Not signed in (Sign In)
Welcome to The Watercooler, the companion forum to Northern Attack and all things concerning The Office on NBC.

Guests are free to browse the forums, although you will need to register for an account if you wish to participate in the discussions or use any of the advanced features of the forum (bookmarks, history, etc).

If you already have an account, please sign in now.

The Watercooler is powered by Vanilla, the sweetest forum on the web.

Bottom of Page
I confided in the world's worst confidant: Advice
  1. <
  2. 1
  3. ...
  4. 4
  5. 5
  6. 6
  7. 7
  8. 8
  9. 9
  10. 10
  11. 11
  12. ...
  13. 282
  14. >
211 to 240 of 8447
May 4th 2007

Ya, I'm just wondering if the dealers can ever make me give back the car or make me pay for it in full. And you're right, I've already paid off half of it, might as well buy it...and I love it to :)

May 4th 2007

I seriously doubt if they'll ask you to pay for it in full. I mean, I'm pretty sure they make more money if you finance it. I just bought a car, and my experience was that they were pretty willing to do what they could to set up financing that worked for me. It might be different for you since you've already been leasing the car, in that there's little threat of you bailing and them losing a sale, but my guess is that if you go in and say "I wanna buy this car, how can you make that work for me," they'll be fairly helpful. That is, assuming this isn't a shady dealership, but since they offer leases I'm guessing it's pretty legit.

May 5th 2007

I just sent my cousin another e-mail, but didn't call her by any name in the body. Maybe I can just be like, "How's it going, sport?" and "What do you think, cuz?" without ever using a name at all.

May 5th 2007

Among cousins you have a free pass to call her childhood names. I wouldn't worry about it. She can always explain to people (in the future) that you call her Anita because you grew up together. No one will bat an eye.

May 5th 2007

Good. That's what I like to hear. I guess I was just worried about it, because we haven't really been close in the past couple of years.

May 8th 2007

A former boss of mine was a VP of something at a major college textbook company. I worked for him at a small publishing house. He left the job, I left the job, and we stayed in touch for a while (with another coworker who is my actual friend involved in our little friend triangle). This guy is fifty years old and lives thirty miles away and it's just too hard to be friends with him because I really don't want to drive and I don't like talking on the phone that much. The last time he called was right before the baby came and I couldn't really talk for very long. I never called him back. Sent him a baby announcement, he sent a card.

Last week I sent him an email asking if I could use him as a professional reference. I was also a little chatty but not too much... I don't like cluttering emails with lots of different topics. So I have since gotten a marketing email from him (he's a realtor now and sent the monthly newsletter) but no response. Do I call him and ask? Do I call him to chat and wait for him to bring it up? Do I use him as a reference anyway?

He has said to me in the past that I could absolutely use him as a reference, but that was more than two years ago. I kind of want to approach this company (as a freelancer, not for a specific job) and they want two references. I have the other one squared away. I don't need a letter... just contact information. My friend who was the third point in this triangle says I shouldn't feel bad about not being more social with this guy. Have I crossed into just using him? Or am I overthinking it?

May 8th 2007

Do I call him to chat and wait for him to bring it up? Do I use him as a reference anyway? Have I crossed into just using him?

KarenM, tough situation, I hate not knowing what someone's thinking. I wouldn't say you're in "using him" land; it's a natural tendency to have less communication when people quit or move away, props for staying in touch this long. Maybe call him and chat him up, this is always akward for me but after having a similar experience with reference letters for grad school I know what it's like to have the feeling of something dangling over your head. If you can get ahold of him, phone, email, smoke signals, and sort of allude to the reference question, maybe he'll give you a straight answer. At least you might be able to gauge from the tone of the conversation whether he's reference worthy or not. 30 miles + baby = tough to visit, so no feeling guilty for you. I have enough trouble seeing friends from former departments within the same building

side note: I hate asking people for references. The Very Best of Luck to You!

