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To start us off..
A well-timed fax from your future self can save your life or that of a co-worker.
edit: great thread idea
Although Michael Moore is an amazing documentary...er, Bowling For Columbine was not a bowling movie like Kingpin. It was something different.
Always call before you drive two hours to go on a date with a guy you're not even sure you like that much.
Is it me or does this whole thread seem vaguely familiar, like it might already exist?
Oh well, whatever...
Like the song by 80s hair-metal band Cinderella says, you don't know what you got 'til it's gone.
I remember this being a topic at GMMR a while back and somewhere else, Brian, but I don't know if it was here. Either way, still fun!
Sometimes, when I get really frustrated about something, it helps to just throw handfuls of napkins around the room and scream a bit. Takes the edge right off.
I apologize if this thread is repetitive. I looked through all of the threads and didn't see one on this website. Although, I'm a "newby" to other office websites, so there maybe something somewhere else.
You can cure sinus infections by brewing green tea stems and pouring the tea directly into your sinuses, like so....
(Tips teapot in nostril)
That this year more people will use cocaine than will read a book to their children
Documentary camera crews can tip you off to secret office romances that may be brewing. However, you may decide that other people's relationships are their own business and ultimately drop that side project.
I think Pate's right. It was probably at gmmr or somewhere else. No matter, *This Gal*, great thread.
In a pinch, hand sanitizer can be an acceptable substitute for your favorite alcoholic beverage.
Scranton, PA and Stamford, CT are in the same time zone.
Blessed are they who sit and wait.
No matter how much you say you don't like ketchup, you still really like ketchup. Trust me.
Costa Rica will still be there when you're 65.
That sometimes the person who leads the search for the missing $3,000 is the same person whose clerical error is to blame for the money turning up missing in the first place. Yeah, oh.
Sometimes, I find that my arms are too fat to reach into the vending machine when my tasty choice is stuck. When this happens, you first need to try shaking the machine; but if this doesn't work, you can seek out a co-worker with skinny arms to get the job done.
Office party: Mint chocolate chip icecream cake is the only option.
Urine is the preferred stain on bedding.
Hug it out, bitch does not translate.
Staking out a CFO at home can reap huge rewards.
There are some things you just can't explain.
When toasting a cheese pita, stay close to the toaster oven and monitor its progress.
I've learned to always ask, "Is it me? Or does it smell like Updog in here?"
Comedy is alive and well, as are homeless people. And Comic Relief still does exist!
...that just because you eat tuna for lunch does not mean Big Tuna is a suitable nickname.
...that, as a corollary, being nicknamed Big Tuna is no guarantee that someone will order tuna when you get sushi.
...that if you might have skin cancer, you should try to get on your girlfriend's health insurance plan, because the coverage here is terrible.
AIDS is not funny.
But have you tried, FrenchOnion? Because the Lincoln Assassination just became fair game to be funny.