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It's no Armageddon, but...Movies We've Seen
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Jun 27th 2013

Mr. A and you could bump some fists.

She always parks without straightening the wheels, and then when I (or she) tries to back out, you end up swerving into the next car. I usually laugh about it and tell her "try to remember to straighten the wheels." But I never say a word while she's driving. When she's driving, she's the boss of the car.

When she's in one of her moods, and I'm driving, and she needs to control something but knows she's already annoyed me by telling me how fast or how slow to go, she'll get anxious and start fiddling with the air or the radio or the mirrors...she needs to control SOMETHING. It's pretty funny.

Jun 27th 2013

If I had been at that lunch with you Anque, and I didn't understand why you didn't want to tip, I'd have asked you about it, and just tipped anyway, if I didn't agree with you. But I wouldn't have avoided you after that, or ostracized you based on that one experience.

Aw, VG, you're so awesome. This is all I wanted. I don't think everyone should agree with me, but it sure feels shitty to be ostracized.

Jun 27th 2013

How can they not see the wisdom of this parking spot over that parking spot? They must be idiots, and I need to tell them.

I've been married for 19 years, and have yet to park in the correct spot. Or be in the correct lane of the highway. Or choose the correct route to any destination. I usually just laugh. Because I know it'll drive her insane.

Jun 27th 2013

When she's driving, she's the boss of the car.

Ah ha ha ha. I think I might have said this exact thing to Mr. A last week.

You're right, of course. I don't always phrase things the best way. But I really do try to make suggestions with as little anger and irritation as possible. Mr. A gets the brunt of it because he knows me really well and the things he does that irritate me, he does a lot. Unfortunately, that means my suggestions to him don't always come out so nice. Man, I'm glad he loves me. But I know it's the same for him, (he gets irritated with me about certain things too...do NOT ask him about my ability to find things when they are missing. He'll blow a gasket) so it's all good.

Jun 27th 2013

And I really go out of my way when I'm showing someone something to make sure they understand that I'm not condescending or above them.

I'm a pretty smart guy. After all, I went to Cornell. I know certain things that are facts, and lots of times I'll be talking to someone who says something that is just not true. I'm always cognizant of correcting them while not coming off as a "know it all". For instance:

Guy says: "The feds introduced wolves to Yellowstone, and now they regret it because the wolves are killing all the endangered species like the buffalo!"

I say: "A lot of people were worried about that...and I think most people still worry about that. But having large predators actually helps the health of the herd. That's why you find the biggest, strongest deer in places like Minnesota or Canada, which also has wolves."

You see how I temper the statement by saying "a lot of people were worried about that...", as if to tell them "I understand how you feel that way".

And...now I'm treating you like an idiot. :-)

Jun 27th 2013

I usually just laugh. Because I know it'll drive her insane.

This made me laugh. I do this to Mr. A, sometimes. Instead of getting all upset about something, I laugh. It drives him crazy.

Jun 27th 2013

it sure feels shitty to be ostracized

Yeah, "ostracized" is a little bit much. I might not go to lunch with you after that first time. But if you made an effort to get to know me, I'd forget about it real fast. I'd always give people a chance.

I've been married for 19 years, and have yet to park in the correct spot.

That's awesome, STT. I tell myself that every husband probably deals with this same issue, some more, some less.

Jun 27th 2013 edited

It frustrates her to no end. I can't just ignore her, because then she'll be like "You don't like being told what to do."

I'd probably just say, "Nope," and walk away. If pursued, I usually go with, "If I wanted any more shit from you, I'd squeeze your head."*

Which is why people don't marry people who are too much like themselves.

*Something I actually said to my uncle one time.

Jun 27th 2013

Instead of getting all upset about something, I laugh. It drives him crazy.

See, I don't want to prove her wrong, I don't want to drive her crazy. I just want to know how to react that won't make things worse. I usually get all passive aggressive and slow down at each turn in the parking lot and say "do you want me to go this way or that way?"

Jun 27th 2013

And...now I'm treating you like an idiot. :-)

You are not. At least, if you intend it that way, I'm not taking it that way so suck it.

And I'm totally not good at couching my statements in nice cushions like that. I have been learning though...it's probably one of the big things I've been working on in my 30s. I took a Communications class last semester that was really great for this kind of thing.

But it takes a LIFETIME to develop and hone those kind of skills. I'm really glad that there are people like you who caught on a long time ago and have been working on it for a while. (One of my best friends is absolutely fantastic at it.) I suck at it. But, thankfully, that doesn't mean I'm a horrible person.

Jun 27th 2013

I tell myself that every husband probably deals with this same issue, some more, some less.

I can't imagine caring where the driver parks. Unless, it's like a mile away.

I always just call out "Hey, there's one." if I see a good spot. Surely your wives are saying more than that.

If pursued, I usually go with, "If I wanted any more shit from you, I'd squeeze your head."

That's awesome.