May 9th 2007

So I called my friend today and he called me back at a good time and we talked for ninety minutes and everything is fine and he hadn't read personal email in more than a week because his ninety-year-old mother is visiting from Florida with his sister and her friend and they just left yesterday. So I asked about the reference and he said of course.

It's still hard to get to see him, and I really don't like talking on the phone that much, but he told me there is awesome Mexican food at a tiny little place in the, well, barrio, and because he's a realtor he drives all over the county and we might go there or we might have dim sum and he'll play food jockey for the little fella while I handle the little filly. And the tiny little place actually makes its tortillas with lard. I wish I was there right now. We have reaffirmed our commitment to watch The 4400 this summer--I told him it was starting and he told me about the next Heroes marathon on May 19 on the SciFi Channel so I can get caught up (I have only seen the pilot).

He is a good person and I am a mean one. I just wanted to clear his name on this board. Now I am going to go contact that company.

May 9th 2007

There's a lot of good news in there, but I think the best part is that you'll be hopping on the Heroe's bandwagon. I'm sure sci-fi purists and comic book geeks could find chinks in the armor, but I think it's a great hour of television. Good luck with that company.

May 9th 2007

I told him it was starting and he told me about the next Heroes marathon on May 19 on the SciFi Channel so I can get caught up (I have only seen the pilot).

And...

There's a lot of good news in there, but I think the best part is that you'll be hopping on the Heroe's bandwagon. I'm sure sci-fi purists and comic book geeks could find chinks in the armor, but I think it's a great hour of television.

I agree with Brian that we have to get as many people as possible involved in the "Heroes" phenomenon...and, Brian, I equally blame and thank you for initiating my newest obsession.

I am not normally a sci-fi fan (though I was hugely into "Star Trek: TNG", largely based on my crush on Patrick Stewart), but "Heroes" is, just, wonderful.

KarenM, you won't be disappointed! "Heroes" is a lovely, well-executed escapist story.

He is a good person and I am a mean one.

Hm. KarenM, I don't think of you as mean. Just honest. In a very refreshing way.

PS Am I getting off-topic here? Sorry...

May 9th 2007 edited

All this for a kind of a long shot. I don't have the exactly university publishing experience that they want but they want subject matter experts in musicology, so I might be able to sneak in on the fact that I know something about music. I got my first editing job ever because I had a little bit of experience teaching basic math, so I've had pretty good luck in the margins. And my two references are university folks--one's a professor and this one was an executive at a university textbook company (although I worked for him somewhere else).

Call me Rocky Balboa of freelancing. If I get a call, that is. I'll be happy with a follow-up test or something.

But yeah, how lucky am I that there's ANOTHER Heroes marathon? I couldn't stand waiting and watched the pilot online for free and that really hooked me. I hated to pay $30 on iTunes to get caught up, though.

edited to fix a horrible grammatical mistake in a post about trying to get an editing job

May 10th 2007

The same friend who got me started on The Office has told me before that I should watch Heroes, but I just can't seem to commit myself to more than 1 or 2 shows at a time.

May 10th 2007

I am not normally a sci-fi fan (though I was hugely into "Star Trek: TNG", largely based on my crush on Patrick Stewart), but "Heroes" is, just, wonderful.

At least your crush was human. I had a bit of a Brent Spiner obsession back in the day. I started watching TNG for Wil Wheaton, though. Ahh...Stand by Me

"Wagon Train's a really cool show, but have you ever noticed they don't really get anywhere? They just keep on wagon-training."

Oh, and on the advice of you NAers whose opinions I value so much, I've started watching Heroes, too.

