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Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
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Oct 4th 2006 edited

Decide who will win each fight!

Toby vs. Ryan (suggested by someone from imdb)

Toby vs. Michael

Michael vs. Josh

Jan vs. Pam

Pam vs. Angela

Phyliss vs. Angela ("I don't like you!")

Kelly vs. Pam

Pam vs. girl from Stamford

Andy vs. Big Tuna

Dwight vs. Andy

Ryan vs. Jim

Toby vs. Jim

Todd Packer vs. Toby or Ryan or Kevin

Oct 4th 2006

Pam vs Angela? Angela, definately. And I can think of a few guys who wouldn't mind watching it either.

Oct 4th 2006

Jan would beat Pam, easily.

Dwight would beat Andy--he's a farm boy AND martial artist, remember. (A capella singers aren't generally known for their toughness.)

Is theorizing about Roy v. Jim too close to our hearts?

Oct 4th 2006

Frankly, I can't see Pam winning a whole lot of fights, unless it's against Karen from Stamford. The fight naturally takes place once Jim starts paying attention to Karen and Pam can't handle it anymore. Preferably, the fight takes place in Dwight's dojo.

Mar 5th 2008 edited

I'm adopting this thread. Decide who would win each fight, what form each fight would take, and why for both:

Mana Y Mano - garbagethrower vs. ferd farkle

The New Yorker(s) - jinx vs. brian

The Out-Of-Towners - Daoust vs. Mixed Berries

Boobs - Single Tear vs. BigTunaFishing

Also, if you have any other good ideas for fights, feel free to list away.

Mar 5th 2008

Let me at that no good Aussie bastard! I'll tear 'im limb from limb. I envision it would be an old fashioned battle, 2 rounds. One on top of Ayers Rock, the other atop the CN Tower. No holds barred. Aussie rules.

Mar 5th 2008

The tale of the tape says I am probably a foot taller and 50 pounds heavier than Brian. However, he can write circles around me, which is the only kind of fight we'll ever have. Also, he's from the city. So...winner: Brian.

Mar 5th 2008

Cool, winner by default. Didn't even have to get punched.

Mar 5th 2008

Aw, it's no fun when you settle peaceably. Surely you could have put up some kind of fight, Jinx.

Mar 5th 2008

Mets suck!

Mar 5th 2008

Statements of fact can start fights? Weird.

Mar 5th 2008 edited

Interesting matchups, Anque. I would suggest DftF and KarenM in a vocabulary cage match. Unlike BTF, the future Jeopardy champ, I am all-too-often googling their words and phrases.

As for me and farkel:

Mud wrestling: ok I am a tall drink o water and spunky but unless I mesmerized him by my amazing femaleness (see there, Daoust?) there's no way I'd take him. Match: ferd.

Office Haiku: yeah right. I'll admit to a moment or two of inspiration here and there but seriously. Match: ferd.

Graphic design: this is the only area where things might end in a draw. ba-dum-pum. But seriously there too; I'm good, but from what I've seen he might be better.

This is becoming depressing, Anque. Thanks a lot for bringing it up.

Mar 5th 2008

Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention, Russel Crowe sucks, and Nicole Kidman sucks, and Silverchair sucks and that country singer sucks, and what the hell, I never really liked any movies Heath Ledger was in either. Furthermore, rugby is a game for sissies. And you guys got smoked in Gallipoli. Oh yeah, and Steve Irwin was kinda cool, but he named his daughter Bindi, so he's a gaytard too.

Mar 5th 2008

Mets (are really the only perfect entity in my universe, and on another note, the Braves really) suck!

Statements of fact can start fights? Weird. Spot on about the Braves, though.

Mar 5th 2008

For a perfect entity, they sure are going down with injuries pretty quick. And don't try your tricks with me, young man! I'm on to your game.

Mar 5th 2008

Daoust, man. Chill out. MB's probably still sleeping and you're beating him to death with a baseball bat.

Is he even still alive?

Mar 5th 2008

Mud wrestling: ok I am a tall drink o water and spunky but unless I mesmerized him by my amazing femaleness (see there, Daoust?) there's no way I'd take him. Match: ferd.

I'd have to disagree with you here. ferd seems like that extremely gentlemanly type. The kind that can make it seem like you won fairly when indeed he was already taken by your amazing femaleness beforehand and so decided to throw the match. Am I right, mr. farkel? And while your pride might smart from a win like that, I'm sure it would be fun all the same.

I am...saying a lot of things.

Mar 5th 2008

I would suggest DftF and KarenM in a vocabulary cage match.

Also, I love this idea.

Mar 5th 2008

I think I lose in vocab cage match.

I will take all comers in a snottiness battle royale, and also think I would probably win in a contest of treating other people like they're stupid.

Mar 5th 2008

No, you wouldn't, dumbass.

Mar 5th 2008

I was just about to post the same thing. About losing, that is, and a snottiness battle. But I was going to use a different word.

Mar 5th 2008

No, you wouldn't, dumbass.

Once more, you have failed to grasp the nuances of my point.

Mar 5th 2008 edited

Good comeback, Kowalski.

Mar 5th 2008

Good comeback, Kowalski.

What a steaming pile of horseshit.

Mar 5th 2008

and also think I would probably win in a contest of treating other people like they're stupid.

Amateur.

Mar 5th 2008

Amateur.

Dope.

Mar 5th 2008

Boobs - Single Tear vs. BigTunaFishing

I don't wanna fight with ST. She just had a baby and it seems mean to fight a new mother with sensitive, lactating boobs.

Mar 5th 2008

Amateur.

Dope.

Ahh...the classics. They never grow old, do they?

Mar 5th 2008 edited

I don't wanna fight with ST. She just had a baby and it seems mean to fight a new mother with sensitive, lactating boobs.

True. You would have an advantage. Although, depending on the time of day, hers would be hard as rocks so it could go either way.

Mar 5th 2008

Ahh...the classics. They never grow old, do they?

Begging for another "young punk calls the middle-aged guy old" joke, are we?

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