Jun 27th 2013

You know what? I had a nice car once, and the doors kept getting dinged real bad because I kept parking too close to other people Now I kind of have a phobia about it...can you just humor me and park in a really open space? As opposed to: Do you not care about your car? You're going to get a big dent and we can't afford to get it fixed now. My dad didn't have money either and he always took care of his car, you just have to pay attention to where you park. If I wasn't here you'd probably try to squeeze into that space.

You're right, the first way would be a much better way to put it. I can see where the latter would get on your nerves.

My husband only tries to tell me where to park and how to drive when we travel routes that he travels to work. His rationale is that he knows which lanes to be in and where the potholes are. I understand that to a point, but if he starts getting anal about it, I'll just do the opposite of what he says for a few minutes and he finally gets it and shuts up.

Anque, the real problem is that people really are stupid and you probably do have a better way.

Jun 27th 2013

My wife has made enemies with the local girl scout troop and council.

Well, who hasn't made enemies with that bunch of rat bastards? They're worse than librarians.

Jun 27th 2013

I usually get all passive aggressive and slow down at each turn in the parking lot and say "do you want me to go this way or that way?"

See, that would make me angry.

I don't laugh deliberately to make him crazy. My laughter is always because it's preposterous to be getting worked up over stuff you can't control. Mr. A gets really really upset about things that have nothing to do with anything. Shit happens. But he just gets really upset about it. And when I don't get upset (or even find it amusing) it's like it's personally insulting to him.

If pursued, I usually go with, "If I wanted any more shit from you, I'd squeeze your head."

Nice. I'd probably glare at you and then laugh. Mr. A is most successful with me when he takes this approach. What I hate is when he's all, "Fine. Clearly nothing I say is going to be the right thing so I'm just not going to talk anymore." What? When have I said you're not saying the right thing?! I just don't agree with you! Can't we have a friendly disagreement without you feeling oppressed? For the love of Peter!

Jun 27th 2013

Man, I had to wade through a lot of crap to post my hilarious joke.

Jun 27th 2013

For the love of Peter!

I've done a lot for that.

Jun 27th 2013

Anque, the real problem is that people really are stupid and you probably do have a better way.

Clearly. TTP gets me.

Jun 27th 2013

Well, who hasn't made enemies with that bunch of rat bastards? They're worse than librarians.

Nice.

Jun 27th 2013

Man, I had to wade through a lot of crap to post my hilarious joke.

You Braveheart.

Jun 27th 2013

My laughter is always because it's preposterous to be getting worked up over stuff you can't control.

Or stuff that isn't worth getting worked up over. "Really? You're mad because it's gonna take us 12 more steps to get to the store?"

Jun 27th 2013

Aw, gb loves you, AMJ. It was funny. I laughed. I was just busy typing a bunch of other crap about how awesome I am. Isn't that the name of this thread? The Billion Reasons Why Anque is Awesome?

Jun 27th 2013

I thought the name of this thread was The Billion Reasons Why Roadhouse Is Awesome.

Jun 27th 2013

I feel like I just re-read the entire forum.

Eff that waitress and that lady, Anque. You were not wrong. I'd have lunch with you any day.

Jun 27th 2013

:) Don't make promises. I might hold you to that someday.

I feel like I just re-read the entire forum.

Which is way better than the opposite problem, amiright?

Jun 27th 2013

I've got so much to re-read later.

Jun 27th 2013

I almost always tip at least 20 percent. I don't even think about it. The rare exception is when a waiter/waitress pisses me off. You don't have to be perfect. I know it gets busy, that managers don't schedule enough staff, that the kitchen effs things up that you have to serve and all sorts of things are out of your control. Don't be rude to me, and acknowledge when things are going wrong that I shouldn't have to expect as a paying customer. Personally, I hate that there is such a thing as tipping in restaurants. It's like we as a society idiotically decided these jobs shouldn't be compensated by employers but instead by the paying public. We're at risk of sneeze-muffins and loogie-tacos. We complain at our own risk. And now we have the guilt of all the oppressed waiters going back to Henry VIII's food taster on our backs if we should decide being treated shittily doesn't warrant an extra 20 percent on top of an already inflated food bill. Pay your employees. Fire them if they don't do the job well. Give me what I pay for. It's crazyland to do it any other way.

It's one more reason to love Taco Bell. They get it.

Jun 27th 2013

It's one more reason to love Taco Bell. They get it.

Yeah, because a loogie could slip in, and there'd be no way of knowing.

Jun 27th 2013

Pay your employees. Fire them if they don't do the job well. Give me what I pay for. It's crazyland to do it any other way.

This. I totally agree. What other customer service based job relies on the customers to provide their wages? If Verizon or Time Warner Cable did that, no one would get paid.

Jun 27th 2013

Can't we have a friendly disagreement without you feeling oppressed?

No, because I'm right and you're stupid.

(You can see why none of my relationships never last.)

Jun 27th 2013

Personally, I hate that there is such a thing as tipping in restaurants. It's like we as a society idiotically decided these jobs shouldn't be compensated by employers but instead by the paying public.

Interesting thoughts Mr. Pink.

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