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[Closed] Summer Contest Challenge #5: It's a Date
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Jul 2nd 2007 edited

Moderator and longtime forum member Catherine Zeta-Jones has issued this week's challenge, and we thank her for the contribution. It is short and sweet, and addresses a longstanding request around the Watercooler:

Jim and Pam. Dwight and Angela. Double date. Elaborate.

Judging criteria:

Responses are to be evaluated on the following:

  1. Overall impact
  2. True to characters
  3. Appropriate to challenge prompt
  4. Creativity

Reminders:

  • Deadline for submitting entry #5 is midnight PST, Sunday, July 8
  • Voting for challenge #5 begins Monday, July 9
  • This thread is for challenge topic and entries only; please go to the contest description thread for questions/discussion.
  • No Editing Allowed on entries once submitted. Double-check word count (250 word max) and content before posting.
  • Please review contest description for other details.
Jul 2nd 2007
Jim at Pam’s desk

Jim: Ok, we are set. Dwight & Angela are in for the double date as long as we do not do anything to make them feel uncomfortable.

Pam: What could we do to make them feel uncomfortable?

Jim: She asked if you could button two more of the three buttons left on your shirt and wear the sweater that you have on right now. She doesn’t want people to think you two are easy.

Jim shrugs his shoulders and smiles at Pam then the camera.

At Chili’s.

All four are at the table. Dwight and Angela are slowly moving closer to each other. Jim reaches to put his arm around Pam and her phone rings.

Pam: It’s Roy I should probably take this.

Jim: That’s cool, I have to head to the restroom.

Pam slides to the end of the booth. Grabs a pen and seems to be writing something on a napkin.

Dwight: I love you Monkey.

Angela: Not here Dwight.

After 5 minutes. Pam hangs up the phone and hands Dwight the napkin, she drew the two of them holding hands. Angela and Dwight smile.

Jim one on one with the camera near restroom.

Jim: I understand that he may still call her and its ironic that he calls her while we are at Chili’s. Last year Pam gave Roy a Chili’s gift certificate and he brought her here for their 6th or 7th anniversary. I forget which one it was.
Jul 2nd 2007 edited
Edit: consider me DQed for this round. I posted the wrong draft.
Jul 2nd 2007

Dwight and Angela at the break room table

Dwight (whispering):
We’ve been summoned to Chili’s.

<Angela gets up to stand facing the coffee machine.>

Angela:
Why?

Dwight:
We’re being groomed.

Angela:
For what?

Dwight:
He controls office productivity; she controls office access—but they need allies.

<Dwight crosses to the refrigerator and opens it.>

It’s a test.

<Pam walks by and waves through window. Dwight and Angela watch her pass.>

Dwight:
Show her deference. Perhaps a gift?

Angela:
I gave away the alpha kitten!

Dwight:
Get it back.

Angela:
But she already refused it.

Dwight:
That can’t be good. You’ll have to offer something else.

<snaps his fingers>

Order her a margarita. She likes those.

Angela:
Last time she had one she ended up kissing Jim in public. What if she does it again?

Dwight:
You’ll have to kiss me.

Angela:
At the restaurant? Like some hussy?

Dwight:
He’s second in command over the office, so she’s second in command over the women. Do whatever she does.

Angela:
Who’s first in command over the women?

Dwight (grimacing):
Jan. Maybe Kelly.

<Jim enters. Dwight hurriedly closes the refrigerator door.>

Jim:
Did you pick a time?

Dwight:
6:30?

Jim (in a deep, theatrical voice):
Make it so.

<Jim leaves.>

Dwight:
Interesting… So if I’m Riker, you’re Troi… Wear something low-cut.

Angela (reluctantly):
How low?

Dwight:
Show one inch of cleavage. I’ll wear a red shirt. We’ll be captains of this branch no later than 2379!

Angela:
And then it’s good-bye Kelly Kapoor!

