answer the second one -

I don't think he would have mentioned it. I think he would have crossed his fingers and hoped it got 'lost' in the shuffle.

What if Pam had never done the coal walk and taken the next 'step' for JAM?

Oct 7th 2007

This board's been too dead today. I'm waking up old threads...

If Pam had never done the coal walk, I figure she'd still have been itching to do something bold. The coals were a symbol of the challenge she faced to summon some courage and go after what she wanted. Although, without them she might have made a pass at Kevin instead of telling Jim she missed him.

What if Dwight hadn't been so quick with the pepper spray that day?

Oct 7th 2007 edited

This board's been too dead today.

I've been in a depressed funk because of football. But I will answer this question. Roy would have gotten a swing at Jim. I think Jim would be too startled and confused to defend himself against the first swing, but after that he'd fight back, even though by that point, Kevin, Dwight, Michael and anyone else in the vicinity would probably have pried them apart.

What if Jan hadn't gotten fired? i.e. They were hiring for a new position at corporate?

Oct 7th 2007

Depending on whether it was above or below Jan (TWHS), it might have meant no new Web site, no Ryan being a total ass because no one would have to take his crap and possibly Michael would have gotten the job because he wouldn't have been there to tell Wallace he's unstable, thereby likely costing him any consideration. Pam would still be the office mattress, but no one would question her lead-assignment judgment.

*What if * Karen didn't up and quit?

Oct 7th 2007

Then she would be the one sending out NO PDA memos along with Toby, telling Pam not to give Jim all the clients with Phyllis, and calling Pam the "office mattress" with Angela. All this, because she has no originality in her being whatsoever.

what if Andy and Angela get together?

Oct 7th 2007

Then Andy would become a completely obnoxious evangelizer, making even Angela sorry to have brought him to church in the first place. Because if Andy is going to be Christian, he's going to be the best goddammed Christian ever. And he'd program his cellphone to "Michael Row the Boat Ashore."

What if Ryan really gets Kelly fired?

Oct 7th 2007 edited

Then Kelly will send letters to every female in New York and Pennsylvania telling of Ryan's virginal escapades. She'll then threaten to extort him with some other details that she hasn't shared yet (Maybe his favorite movie is Sound of Music or something.) unless he agrees to let her move in with him. If he refuses, which he inevitably would, she would stalk him. And I do mean stalk in a diaper-wearing cross-country driving kind of way.

What if Toby confessed his love to Pam?

Oct 8th 2007

Pam would let him down easy, and Jim would be a cool guy and pretend he didn't know about it. But then Michael would overhear and ensure Toby's complete and utter public humiliation. Even his ex-wife would be getting e-mails about the embarrassment, and they don't even talk.

What if instead of patiently enduring the situation and turning around and suing the company, Oscar had responded to Michael's kiss by hauling off and punching him?

Oct 8th 2007

Then Oscar would have been fired and left the show. We wouldn't have had the hiliarious fiesta in The Return, or the dual talking head in Fun Run, but otherwise we wouldn't notice his absence.

What if Karen had dumped Jim after his "Yes" in The Return?

Oct 8th 2007

Then things would have made a lot more sense and been less frustrating in Season 3, since that would have been one less obstacle in the way of Jim and Pam.

What if Kelly was really pregnant with Ryan's baby?

Oct 8th 2007

Then things would have made a lot more sense and been less frustrating in Season 3, since that would have been one less obstacle in the way of Jim and Pam.

Word, sister.

If Kelly was really pregnant with Ryan's baby, Usher Jennifer Hudson Kapoor would lead a difficult childhood. Ryan would not let that affect his career aims, however.

What if Todd Packer and Meredith Palmer fell in love?

Oct 8th 2007

Ick. Because that is not an answer, I do not feel obligated to provide another question. But Packer is all-around ick.

Oct 8th 2007

What if Todd Packer and Meredith Palmer fell in love?

Well, for starters they'd have a hard time driving anywhere. I think those two would be a great pair, they have a lot in common it seems...

What if Pam found out Roy and Katy were engaged?

Oct 8th 2007

What if Pam found out Roy and Katy were engaged?

She would be relieved, since it would alleviate any remaining guilt that lingers in her mind regarding her broken engagement to Roy, as it would mean he had moved on. It might even alleviate any lingering doubts she has regarding whether she's pretty enough or smart enough or sophisticated enough in comparison to Jim's past girlfriends (Jim could have chosen to be with Katy at one point, but he's with her now. That kind of thing).

What if, after she dumped Dwight, Angela began dating Roy?

Oct 8th 2007

This is correct:

Well, for starters they'd have a hard time driving anywhere. I think those two would be a great pair, they have a lot in common it seems...

If, after she dumped Dwight, Angela began dating Roy, Roy would finally get his come-uppance. The tight-assed Christian chick would whip him into the kind of shape no man wants to be in. He'd be driving her to church, giving up drinking with Kenny and trying to take over whatever warehouse he's working it by means of a coup.

What if Katy came around selling purses again and saw that Pam and Jim were dating? How exactly would she react? (Looking for drama here, not realism.)

Oct 8th 2007

Katy stumbles upon Pam's apartment selling purses door-to-door, and Jim answers. Katy says, "Hello . . . did you move?"

Jim: "Er . . ."

Pam: "Jim, who is it? I seem to have mislaid all of my clothes and I need you to come help me find them."

Katy eyes Jim. Jim makes a Jim-face, which drives Katy absolutely insane. They fight! Katy claws Jim's face, kicks him in the chest, and walks over his writhing body as she storms into the apartment. Pam comes out of the bedroom, clad in just a towel, to see a Ragy Katy coming toward her. She grabs the fireplace tools, and drops into an athletic crouch, and growls. Katy pulls kitanas out of one of her purses, and does the same. They fight!

For a moment it looks as though Katy's Shaolin Temple Style will defeat Pam's Monkey Style. Pam leaps from the window, her towel still magically attached, and floats gracefully to a balcony on a different building across the alley. Katy follows, but Jim is up now, and he, too dives for the window, and before they reach the balcony, he catches her, wraps her in a sleeper hold, and just as they crash through the window into a stranger's apartment, Katy loses consciousness. Pam storms in, ready for more, but finds her opponent vanquished. She must then bandage Jim's wounds, which of course leads to sex, which you can imagine for yourself.

What if Oscar tried to "cross over" by hitting on Angela?

Oct 8th 2007

Ragy Katy

Does this mean "Rag-e" or "Rage-e" Katy? Both work, Im just wondering, is it that special time of the month or is she just really really mad?

Oct 8th 2007

Rage-y. A play on her name, you see.

Oct 8th 2007

If it were the other, i think it would be spelled "Raggy". Two g's.

Oct 8th 2007

If it were the other, i think it would be spelled "Raggy". Two g's.

Most definitely.

What if Oscar tried to "cross over" by hitting on Angela?

Well, she thought he could cross over, so what about her? She's bossy, dominant, and unrelenting...qualities that are typical of a less-empowered male, or of one that was valid fifty years ago, but is sadly old-school today.

What if Jim becomes a stay-at-home Dad?

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