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Which Office employee are you most like?
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Jul 23rd 2006

Sorry, I couldn't come up with a good quote for this one.

Okay, this is a thread to discuss which Office employee do you share characteristics of?

I'd personally say that I'm a mix between Kevin, and Jim. I am tall and pleasantly plump like Kevin. I also make jokes with sexual innuendo, and laugh everytime someone says 69. I'm like Jim in the way that I am a very sweet and caring guy, who up until "Casino Night" doesn't get the girl. I can also be very funny in messing with certain people as well.

Jul 23rd 2006

I drive a minivan like Meredith (same color, even, but with no liquor under the back seat...unless my 3-year-old put some gin there, I guess), I look like Pam, I'm sarcastic like Jim, I am (at times) rigidly organized like Angela, and I emjoy a good footbath like Kevin...I'm an amalgamation (I cop to looking up the spelling of that word before I typed it). I hope I have no Michael or Dwight in me, but who knows? I do enjoy watching my bobblehead, like Dwight, and we've all, at some point, done things that are mean and unthoughtful, like Michael, so I bet I even have parts of these two in me (that's what she said - I HAD to!).

Jul 23rd 2006

I've felt the same things Jim has so many times during my high school years that any other answer would be a lie.

May 31st 2007

And at 10 months and eight days, the Dundie for the Most Delayed TWSS goes to me for...

I hope I have no Michael or Dwight in me, but who knows?

That's what Creed said. There'd be no way of knowing.

May 31st 2007

Sorry, I couldn't come up with a good quote for this one.

I propose "And Dwight is Kramer".

I think I'm most like the pre-gay Oscar. Hard-working and competent, gets along well with others, happy to let other people get all the attention, but not above making snide comments when they act like idiots ("That fraction makes no sense"), and crappy at dating (see Oscar's "worst date").

May 31st 2007

I'm definitely most like Jim. I don't get too bothered by the things around me, but it's not like I don't care about anything. I feel like that's a boring answer since he is, after all, the everyman. Although, I guess the fact that I'm a woman is the twist. Ha-ha.

May 31st 2007

I propose, ". . . and I am like Motzart's friend."

Anyway, I wanted to bump this thread oh so many moons ago, but I didn't because I didn't have any kind of wacky response. The obvious answers are Jim, Ryan, and Pam, right? Those are the least cartoony characters.

But I've put some more thought into it, and I'm most like . . . wait for it . . . Stanley, with a side-dish of Creed. I have a low tolerance for idiots, am easily bored by what I perceive to be beneath me or un-challenging, and I like crosswords. Also, however, I did have my wild days, what with the drugs and whatnot, but I've settled down into a life of almost-normalcy, punctuated by a tendency to say off-the-wall things (though I'm a little more self-aware about it).

May 31st 2007

If we are going there, then I am like Phyllis: perfectly capable, more interested in my personal life, a sucker for office gossip, and willing to blatantly screw around at my desk.

Jun 1st 2007

I like crosswords.

I like crosswords too. I used to take them with me everywhere (like Stanley) and never missed a day. I don't do them as often now. If you like crosswords, you probably like Scrabble too.

Jun 1st 2007

I'm terrible at Scrabble. People are always shocked by how bad I am at Scrabble.

Jun 2nd 2007

Really? I guess I'm shocked too. I would never have thought, because you're so good at spelling. Or is it that you just have a good spellchecker?

Jun 2nd 2007

I think it's more that Scrabble engages a different part of the brain than spelling, grammar, or even vocab, really. It's pattern-recognition, almost a visual and mathematical algorithm, and I don't have that. I'm good at vocab, but not so good at the other part. And the way language works for me is . . . well, it doesn't work in a vacuum. One word causes another. That doesn't work in Scrabble.

If you want to meet a good speller, you oughta talk to my youngest brother. He was Portland-Vancouver city champion in fourth and fifth grades.

Jun 2nd 2007 edited

DFTF, I still think I'm connected with your family somehow. In 5th grade I ranked 100 percentile in some nationwide spelling thing. My name was in the paper and everything. Spelling just came to me naturally. Not so much anymore. I'm pretty good at Scrabble. Just two weeks ago I beat someone that is known to be unbeatable, by over 200 points.

The biggest spelling and punctuation problem I have now is this darn wireless keyboard. I'm about to toss it out the window. It skips letters, the shift key doesn't work half the time, and I get a lot of double letters. You wouldn't believe how long it's taking me just to type this post because it's full of errors and I don''t have my glasses on. I've resynced the keyboard to my computer several times. I'm going to beg HP to send me another one. Either way this thing's going out the window!

Jun 2nd 2007

I love my keyboard so much. It's like five years old, the E sticks sometimes, and it's totally disgusting -- I know no woman who will consent to type on it -- but it has big keys and makes a lot of noise when I type, and that's why I like it. It helps me build up a rhythm.

When I have spelling or grammar problems, it's almost always because I'm over-thinking something and convincing myself that my own twisted logic is the correct method of doing things. That, or I'm mixing up Canadianisms and Britishisms that I picked up from in-laws or books with standard American syntax. One tic I have (which drives my dad absolutely apeshit) is that I use "different to" instead of "different from". I don't even know where it came from.

Jun 2nd 2007

and I don''t have my glasses on

That's weird. You don't wear glasses in my head when I read your posts.

Jun 2nd 2007 edited

I've only been wearing them for a few years. I didn't think I needed to wear glasses. I went to the eye Doctor and I swear I thought he was tricking me and putting fake lenses to blur things and fake lenses to make things clearer so that he could sell me some glasses. Then when I got the glasses and I put them on, the whole world looked so much better all of a sudden. It was so weird. Anyway, I don't have to wear them all of the time, but I do because things just look better with them on.