Jul 5th 2007

dwight’s doing windmill strokes on an air guitar and banging his head to some sound that normal humans can’t hear. he just picked up a spare in the seventh frame.

jim can’t understand how he and pam ended up here, bowling with dwight and angela.

as pam tallies dwight’s score, jim is amazed to see karen walk in with david wallace.

“david’s back,” dwight says.

jim asks, “back?”

“he’s a regular,” dwight says.

pam’s surprised, “he bowls?”

jim adds, “...in Scranton?”

dwight recounts “‘best lanes east of the mississippi,’ david says.”

“wait,” jim says, “you said that... on the way here.”

dwight nods. and keeps nodding in a slight circular motion.

“it’s starting to make sense now,” pam says, seeing david and karen.

“oh, really...?!” jim falls silent. karen’s now hovering above the front desk.

pam starts nodding now. dwight says, “stop that! i’m the bobblehead!” then jim gets it.

“dream,” he asks? pam nods and grins. it’s her drunk nod, he realizes. like on dundie night. nice dream.

“pam!” dwight yells. then pop! his head blows up. little plastic pieces everywhere.

angela, who’s been recounting pam’s scores, yells “possum!” pop!... more angry little plastic pieces.

“all gone,” pam giggles. she turns to karen and blows the slightest puff of air. karen drifts toward the door, saying, “tell jim i’m floating away...”

“you ’ave no idea,” pam slurs, “how long i’ve wan’ did do that.”

jim laughs, “me too,” and thinks, don’t wake up, don’t wake up...

Jul 6th 2007

“A church social, though?” Jim asked.

“Come on, it’ll be fun,” Pam pleaded. “If you’re going to be my boyfriend, you have to do boyfriend things, like double dates. It was nice of Angela to invite us. Besides, normal people go to church”

“I know, my parents go to church,” Jim said. “Just probably not the same church as Angela...”

“And Jim,” she said, “no pranks.”

Dwight – TH
Fact: My girlfriend is deeply faithful. Fact: While I am skeptical of the superstitious nonsense that weak-minded twits call religion, I respect my girlfriend…Um, I’m not saying she’s a nitwit mind you.

Angela – TH
It’s a Martin family tradition to attend the St. Stanislaus Summer Faith Fest & Chastity Celebration. We really look forward to it. I think it could really help Pam with her loose morals. Oh, and this is the first time I’m bringing a date…besides my peepaw. That’s my grandfather. We put him in a home last Christmas.

“Do you have a dress for the dance Pam?” Angela asked. “Perhaps something less provocative than your usual work attire.”

“You don’t like my sweater and skirt?” Pam asked tentatively.

“You look like a prostitute, to be quite honest,” Angela said. “If we’re going to do this, you can’t embarrass me.”

Pam – TH
Jim wanted to pretend we thought it was a costume party and show up as Julia Roberts and Richard Gere from Pretty Woman. I told him that was immature. I wonder where I could find fishnet stockings quick.

Jul 6th 2007

Jim's SAAB, with the two couples inside, pulls up to a restaurant.

DWIGHT: What’s this?

PAM: This is Jackrabbit Slim's. An Elvis man should love it.

ANGELA: But Dwight likes Hobbits. I thought we were going to a steak place.

JIM: You can get a steak here, Angela. Don't be such a tightwad.


Inside, the four get a table. The waiter, dressed as Buddy Holly, comes to the table.

BUDDY (to PAM): How 'bout you, Peggy Sue?

PAM: I'll have the burger, and a five-dollar shake.

DWIGHT (stunned): Did you just order a five-dollar shake? You’re an idiot.

Soon after the meals arrive small talk ensues. After a moment, an uncomfortable silence falls over the group.

JIM: Don't you hate that?

ANGELA: What? The ridiculous vegetarian menu? It’s pathetic. I knew we should have picked the Olive Garden.

JIM: No, I meant uncomfortable silences.

ANGELA: Actually, I enjoy them.


ED SULLIVAN STANDS ON STAGE

ED SULLIVAN:(into microphone) Ladies and gentlemen, now the moment you've all been waiting for, the world famous Jackrabbit Slim's twist Contest...Now, who will be our first contestants?

