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It's all about our ability to create poetry: The Acrostic Challenge Game
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Jul 21st 2006 edited

It's Friday, it's slow, and, like small children, we need a new activity to keep us occupied. Let's start a new game! This is the Acrostic Poem game - because nothing says "I have too much time on my hands this summer" quite like creating verse about a tv show. Anyway, an acrostic poem is a poem like the one Dwight created to toot his own horn in "Performance Review."

An acrostic can be a series of adjectives, like Dwight's poem, or it can be actual words and phrases that run into each other. Just as long as you use the "root" (no nod toward Michael, ships, or leadership meant there) phrase down the side of the poem. For example:

Dunder Mifflin

Does it smell like
Up Dog in here?
Dwight is just making soup,
Ergo, it smells

Filing the
Faxes from corporate in a special file that
Looks remarkably like a trash can.
Is it the trash can?
No one is saying. Especially not Pam.

We can throw out challenges to each other, just like for the haiku thread.

Next: Ryan Howard

Jul 21st 2006 edited

Ryan just wanted to "hang out".
Yes, he thought he could just hook up
And then get rid of her.
He's ordering
One beer, and one seven-and-seven
With eight maraschino cherries
And sugar on the
Rim (blended if you can)...
Dude's whipped.

Next: your choice

Jul 22nd 2006 edited


Here to
Indulge in second drink.
Leave your
Inhibitions at the office.
Significant others welcome.

Next: Green

Jul 22nd 2006 edited

Green is a whore-ish color, and
Really shouldn't be used for streamers,
Even for an alchoholic's birthday party.
Now, let's get back to the party-planning.

Next: Basketball

Jul 22nd 2006 edited

Best Team wins

Actually, so long as

Sales doesn't have to come in

Keeping everyone happy

Even the warehouse crew

Tensions are high

Boss is being an ass

And the salesman loves the receptionist

Lunkhead fiancee and his chums

Lord it over cowardly boss

Next: Ham and Cheese

Jul 22nd 2006 edited

Hey man, how can you eat
A ham and cheese sandwhich

Aren't you getting tired of eating the same thing?
Dude, you need a new lunch, let me take you out to

Chili's, better yet
Everyone loves the hot wings...and the boobs.
Even children.
Seriously though,
Eat something different.

Next: Beet Farm

Jul 22nd 2006

Best digs in town

Everything an assitant to the regional manager could want

Eespecially now, with the indoor plumbing

Teenagers use it for sex, though

Free room and board

All the Beets you could eat

Renting with Michael not a good thing

Might figure out what's going on with me and Angela

Next: This Is Pam

Jul 23rd 2006 edited

There's this receptionist, Pam. And she is
Hiding her feelings for Jim, while she
Is engaged to Roy.
So, on Casino Night, they flirt.
"I love you," says Jim.
She calls her mom.
Pam says: "I think I
Am." Jim enters and kisses her. She kisses him back.
May they live happily ever after.

Next: Teapot

Jul 23rd 2006

Trinkets of past events

Even a hot sauce packet or two

All little ways to

Put your relationship in perspective

Only friends, or is Christmas the

Time to tell someone how you really feel?


Jul 23rd 2006

Why does everybody ask me that?
Love to know the answer.
Help Todd Packer
Uncover who the hell that is.
Not William Hung but I
Get it.

Next: Frodo

Jul 23rd 2006

Finish the quote

Regional manager might mock you

Own up to your nerdiness

Don't be ashamed

One day you'll own this town with your spud gun

Next: Dundie

Jul 23rd 2006 edited

Don't hide your feelings
Under a mask of sarcasm, I tell myself.
Nevertheless, it's hard to not be
Discouraged. She is engaged to another guy. But
I'm in love with her, and
Everything has changed now that she kissed me.

Next: Birthday

Jul 23rd 2006

Just wanted to mention that I love your Ryan Howard poem, Nathan. The "Dude's whipped" part really makes the whole thing, but I love all of it. Well done.

