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I confided in the world's worst confidant: Advice
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Aug 16th 2012

These are not hard and fast rulesButtRefusesToQuit.

Aug 16th 2012

Couldn't you just imagine those attributes on a woman in any story, Bri?

Aug 16th 2012

hermaphrodite.

DftF you covered all the bases with that choice.

Thanks for the feedback, everybody. Guess I need to stop worrying about this stuff and just write something and then fix it later if it's not quite right.

Aug 16th 2012

Guess I need to stop worrying about this stuff and just write something

Yep.

Aug 16th 2012

Lt. Greatits might not be the best detective on the force, but she sure had the best set of knockers.

Aug 16th 2012

And a lot of pluck, I assume.

Aug 16th 2012

Lt. Greatits chased the suspect down the narrow alley, her ample bosom jumping up and down as her legs pumped. Her breathing came faster and faster, until sweat moistened the front of her too-small uniform.

This writing stuff is too easy.

Aug 16th 2012

until sweat moistened the front of her too-small uniform.....and then the ninjas attacked.

Aug 17th 2012

Lt. Greatits recognized one of the ninjas - a half-Mexican, half-Chinese fugitive called "El Grande Dong." She had been on the hunt for Dong for several years and now he was just inches from her.

Aug 17th 2012

And a lot of pluck, I assume.

Pluck is ranked by most academics and literary scholars just ahead of irony and just behind moxie as the key to great literature. Great tits is fourth.

Aug 17th 2012 edited

Lt. Greatits chest heaved as she stood in the alleyway pointing a (name and numbers of big ass gun) at El Grande Dong.

"What's up, Dong?" she gasped.

Dong took measure of her bouncing bosom and smiled as he answered, "Somethin' big, Greatits, somethin' big."

Oct 29th 2012 edited

I'm writing a little article for our historical society newsletter, about how I used a book to find other old relative names. It goes...this guy donated a book to the society. I knew the author was a distant cousin because he always called my great-uncle "Cousin." I used the book and found out blah blah blah. Encouraging statement about doing research, you'll probably find something cool even if it isn't exactly what you're looking for, blah blah blah...

Then I want to end it with "Thanks to Mr. _ for sharing your book with the society, and to _, for his research and writing the book. Blah blah blah."

But, the author of the book died within the past "couple of" to 5 years. Is there a better way to say thanks to the author, or does the way I have it sound like I don't know he died, or what? Should I only thank Mr. _ for donating it? Say something like, his efforts "live on" or something? Is that cheesy? The goal of the little article is to say, this kind of research isn't all that hard...try it out...generally be encouraging. I don't want to bum people out. "Oh, yeah...all these people died. We're gonna join 'em soon enough. Write out what you got now. 'Fore it's too late."

Oct 29th 2012

Just say "...and to the late Mr. X, who wrote the book and supported the local historical society during his life."

Oct 29th 2012

That's almost perfect, Jinx. But I think I'll use his real last name.

Oct 29th 2012

Yeah, that's...wait...no, it's gotta be your bull.

Oct 29th 2012

I think he sounds way more kickass if you call him Mr. X. Otherwise he's just some lameass historian. And a dead one at that.

Oct 29th 2012

Hmm. You make a good point.

Oct 29th 2012

I think he sounds way more kickass

That's why I put an "x" at the end of my name, Jin.

Nov 12th 2012

I have a meeting on Friday, about 90 minutes away. It's a covered dish, and as we've discussed before, I'm crap at cooking. But I'm supposed to bring something and plates and napkins and stuff is already covered.

What should I take? Pretzels and chips? That's so lame.

Nov 12th 2012 edited

It's a covered dish

What's that? A potluck?

It's a 90 minute drive, so don't worry about bringing anything warm, because that's way too much hassle. How about something like a fruit salad? Or some fancy store-bought bread?

Nov 12th 2012

Yeah, a covered dish is a potluck. Northerners, amirite?

Fancy bread? I can totally do that. I guess I could haul some fruit salad, too, in this weird-sized cooler I have. It's the iPad mini of coolers. Good calls, Nerf!

Nov 12th 2012

I'd go with the fancy bread. That will travel the best and goes with anything.

Nov 12th 2012

In Oregon, we call it a klatch.

Making guacamole is super, super easy. All you really need is avocados, limes, salt, and cilantro. Seriously, look it up on epicurious or something. It takes like ten minutes. Then you can buy chips and you'll be all good to go.

Nov 12th 2012

Dude, I screwed up instant pudding. I'm going with fancy bread.

I've never heard of a klatch.

Nov 14th 2012

I've never heard of a klatch.

Sadly, neither has Lt. Greatits

Nov 15th 2012

You guys, I'll tell you what I want to get and you tell me what it's called, what I should google or whatever.

I want to get a stereo.

I have a sort of boombox stereo that plays, tapes, CDs, and the radio, and I like it. It plays good and if I need to, I can change it from the cord and put batteries in it and take it somewhere. It's fine.

I have 4 (old) speakers that work fine and give good sound. I used to have a radio/record player thing that they went with. But that whole set up isn't necessary. I never play records. I used to, when I had that stereo all set up, but I took it all apart, because the radio tuner quit working. Now, I'm using a couple of them as ugly tables. I just got used to having them around, you know?

So, I have speakers, but no input. And it's not like I can hook the speakers into the boombox. It doesn't have any additional outputs.

What is the thing that I need to buy called? I want a thing that will play the radio, and CDs, and has an input for my ipod/computer.

Searching for a stereo on amazon is giving me giant home theater systems. I want something between a boombox and a home theater.

Nov 15th 2012

I think you're looking for a receiver.

Nov 15th 2012

I think you're looking for a receiver.

Right, but she'd still need a separate CD player.

Nov 15th 2012

Yes, she would. Some of those receivers have inputs for ipods now I think, so a CD player (they're cheap) and a nicely equipped receiver should do it, right?

Nov 15th 2012

I think you're looking for a receiver.

So is John Travolta. Or the Buffalo Bills? Which is funnier? Augh...I ruined a funny joke.

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