DWIGHT (to ANGELA): Whattaya say, monkey?

ANGELA: Certainly not, Dwight. Dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire. Dancing is for the dissolute.

JIM shoots a look at PAM. PAM smiles, gets up. The pair make their way to the dance floor and remove their shoes.

PAM: I want to win, Halpert. I want that trophy. So dance good.

JIM: All right. You asked for it.

Jul 6th 2007

Nighttime, Jim and Pam standing outside.

Jim: A lot has changed since your original documentary stopped filming.

Pam: I've been staying at home with the kids and trying to paint.

Jim: She's being modest. Her painting has really taken off. She was even featured in Fine Arts Aficionado Monthly.

Pam: And after the documentary started airing, Dwight sold a bunch of Dwight bobbleheads on his website. He used the money to open up a restaurant with Angela, which opened last week.

The camera pans to reveal a brick building with a large “Dwangela's” sign. They walk into the restaurant.

Mose: Ah, you're finally here. Follow me.

Mose leads them to the party room, where Dwight and Angela are already seated at opposite ends of the long banquet table. They all greet each other. Jim and Pam take seats across from each other in the middle of the table. Jim motions to Pam to look behind her. She turns and sees one of Angela's baby posters.

Pam: Classy!

Jim: Um, do you serve soft shell crab?

Dwight rolls his eyes.

Dwight: They'll have Dwangela specials. Four Dwangela specials. Pronto!

Pam: What's the Dwangela special?

Angela: A beet salad, followed by a beet burger with a side of roasted beets. Beet wine to drink, and for dessert, a slice of beet cake. It's all vegetarian.

Jim and Pam grin at each other.

After dinner, Jim and Pam say goodnight to Dwight and Angela, then walk outside.

Jim: That was... interesting.

Pam: Definitely.

Jul 6th 2007

What Dwight might say: A haiku of rejection

Double date with them?
No way. Never Happening.
My Monkey’s a howler

Jul 6th 2007

(Jim leans on Pam’s desk, whispering)

JIM: Pam, did you…

PAM: Yes. How could I say no?

JIM: Dwight asked me, too. Do they know we know?

PAM: I don’t know if they know we know.

JIM: (smile) Stop it. So, tonight then? Is she picking you up to “get ready” for the date as well?

PAM: Oh, yes. I have a list. (Shows paper)

JIM: (eyebrows) Oh…k. See you tonight. Sometime. (Jim look) Somewhere.

(Cut to Jim and Pam sitting together on a bale of hay. Loud, obnoxious children are clambering all over them. They are dressed like Raggedy Ann and Andy.)

JIM: I’m sorry, Dwight. I missed that. Why are we the entertainment at the Schrute Family Reunion again?

DWIGHT: Because. We can’t go out in public. Someone in Scranton will see us.

JIM: That’s not what I…

DWIGHT: Question: What type of birth control is the most effective?

PAM: Oh, my. (stands up)

ANGELA: Since you two are dating and obviously have looser moral values than we do…

PAM: Oh! Um. (shaking head) Do you really think this is the best place to talk about that kind of thing?

CHILD: (whispers in Angela’s ear)

ANGELA: (shocked) My rear-end will never come near a fire of any kind! Dwight! Discipline!

(Child exits screaming, followed closely by Dwight.)

JIM: (standing up) So, we’ll have to get back to you on that one. (To Pam) Wanna go to Chucky Cheese’s?

(Angela protests as they exit, quickly)

PAM: Anywhere but here.

Jul 6th 2007

Setting: Roughly 9pm on a Saturday. Jim & Pam are at a booth in Cooper’s.

Jim: OK, I win $10 for saying they’d itemize the bill down to the penny.

Pam: And I win $8 for guessing they’d recommend a tip of less than 15%. And $6 for guessing Angela would try to recruit us for church tomorrow. You lose $3 for guessing the date would be over by 8:00. They actually stuck around til 8:10.