May 10th 2007
May 10th 2007 edited

I need advice. I am part of an online professional discussion group (accessories, hair stuff, etc.). It's great for directing web traffic to my items and for bouncing ideas off of other crafters, getting recommendations for supplies, etc. There is a discussion board for those things, and sometimes it goes to unrelated topics (kids, family, etc.). I don't often visit the board, but I've been there a few times over the past week or so for various reasons, and I just have to say (maybe this is really a tirade) that some of the off-topic discussions have really irritated me. For example, there was one about the war in Iraq, and long story short, the overwhelming majority of people there believe that you cannot both support the troops AND not be in support of the war at the same time. I disagree with that, but that's not even my beef. Some of the opinions are expressed so vehemently, without room for discussion, that it's alienating. Today there is one going on about teachers in schools. One member is upset with something her daughter's teacher supposedly said to the class (something about not being able to go on a scavenger hunt because some of the members of the class were misbehaving). So another member of the group....wait for it...SUGGESTED THAT THIS MOTHER CALL SOCIAL SERVICES AND "REPORT" THE TEACHER FOR SPEAKING TO THE KIDS IN A NEGATIVE MANNER. She was totally serious. My jaw dropped when I read it. Even if you don't agree that the actions of a few should affect the entire class, calling an overworked Social Services worker to report this (based on the recollections of a 7-year-old, no less) seems extreme. It feels like it's turning into a group of snippy, overprotective mothers.

Anyway, my question is this: should I remain a member of the group in order to retain the benefits of the "name" so I can generate business through online searches? Or should I leave the group? Should I speak up when someone asks for an "opinion" about something? Should I keep my membership and just refrain from reading any off-topic discussions? I'm torn. I don't have to participate in the discussions, I know, and I usually don't; on the other hand, part of me feels like I have less and less in common with the group as each day passes, and that by leaving I will free myself up for different professional opportunities, perhaps in a different group. I don't want to act hastily and regret it from a financial standpoint, because I think it really does make a difference. And on the other hand, I kind of feel like I'm selling out by remaining silent about some things. Is this just a professional concession that I have to make? Should I suck it up and be quiet?

May 10th 2007

Should I keep my membership and just refrain from reading any off-topic discussions?

I'd go with this one if it were me. If your not benefitting from it, what's the point? If they're as opinionated as you say, I doubt you have anything to offer them either. Stay a member as long as it helps you professionally, but if the reputation of this professional group becomes less credible to the public, I'd seek out another group to affiliate with.
Is your membership with this group exclusive? If not find other opportunities to advance your business. Get as much exposure as you can.

May 10th 2007

So another member of the group....wait for it...SUGGESTED THAT THIS MOTHER CALL SOCIAL SERVICES AND "REPORT" THE TEACHER FOR SPEAKING TO THE KIDS IN A NEGATIVE MANNER. She was totally serious.

Wow. This makes me angry on so many levels I cannot even begin to address it.

I see your dilemma. From a professional standpoint, I wouldn't want to be associated with those people on any level. However, marketing yourself and your products on the internet is extremely difficult. My suggestion to you would be to continue seeking out alternative sources of networking (have you tried selling things on etsy.com? or advertising your stuff on craftster.org?) and hopefully you can get to the point where you don't need that source of web traffic anymore. Until then, (or maybe indefinitely) I would steer clear of the discussion completely.

May 10th 2007

We get spoiled here, but unfortunately, that's how most online "discussions" go. My advice is similar to TO101's: keep it professional. Just avoid the off-topic stuff, and stick around as long as you feel it's beneficial to you. You're definitely not selling out, either. Most of the time you just have to let people have their opinions, especially online.

May 10th 2007

Is this just a professional concession that I have to make? Should I suck it up and be quiet?

Think of it this way: You don't have to like them to take their money. Maybe that will work.

I think your best bet is to avoid the off-topic discussions, and pretend as though you have no opinion when it seems as though people want you to express one. This is a tactic that I have honed (believe it or not) for dealing with both clients and relatives, which sets of people both tend to have much different views to I. I think of myself as a spy. They can project their beliefs onto me, if that makes them happy; I'm just here to get through this thing cos I have to. I imagine it might be hard to do online, because people have a tendency to be extreme when posting anonymously, but it sounds to me like you should ignore it as best as possible. Sucks when you feel insulted, though.

May 10th 2007

We get spoiled here, but unfortunately, that's how most online "discussions" go.