Jul 24th 2006 edited

Bird-day card:
Impress the
Recipient with
Dump on the honoree
And they'll think
You're awesome.

*Now: Transfer

Jul 24th 2006

Time to leave Scranton?
Roy and Pam's wedding is
Approaching, and Pam said,
"No, Jim, I can't."
Stamford, here I come?
From now on, things will be different.
Either I must run, or I watch her get married. And I
Really can't handle losing her forever.

Next: Karaoke

Jul 25th 2006 edited

Karaoke machine, lots of beer,
And no Michael. There will be a
Rocking party
At Jim's house.
Oh no, look who's here. Jim should have
Known he couldn't keep him out.
Everybody knows the words, but only Jim sings along.

Next: Hot Girl

Jul 26th 2006 edited

Thanks, LT.

His nemesis would be all
Over that (except he's already dating). She's not really his
Type (and, no, he's not
Gay). But
Irony rules the day.
Reeling from tubs and tickle fights, our hero
Lets himself explore other options.

Next: Spamster

Jul 26th 2006


She hates her boss with a burning, white-hot
Passion. What are these nicknames
All about, anyway?
Must she just sit and
Smile through the agony that is her job?
This is not what she wanted for her life.
Every girl wants a house with a terrace. No one wants to be a

Next: The Kiss

Jul 26th 2006 edited

The Kiss

Hurt by her reaction,
Even though another rejection would
Kill me,
I couldn't leave it at that.
So I kissed her.
So I kissed her.

Next: The Kiss (again) or Engagement

Jul 26th 2006 edited

The hero got the girl?
Ha, ha. Very funny, writers. But the
Episode wasn't over.

Knocked down once, but you know your
Interpretation is right.
See her pretty face, over by your desk?
Suck on that, Halpert.

Next: We'll carry through The Kiss and Engagement, and add Nickels to the mix.

Jul 26th 2006

Suck on that, Halpert.

HaHa! A very original interpretation of TheKiss.

Jul 27th 2006

Evidently, the wedding is
Taking place.

Next: Footbath (Kevin's, of course, from Christmas. I love that thing).

Jul 27th 2006

"Finally, it's time for
Our Annual Christmas Party.
Oh man, I got an oven mitt?
That iPod that I got Ryan is worth 400
At least Kevin is happy with the gift
That he bought himself.
"Hey, maybe I should have tried for the iPod."

Next: Um, Nickels still hasn't been done. Any volunteers?

Jul 27th 2006

Nothing to that one, really.
I just found
Change - nickels, mostly - and
Kept adding it to the handset and
Eventually I took it all out. I
Laughed when he
Slammed himself in the face with the phone.

*Next: Post Its (Pam gets "fired" for stealing them in the pilot)

Jul 27th 2006

Secret is
That she

IS a
Thief of

Now: Corolla

Jul 27th 2006 edited

Ok, Katy? Because this is a
Really nice car."
(Only I
Long to
Leisurely ride
A round with Pam.)

Next: Stanley

Jul 30th 2006 edited

Such a

Ticking time bomb

Any day

Now he's going to

Lose it, just look at how he


You stay away from my child!

Next: Dinkin Flicka, please!

May 18th 2007

For Karen.

Be gone, you
Insensitive obstacle.
To corporate in New York
City you shall go, while we
Have a jam sandwich.

May 18th 2007 edited

Beautiful women
Often think the
Only way they can land a man is with
Beguiling charm and unequaled

May 19th 2007

When life
Hands you lemons,
Ask not how
To make lemonade or
Wait patiently for peaches.
Ask for that beer you ordered.
Send a text message.
Take an art class.
Hell doesn't always announce itself with sheets of fire.
Every minute that slips by unregarded
Undermines the future.
Explore your inner bitch.
Stand up to your coworkers.
Traipse on coals.
If you do these things, you may discover that
Obstacles to happiness fade into

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