Jim: Yeah, who would’ve thought they’d stay for an extra cup of coffee? But I did win $4 for betting one of them would complain about the meal. I should win $8 since they both complained.

Pam: Too bad, you should have specified that in the bet. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a waiter cry though. Poor guy.

Jim: I know, I felt bad for him. Hopefully the extra $20 we slipped in there helped make up for it.

Pam: You’re sweet. Back to the bets, I win $5 for saying Angela would criticize every woman in the office at least once. She did that in the first thirty minutes.

Jim: And I won $4, I said Dwight would compliment Michael at least five times. Which he did. So adding it up, you come ahead by $4. Do you want it now?

Pam: No, just carry it over to the next bet.

Jim: Right, Michael and Jan next weekend. I bet $20 he makes a comparison between your breasts and Jan’s breasts…

Jul 7th 2007

Dwight: I have a new complaint for Jim’s permanent file.

Toby: Dwight, I really don’t think-

Dwight: I took the liberty of typing it for you.


Last Friday, the 6th of July, Jim Halpert, Pam Beesly, Angela Martin, and I, Dwight K. Schrute gathered at Applebee’s for a dinner date. While there, Jim encouraged Pam to engage in lewd behavior-


Toby: Pam engaged in lewd behavior? What did she…uh, nevermind.


-and Jim repeatedly attempted to inquire about my beet farm and my current living arrangements. When I explained to him that we had 9 bedrooms, he asked which one Angela was staying in, and Angela jabbed me, rather forcefully in the thigh, with a fork. Jim continued to interrogate me about my hobbies and personal preferences. I suspect he is attempting to take over my identity again.


Toby: Dwight, it sounds like Jim was trying to have a conversation. Besides, this didn’t even happen at work. I can’t take this, Dwight.

Dwight: I demand that you give this complaint the proper attention it deserves. Or I will start my own permanent file.

Toby: For complaints about your friends? Who’s going to take disciplinary action on that?

Dwight: Oh, there is a disciplinarian.


Pam: Jim and I kissed while Dwight was on the phone with Michael and Angela was in the restroom. It really wasn’t a big deal. I think Angela might have seen though, because she muttered something about unseemly behavior as we left.

Jul 7th 2007

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR HARRY POTTER 5 AHEAD

“Dwight, I’m getting uncomfortable in this tartan cape,” whined Angela. It was understandable considering the sweltering heat of a Pennsylvania evening.
“Jim and Pam should be here any moment. I told them 10:30 exactly so we could get good seats—the midnight showings fill up wicked fast. Plus, do you think the African Wild Dog gets to shed his fur in the heat of the Serengeti summer?”
Jim and Pam strolled up, with matching lightening bolt scars on their foreheads. “Hey, Dwight. Are you supposed to be Peter Pettigrew or…?”
“Um, no. Sirius Black. Duh.”
“So you’re gonna die at the end of the night? See, Pam, I told you this wouldn’t be so bad.”

“Hey, Angela?”
“Yes, Pam?”
“Why are you here? I’d think Harry Potter wouldn’t be your cup of tea leaves, so to speak.”
“The Anti-Christian sentiments are misguided. There’s plenty of moral to be found. It’s not The Chronicles of Narnia, but it’s decent. In addition, I identify with Professor McGonagall. If I had an animagus, mine would be a European Burmese.”
“Wow. Hey, it looks like they’re seating. You all ready to get taken to a dream world of magic?” Jim took Pam’s hand, an automatic gesture at this point, but one that still held immense meaning. He wouldn’t ever dare admit her touch still gave him butterflies.
The men leaned down to their respective women on the way into the theater and each whispered, “So, you want to play Ron and Hermione tonight?”

Jul 8th 2007

Pam notices Dwight speaking to the coffeemaker and Angela to the microwave. Something is definitely cooking.

Dwight (through gritted teeth): “There has got to be another way!”

Angela: “Sure. We could ask Ryan and Kelly. But I’d really rather die.”