That's very true. I don't know what we're doing right, but we are to be applauded and awarded tiny dundies for good behavior.

May 11th 2007

Thank you for all of the good advice. Although my first impulse was to simply resign from the group, I don't know that it would be in my best interests right now, so I'll sit tight. I do have an esty account, CZJ, so we'll see what happens with that, and I will check out craftster.org, too.

TheRealBenFranklin wrote:

You're definitely not selling out, either.

Thank you for this. I needed to hear that.

May 11th 2007 edited

TMI, deleted ;-)

May 13th 2007

So another member of the group....wait for it...SUGGESTED THAT THIS MOTHER CALL SOCIAL SERVICES AND "REPORT" THE TEACHER FOR SPEAKING TO THE KIDS IN A NEGATIVE MANNER. She was totally serious.

I hear you, LT. My mother works in child care, and some of the things she has to do (or not do) are ridiculous. For example, she's not allowed to say no to a child; this is negative and affects the child adversely. So the kids get everything they want, when they want it. She can't tell a child he or she is naughty, she has to say that the thing that child was doing is naughty. I ask you, what 4 year old is going to distinguish between being naughty and committing a naughty action? And then would said child be upset about one but not the other? Somehow I don't think so. And that's just the start. DOCS (Dept. of Community Services, which I guess is the Aussie equivalent to your Social Services) are frequent visitors to my mother's centre because of things like you've mentioned. Some parents complain about just about everything.

Political Correctness is breeding a generation of spoiled children who think the world is theirs. Everything is handed to them on a silver platter, and that's what they expect. If they don't get it, they commit a naughty action and then get away with it because parents/teachers are not allowed to chastise. What will happen when they finally emerge into the "real world" and have to work for the things they want, have to earn them?

Sometimes I fear for the future.

May 17th 2007

OK, kids.

My cousin's child, with whom I have never had an actual conversation much less an adult one, is graduating from high school this year. I had no idea until I got her announcement and invitation to her open house (in another state). I will probably send a little gift but I can't imagine what she might want. I don't like sending gift cards or money, but it would be nice if I could send something smallish that would be easy to mail. Ideas?

If you insist that gift cards is all anyone wants, please tell me where.

May 17th 2007

Target, iTunes, or something fun and "trendy" like Jamba Juice. And believe me, money won't bother her one bit.

May 17th 2007

I don't like sending gift cards or money, but it would be nice if I could send something smallish

It's somewhat traditional to give travel-related things for a high school graduation. A manicure set? Compass? I'm trying to think of small things. I agree with Post-it Thief, though, your cousin once removed will appreciate gift cards or money quite a bit, especially because you are not close and she would not expect you to give something sentimental. You can always get her an amazon gift certificate. It's all electronic, you can "send" it to her in an instant. And amazon has everything, not just books. Just an idea. Gifts are tough. We west coast types who have to wait another three hours to see the finale that others in this group can watch in ten minutes have to stick together.

May 17th 2007

I never knew about the travel-related thing. I like that idea. Keep 'em coming, west coasters! And others, of course.

May 17th 2007

You can also just use Amazon to shop for ideas. It's easy to search, you can go down "if you like this, you'll like that" paths, etc. And you can get a fair amount of info about the stuff with plenty of links, all that noise....good luck!

May 17th 2007

You can also send her the classic graduation gift, Dr. Seuss's "Oh, the Place You'll Go."

Someone gave me a little graduation bear statue when I graduated college. When I ended up at a job as a receptionist, I kept the little bear on my desk to remind me that I actually HAD accomplished something, and the reception job was just temporary. So even the less-than-personal gifts in this life can end up meaning something. It's sweet that you want to give her a little gift/card/certificate/whatever.

  1. <
  2. 1
  3. ...
  4. 4
  5. 5
  6. 6
  7. 7
  8. 8
  9. 9
  10. 10
  11. 11
  12. ...
  13. 282
  14. >
211 to 240 of 8447
Top of PageBack to discussions