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I confided in the world's worst confidant: Advice
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Apr 2nd 2007

After this past weekend where I morphed into Dr. Phil (see the tirade thread), I thought it might be okay to have a seperate advice thread. Mostly for romantic stuff (seeing as that's a big topic), but also just everyday stuff. If James is okay with it, of course ;-)

Apr 2nd 2007

Here's a start...

In the words of Norm Peterson: "Women. Can't live with 'em. Pass the beer nuts."

Apr 2nd 2007

I'm a parameter setter, so I'd like to know first what constitutes a bad confidant. Inability to keep a secret? Or giver of terrible advice? Or someone who interprets a confidence as a BFF situation?

There's always "The fastest way to a man's heart is through his chest" if we are playing cheerful sexism quotes.

Apr 2nd 2007

Well, if you hang out a ton, but mostly at work, you're probably a bad confidant ;-)

Apr 2nd 2007

"The fastest way to a man's heart is through his chest"

touche

Apr 2nd 2007

Well, with a chainsaw, sure...

Apr 2nd 2007

I morphed into Dr. Phil

Don't be so hard on yourself. I like you way better than Dr. Phil.

Apr 2nd 2007

Just don't morph into Dr. Phil's wife. I have no reason to hate her, but I do. Unless being the wife of a TV psychologist qualifies you to write your own relationship book and have it heavily promoted on AM radio. I distrust things advertised on AM radio as a rule (sheepskin mattress pads that cure the dubious fibromyalgia?) so throwing your product in with that lot makes it suspect.

Apr 2nd 2007 edited

I endorse Two-Hole Punch Jim's advice. I never would have had the confidence to flirt with the guy I like on Saturday if I hadn't felt encouraged on here on Friday. I think it may be working. (I wrote about Saturday night on the pretzel day thread.)

My swaying was actually dancing! It was the box step and both of us were pretty bad at it, but it was the most fun I've ever had dancing. :)

Apr 2nd 2007

Don't be so hard on yourself. I like you way better than Dr. Phil.

Thank you...I do have more hair than him, so that's a really good thing ;-p

Apr 2nd 2007 edited

I endorse Two-Hole Punch Jim's advice. I never would have had the confidence to flirt with the guy I like on Saturday if I hadn't felt encouraged on here on Friday. I think it may be working. (I wrote about Saturday night on the pretzel day thread.)

Nice to see my advice had a positive effect for a change (not going to get into all the times it hasn't) ;-)

Apr 2nd 2007 edited

I endorse Two-Hole Punch Jim's advice. I never would have had the confidence to flirt with the guy I like on Saturday if I hadn't felt encouraged on here on Friday. I think it may be working. (I wrote about Saturday night on the pretzel day thread.)

I'm having dinner with the girl I like on Wednesday. But it was Captain Jack.

update: The character. Sickos.

Apr 2nd 2007 edited

Whatever I said about William Joel and Captain Jack was wrong. CJ gets you high at night... it's Philip Collins who actually asks for you to take him home. Maybe you won't need that protection after all.

Apr 2nd 2007

I have some good advice. Never go to bed angry. Make sure all problems are settled before you hit the sack. You can trust my advice, I haven't slept in years.

Apr 2nd 2007 edited

There's a line in Captain Jack that suggests it's not the best dating song.

Apr 2nd 2007

I didn't even know there was a song. I was just referencing Booze Cruise. I'm sorry I did.

Apr 2nd 2007

Yikes. So what does that say about those of us who thought of that first?

Apr 2nd 2007

So do I fess up tonight when it is revealed that I ate all the rest of the ice cream, or do I go out and buy more and then eat enough so that it looks like the same carton? Or buy more and hope it isn't opened until I've had a chance to consume the right amount?

Apr 2nd 2007

Buy a new carton. If anyone asks, the old one "didn't look quite right." Maybe mold was in it, or it fell on the floor, and gross crumbs were in there.

Apr 2nd 2007

Ever stand in front of an open freezer and eat all the cookie dough chunks out of B&J's Cookie Dough ice cream? Me neither.