Angela TH: “Harsh? I haven’t spoken to my brother in years. Not since he took up with that blond hussy and took on airs. He fancied himself the greatest musician since… the Beatles. He even started speaking with a phony English accent. Where I come from we’d say he’s taken the last train to Clarksville.”

Dwight (sighs): "Monkee, if that’s what you feel we must do, so be it.”

Dwight TH: "I have agreed to accompany co-worker Angela to hear her brother’s band. She was offered four tickets as a gesture she thinks would be improper to turn down, from someone who perhaps regrets things that have transpired. The other two tickets? (eye roll) Angela will invite Pam and Jim. I will drive, as I am the only one with a proper vehicle. (frowns) Although the last time I drove Jim somewhere he put an OK TO BE GAY sticker on the back window. Damn him.”

Angela approaches Pam and Jim.

Angela: "Jim. Pam. Do you want to go to a concert this Saturday with co-worker Dwight and myself.”

The couple is visibly shocked; Jim manages a reply:

“That sounds… interesting. Who’s the band?”

Angela (thinking) : “Cold…play. Yes or no.”

Pam, wide-eyed, nods; Jim replies:

“Absolutely we do.”

Jul 8th 2007

Jim and Pam walk in, laughing. Dwight stands at the door, stopwatch in hand.

Dwight: Fact: Your lunch breaks ended 12.363 minutes ago. I have a standardized form, prepared by me, that I will be sending to Michael, and Ryan. so they will know of your time banditry. You will then be fired.

Angela smiles.

Jim TH: We weren't fired, actually, but did have to promise Toby not to provoke Dwight at work. So Pam and I have decided to stalk Dwight and Angela--on our personal time. Forced double dates. Should be fun.

Farmer's Market:
Dwight and Angela in overalls next to the beets. Angela sees Jim and Pam.

Angela: Dwight!

Dwight dives into a barrel, birkenstocks in the air. Jim and Pam smile.

Cat Show:
Dwight and Angela exit briskly, followed by Jim and Pam perusing programs.

Harry Potter Release Party:
Dwight dressed as Ron, Angela hiding her face.

Angela: I want to go.

Dwight: Don't worry, monkey. I'll dominate the trivia to advance to the front.

Jim, Pam, and every kid there: Hi, Dwight and Angela!!!

Dwight and Angela flee upon this sight. Jim and Pam hand out candy.

Breakroom: Jim sits, Dwight enters.

Dwight: I would like to propose a . . . truce.

Jim: Yeah?

Dwight: Yes. It would be best for . . . you and I.

Jim: Sure. Hey, will we see you at the lodge tonight? They've got new jerky!

Dwight: (frustrated sound)

Dwight exits; Jim grins.

Jul 8th 2007

VIctory! screams Dwight as he wins the best two out of three Rock Paper Scissors to decide who gets to pick the appetizer.
Orzo rice and beets it is, he says, much to the grimace of Pam and Jim, but not to Angela
Time their starting point as...now he says to Angela, that will decide the tip percentage.
Earlier in the night....

For twenty dollars and the rights to anytime watching of Legally Blonde please don't make me go, says Jim
Oh, grow up, says Pam, you'll hate this till we're there and you'll leave with tons of material.
Really? That's the angle your gonna take? he responds. Fine, but next time were at Chili's I get to pick the fake names AND country of origin.

Meal is coming to a close...
Entree, gets a seven, manners gets a four due to that at-knee length skirt, the little hussy, says Angela as she and Dwight fill out the service rating card.

Time to go, she continues, church tomorrow, got to get up early.
Oh, come on mon...(looks nervously at Jim/Pam)...dammoiselle, again, we just spent forty dollars on that Jerry Caldwell certified Holy Water!

What a night! Did you have fun Jim? asks Pam.
I'd say "absolutely I will" now that it's just you and me.
Nope, no subliminal message here.

Jul 8th 2007

(Jim approaches Pam’s desk)

Jim: Did you get one, too?

Pam: Oh, you mean a top secret message from Dwight, regarding Operation Cinematic Adventure? Yeah, I got one. What should we do?