Jun 2nd 2007

I look better with glasses than without, but I so much prefer to wear contact lenses. For once, convenience trumps vanity. My big surprise at the last optometrist visit was that my eyes had gotten better. By a lot. He confirmed what I always thought was a lie my father told me--reading and dim light do hurt your eyes. But my dad didn't know they could get better. It's really just a step down the path to me eventually needing reading glasses but I get to enjoy improving vision along the way.

So I guess this makes me more like Andy a little, in the sense that the waitresses he meets during his nights out probably also look better along the way, too.

Jun 22nd 2007

Most like Pam, completely. I'm the girl in the back of the room that nobody notices, the one who talks too quiet, who lets opportune moments pass her by. I just hope someday I'll have a BEACH DAY moment of my own.

And aside from all that serious stuff I love pranks. My sister is about as easy to pull something over on as Dwight and it's hilarious. Also, Pam's and artist; I'm a writer.

Jun 23rd 2007

who lets opportune moments pass her by.

I must be a male Pam.

Jan 8th 2011

This is an open thread mixed in with a bunch of closed ones. I've got a little time to tell you all about something awful that happened yesterday, and a few years ago, so I thought I'd just leave it here. Why not, you know? It'll probably be kinda long. That's what she said.

So, my mom's got a job in the next town and knows a ton of people there. She works the early morning shift at a fast-food restaurant and is going to be starting as a manager in a couple of weeks.

Yesterday, I got a phone call from this girl that works with her, saying Mom's wanting to set me up with this guy, who's "weird." That's all she said, really, without any additional information. Just "weird" and to tell her not to set us up when she calls me. And that she already told Mom not to do anything, so I should also try to stop her. Ok.

I tell Dad about the call. And that we should stop Mom. Ok.

About 20 minutes later, Mom calls and talks to Dad. He tells her not to do anything. She's laughing on the phone, and talking in her lie voice. You know, where a person's voice goes up as they're talking to you. So. Whatever. I'm mad all day. I know she said something or said something she shouldn't have. But there's nothing I can do about it.

She finally shows up. I tell her I'm mad at her. She asks why. I say, "Why do you think?" She says, "Because I gave that guy your number?" I go off on her. She laughs. I ask her why he's weird. She says, "What? He's nice." I ask her all day what's weird. She never said. "He's tall." "He's 30."

She tells us a story at supper. "He was late this morning. He had to stop and change his tire. He knows how to change a tire!" Dad says, "Oh, he's thirty and can change a tire." My brother says, "I learned how to do that when I was 12."

Two or three times, she says she told him she has a 25-year-old daughter and he "perked up." God, Mom. Quit saying that.

Overall, I'm not too concerned. So some dude in the next town has my number. Big whoop. Mom likes him. She must not think he's a murderer. And he likes her. So what?

Here's the reason I was so mad when she called yesterday morning:

A couple/few years ago, she set up a blind date with this guy and two of his friends. AND DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT IT. Until, like, 2 or 3 days before the date. And she knew a lot of stuff about him, but didn't share it with me. AT ALL.

So, here's what happened.

We were going to go eat and see a movie off the mountain, so there was about a 30 or 45 minute ride to the theater. I'm naturally not very outgoing. But I tried. And I was sociable for a while, but the guy was way too quiet. He only talked a few times, and only to his friends. But whatever. Here's the bad part.

We were in the car and the other girl asked me, "We were talking about this before. Are Batman and Robin gay?" Now, I like Batman and don't really think they're gay. He's just a hot, single millionaire that lives with a single young man and a single old dude.

But I wanted to seem flirty and fun, so I played along and made a joke. Then they told me that the guy really liked Batman, and I was like, "Oh, ok, yeah. Batman." Then she asked me about my dad's comic collection. I clarified that while Dad and his brothers bought a lot of comics in the '70s, he isn't really into them now or anything, he just has their collection stored at our house. Then they told me that he goes to this comics store about 90 minutes away every week to get the newest comics or graphic novels or whatever.

And Mom knew this, and totally didn't fill me in AT ALL. That's why I was so worked up yesterday. Watch this guy only have one leg or something. Or he shaves half his head. Or only takes weekly baths. Or something.

I just have a really bad feeling about this.

Jan 8th 2011

That's super long. Totally called it.

Jan 8th 2011

he "perked up."

How could she tell?

Jan 8th 2011

God. I don't wanna know.

Jan 8th 2011

I didn't want to bum everybody out. I thought it was just some screwed-up crap that I had time to type out and could share.

Jan 8th 2011

Or is everybody just, uh, gardening?

Jan 8th 2011

Well, getting setup with blind dates by your parents is usually bad idea jeans, but a really good friend of mine from high school finally gave in and went out with some guy her mom worked with, and they've been married for 5 years now. You never know.

Jan 8th 2011

I think you should go out with this guy. But blind dates are bullshit, and I wouldn't have gone on that one, especially because his friends were there. But this could be different.

Jan 8th 2011

getting setup with blind dates by your parents is usually bad idea jeans

The one time it happened (or ever will) happen sure was.

I think you should go out with this guy.

I kinda think so, too. I'm kind of wanting him to call, but I'm also afraid that since I jumped all over Mom, she said something to him about not... I think I should have not freaked out and just played it cool. I'm going to from now on.

Jan 8th 2011

Hold on, just to clarify. The horrible thing about the first guy was that he drove 90 minutes every week to buy comics?

Jan 8th 2011

No. Who cares what his hobbies are? It was just a generally bad situation.

I put my foot in my mouth and generally looked like an idiot, which could have been avoided if my mom had shared any info with me. And after I looked like a jerk (to him) that hated his hobby, it was like he didn't even try to be sociable anymore, you know?

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