Apr 2nd 2007

So do I fess up tonight when it is revealed that I ate all the rest of the ice cream, or do I go out and buy more and then eat enough so that it looks like the same carton?

You do that too?

Apr 2nd 2007

I'm having dinner with the girl I like on Wednesday. But it was Captain Jack.

Then I'll give you away! ;-p

Apr 3rd 2007

I guess if I give advice, I should also be willing to take it. So here goes:

Ever since the mix CD incident and the follow-up with the crazy guy post-Valentine's Day weekend, things have been really awkward between me and the girl I like. I have tried to get in touch with her but she hasn't responded. A mutual friend talked to her about it and she said that me wanting to be more than friends made it awkward and that maybe we couldn't even be friends anymore because of that.

Now in the greater scheme of things, I know that I would get over her eventually if we did end up parting ways. But I really like her, and would do so even if it wasn't romantic on my part (and I think so on her part, but she might not be in a place where she can trust someone else. I base this on the fact that, during one of our conversations back in the day, she mentioned how her boyfriend had broken it off via profanity-laden email). I really don't want to lose her friendship, but I'm not really sure what I can do at this point.

All I want to let her know at this point is that I just want to be friends, and I'm not gonna push for anything more than that. I've just been hesitant about it because, as it stands now, I'm not sure how she feels about it. I've seen her around campus, but I felt like if I tried to approach her she might think I was still pushing for more than friendship.

Anyway, I'm gonna try not to focus on this so much because I've got one month left of schoolin' and (other than my Spanish class) I really think I can get all "A"s this semester (the spanish, not so much). So I'm hoping I can focus on that and not stress out so much because that's not gonna do much to convince her that I can be her friend.

Apr 3rd 2007

Here's my advice, but keep in mind that you should take it with a grain of salt because I am shy, bookish, and not a very nice person: The only person in your life who is not fungible is you. If she doesn't want what you want, and is going to avoid you because of that, then maybe it's better that you don't spend a lot of time with her, for a few reasons:

  1. Hanging around with someone is not a good way to get over them.

  2. Unrequited love sucks worse than having to find other people to spend time with. See above re: getting over people.

  3. To hell with her anyway. If she doesn't want to untie the ribbon on the Two-Hole Punch Jim package, that's her loss.

In my experience, whenever I've been romantically interested in someone who wasn't interested back, I've had a tendency to convince myself that we were great friends as a way of making it okay for me to be around them despite the rejection. The fact of the matter is that such friendships are almost always unhealthy, sometimes for both partners. Every situation is unique, and other people feel differently in this matter than I do, but that's my advice: Let her go.

Apr 3rd 2007

DFTF, your comment reminded me of this.

Anyway.....THPJ, I am really not in a position to give advice on anything, but here goes. If you think it's a friendship worth saving, say something. If one of my friends said something to me, I might be a little weirded out at first, but would ultimately be glad it happened. However, if you're doing it out of hopes that something more will come of it later, it's probably just better to move on.

Apr 3rd 2007

It's definitely worth saving (the friendship). She's really awesome, and these past few weeks without her around haven't been so great.

Apr 3rd 2007

Random advice:

Never assume babies are stupid. Especially when it comes to food.

Apr 3rd 2007

Okay, it's not exactly advice, but here is a rule by which I try to live: One can scrimp in any of a number of areas -- buy cheaper food, drive less, don't go out -- but the secret to a happy life is to always have the kind of pillow you want, and have good toilet paper. Everything else is secondary.

Apr 3rd 2007

Oh, so now we're giving unsolicited advice? OK...always carry one of those floss sticks in your car. That way, you can floss every day while driving (or in the parking lot to be safe), and your teeth and gums will be much better. My dentist was always bugging me to floss every day, but I didn't have time until I did this. He did notice a difference and asked me if I was flossing every day.

Apr 3rd 2007

Always read carefully. I originally read KarenM's statement above as never assume babes are stupid. It seemed sage, but odd, advice.

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