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You Sir are a Gentleman and a Scholar: Things We've Learned From The Office
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Nov 10th 2006

To start us off..

  • Cornell has an extensive alumni network.
  • Baskets on bikes are manly.
  • Sometimes it pays to be gay.
  • The people in the engine room on the Titanic drowned.
Nov 10th 2006

Sometimes you have to just grow a pair.

Nov 10th 2006

There is no such band as "The Black-Eyed Crows"

Nov 10th 2006

A real ladies man doesn't know that he's a ladies man

Nov 10th 2006 edited

A well-timed fax from your future self can save your life or that of a co-worker.

edit: great thread idea

Nov 10th 2006 edited

Although Michael Moore is an amazing documentary...er, Bowling For Columbine was not a bowling movie like Kingpin. It was something different.

Nov 10th 2006 edited

Always call before you drive two hours to go on a date with a guy you're not even sure you like that much.

Nov 10th 2006

Not everything in life is a lesson, Ryan. Sometimes you just fail.

Nov 10th 2006

Is it me or does this whole thread seem vaguely familiar, like it might already exist?

Oh well, whatever...

Like the song by 80s hair-metal band Cinderella says, you don't know what you got 'til it's gone.

Nov 10th 2006

I remember this being a topic at GMMR a while back and somewhere else, Brian, but I don't know if it was here. Either way, still fun!

Sometimes, when I get really frustrated about something, it helps to just throw handfuls of napkins around the room and scream a bit. Takes the edge right off.

Nov 10th 2006

I apologize if this thread is repetitive. I looked through all of the threads and didn't see one on this website. Although, I'm a "newby" to other office websites, so there maybe something somewhere else.

  • Clients can smell bullcrap from a mile away
Nov 10th 2006

You can cure sinus infections by brewing green tea stems and pouring the tea directly into your sinuses, like so....

(Tips teapot in nostril)

Nov 10th 2006

That this year more people will use cocaine than will read a book to their children

Nov 10th 2006 edited

Documentary camera crews can tip you off to secret office romances that may be brewing. However, you may decide that other people's relationships are their own business and ultimately drop that side project.

I think Pate's right. It was probably at gmmr or somewhere else. No matter, *This Gal*, great thread.

Nov 10th 2006

That Chili’s is the new golf course. It’s where business happens.

Nov 10th 2006
  • That Al Pacino deserved an Oscar for Raging Bull.
Nov 10th 2006

You can't get diseases from a bird.

Nov 10th 2006

In a pinch, hand sanitizer can be an acceptable substitute for your favorite alcoholic beverage.

Nov 10th 2006

Scranton, PA and Stamford, CT are in the same time zone.

Blessed are they who sit and wait.

No matter how much you say you don't like ketchup, you still really like ketchup. Trust me.

Costa Rica will still be there when you're 65.

Nov 10th 2006

That sometimes the person who leads the search for the missing $3,000 is the same person whose clerical error is to blame for the money turning up missing in the first place. Yeah, oh.

Nov 10th 2006

Sometimes, I find that my arms are too fat to reach into the vending machine when my tasty choice is stuck. When this happens, you first need to try shaking the machine; but if this doesn't work, you can seek out a co-worker with skinny arms to get the job done.

Nov 10th 2006
  • Office party: Mint chocolate chip icecream cake is the only option.

  • Urine is the preferred stain on bedding.

  • Hug it out, bitch does not translate.

  • Staking out a CFO at home can reap huge rewards.

  • There are some things you just can't explain.

Nov 10th 2006

I have weak arms. (One of the many defects of my kind...)

Nov 10th 2006

When toasting a cheese pita, stay close to the toaster oven and monitor its progress.

Nov 10th 2006

There is no health insurance in the wild.

Nov 10th 2006

AIDS is not funny.

Nov 10th 2006

I've learned to always ask, "Is it me? Or does it smell like Updog in here?"

Nov 10th 2006

Comedy is alive and well, as are homeless people. And Comic Relief still does exist!

Nov 10th 2006
  • ...that just because you eat tuna for lunch does not mean Big Tuna is a suitable nickname.

  • ...that, as a corollary, being nicknamed Big Tuna is no guarantee that someone will order tuna when you get sushi.

  • ...that if you might have skin cancer, you should try to get on your girlfriend's health insurance plan, because the coverage here is terrible.

Nov 10th 2006

AIDS is not funny.

But have you tried, FrenchOnion? Because the Lincoln Assassination just became fair game to be funny.

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