Pam: I'll bet Ryan thinks to himself 'I wish I were a sheriff's deputy on the weekends'
Dwight: He doesn't even know that I do that.
Pam: You should tell him.
Dwight: Oh yeah, Pam, right. That's going to help things, just talk it out! I hope the war goes on forever and Ryan gets drafted!
Jim: What? (laughs)
Dwight: No, I'm sorry I said that. Just part of me meant it. Besides he'd end up being a hero anyway.

I'm a deer hunter. I go all the time with my dad. One thing about deer - they have very good vision. One thing about me - I am better at hiding than they are, at vision.

I was tailing an ex-girlfriend of mine for weeks because I suspected her of cheating. She was...with a couple of guys, actually. So...case solved.

I would never, ever, never serve you in a million, billion years.

Like a ham?

"I don't believe you...continue."

This one seems to have many practical applications in my real life, so I think of it often. And

"You can't fire me! I don't work in this van!"

Ditto.

Thanks, it was my grandfather's. He was buried in it, so...family heirloom.

You're drinking Grape Soda. Fact: You never drink Grape Soda. You're talking to Jim. Fact: You never talk to Jim.

The liar will perspire.

Dwight's/Rainn's talking heads are unparalleled, IMO. I would kill to see all the improv that is not used.

Some favorites:
Mozart & Butch Cassidy
Lone Ranger/Tonto/Bonto
I am the lion
Paintball lessons (with video clip!)

And no, these are not quotes. Too lazy and hate to quote incorrectly.

Take that, Saddam!

I said "Cocks in the henhouse!" for so long.

"What if you have an aneurysm? Fall down a well? Get hit by a bus? Step on a mine?"

Not really a quote, but when Dwight hits the "Oh Yeah...." button on his keyboard at the Dundies when Stanley reveals that his wife is white....frigging hilarious.

Thanks you! Thank You! Thank You!

I now preface any question I ask someone by saying "Question:..."

I now preface any question I ask someone by saying "Question:..."

You do know that that can be very annoying, yes? ;)

I now preface any question I ask someone by saying "Question:..."

Actually, I do that too. But the funny thing is I did it even before I started watching The Office so...that's odd.
And yeah, it can be annoying. Which is why I only do it sometimes.

I didn’t know this thread existed, so here’s my contribution. Today’s calendar quote was one of my favorite deleted scenes from S1. It makes sense that it comes from one of my top favorite episodes of all time. It always makes me laugh. The way Rainn delivers this line is great:

I’m a salesman. And I don’t think I should be doing this during prime sales hours. If you can prove to me that diversity will help my sales, I’ll go elephant riding with James Earl Jones. I really will. But not on spec.

Yes! That is so damn funny.

For some reason for the past few weeks, I cant get Dwight out of my head. does anyone have any really good Dwight quotes? I would say that the phrase "The Schrutes make thirsty babies" pops into my head approximately 10 times a day. I need more!!!

I know what you mean Erika.

It has to be official and it has to be urine.

In Local Ad, when Michael asks the group if anyone ever tells them they aren't creative, I love the way Dwight automatically answers "Yes" and says it so earnestly.

I also love this exchange from Safety Training:

Michael: I don't know, I don't know. Because you know what our killer is? Depression---
Dwight: Wolves.

It's not a quote, but I like how Dwight shakes his head into the camera after Michael shows his unborn son how to use jumper cables.

"The safety is...on."

In Local Ad, when Michael asks the group if anyone ever tells them they aren't creative, I love the way Dwight automatically answers "Yes" and says it so earnestly.

I remember Michael asking that but I don't remember Dwight doing that. I think I'll have to watch it when I get home.

I also love this exchange from Safety Training:

Michael: I don't know, I don't know. Because you know what our killer is? Depression--- Dwight: Wolves.

From that same scene, I love the way Dwight gets all angry when Michael tells him the warehouse had props:

Dwight: What are we going to doooo? (hits wall)

I love how he gets so angry over something so dumb.

"I know everything about film. I've seen over 240 of them."

So many of Dwight's quotes are made even more awesome from his expressions and delivery.

A couple of quotes from my other favorite episode:

• We must deceive them so as not to hurt them, and in that way, we honor them.

• Code name Remax is here. No sign of Lan Jevinson.

A couple of quotes from my other favorite episode:

Also, when he lists every hotel in Scranton to Jan and then "are you staying with Michael?"

Dwight: Did you get anything good?
Jan: Yeah.
Dwight: New blouse? Halter top? Camisole? Teddy?

"I did, however, tip my urologist, because... I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones."

I love it when the guys are going down to the warehouse in Boys And Girls, and Dwight peers at the camera and says, "Remember on Lost, when they met The Others?"

I just remembered that conference room meeting in Performance Review where Dwight kept echoing whatever suggestion Michael read from the box and then his last comment:

"Don't sleep with your boss"? Do you think this is referring to you boning Jan?

And then this exchange from Valentine's Day:

Dwight: Question. Will you be seeing Jan when you're in New York?
Michael: I probably will, why do you ask?
Dwight: Well... It's Valentine's Day, and you guys, you know...
Michael: Yeah.
Dwight: Screwed.
Michael: What is your problem?

I love both of those.