Jim: Well, since I’m assuming that this is an offer to go see a movie with him and Angela, then… absolutely, we should go. What do you say, Beesly?

Pam: (grinning) Sure. Do you want to tell them, or should I?

Jim: I’ll do it.

Pam: Okay. Don’t forget to use the code.

Jim: Right, of course. What was it, again?

Pam: “The lovebirds will fly the coop at sundown.”

Jim: Lovebirds, huh? (Jim winks; Pam grins)

(He walks back to his desk; Dwight turns to him expectantly)

Dwight: (quietly) Well? What did the sparrow say?

Jim: (quietly enough to prevent being overheard, but loud enough to make Dwight nervous) Yes, Dwight, Pam and I would love to accompany you and Angela to the movies tonight.

Dwight: Damn it, Jim!

(Jim smiles at camera)


(Jim and Pam enter the theatre that evening; they spot Dwight and Angela)

Dwight: I’ve already purchased your tickets. You can thank me later.

Pam: Wait, what are we seeing?

Angela: (as Dwight hands them tickets) License to Wed. I think some of us could learn a lot from Reverend Frank.

(Jim and Pam exchange glances)

Jim: Wow.

(They go in to find seats. A few minutes into the movie…)

Pam: Wait… does that guy look familiar to anyone else?

Jul 8th 2007

Jim and Pam watch their dinner company with nauseating curiosity from the other side of the table. Dwight and Angela are completely entranced with each other and seem to have forgotten about Jim and Pam.

Angela is fondling her necklace with one hand while clutching her fork in the other. She’s staring at Dwight with eager, hungry eyes. Dwight cuts a giant piece of his extra rare steak, stabs it with his fork and holds it out in front of him, teasing Angela with it.

“Eat that meat, Dwight…”

“You want me to eat this meat?” Dwight asks seductively.

“Eat it, Dwight. Eat it!” Angela responds breathlessly.

Dwight shoves the bite into his mouth. Angela gasps. Dwight chews ravenously with his mouth open while Angela’s pulse quickens. A red trickle runs down Dwight’s chin but Angela is quick to catch it with her finger. She studies the glistening juice on her finger and places it in Dwight’s mouth. He quickly begins licking her finger like a dog lapping up water. She feels unclean having desecrated her finger with steak secretions but finds herself enjoying it and she closes her eyes until Dwight stops to cut another piece.

“Do you want a bite?” he asks with a smirk.

Staring into his eyes, she answers, “You know I don’t eat meat.”

With a devilish grin, he replies, “Yes, but I think you’d really like… MY meat…”

Jim abruptly begins choking on his food.

“Waiter! Some water, please?”

“And the check?” Pam adds.

Jul 8th 2007

make love, not war

Two-on-two paintball
Teams seek cover...both end up
playing one-on-one

Jul 8th 2007

DwightfromtheFuture: Don’t get me wrong, I laughed several times. The bit where Dwight put the rolls under the table as part of an elaborate greeting ritual in particular was hilarious. But just felt forced to me. I don’t watch this show so they can send people who hate each other out on double dates. And I’d like to see more of Pam.

Loaded Teapot:

And I’d like to see more of Pam.

I’d like to see more from Pam. You’d think, now she’s with Jim, she’d be able to suck it up and express herself a little bit. But there she was with the grin and bear it attitude, all while Angela was telling her what a whore she was.

Brian:

And I’d like to see more of Pam.

Also I would like to express that I feel the same way as you do about this.

Jenna Loves Josh: Wouldn’t we all.

Emmyjean:

But there she was with the grin and bear it attitude

I’m going to have to stick up for Pam again. They were in public. You can’t just go around picking fights in restaurants. Besides, she didn’t call her a whore. She said red shoes are whorish.

Brian: I don’t know from red shoes, but Pam doesn’t look whorish in a red sweater.

Nathan: I just thought Jim was the best part of this episode. I loved that thing he was doing with the breadstick.

Brian: Um . . .

DwightfromtheFuture: Should I say something, or do you want to?

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