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Pam Beesly : I call it the Perfect Storm
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Jul 7th 2010

I have known several Jennas, including a pain-in-the-arse kid in one of my preschool classes.

In all cases, they were born Jennas.

Jul 7th 2010

Actually, one of the few genuinely derranged people I've ever known was named Jenna. She tried to poison our seventh grade homeroom teacher. Literally. Put something in her coffee while she was out of the room -- wanna say Dran-o, but why would she have had Dran-o? Anyhow, she was a nut. Kicked me in the shin with her cowboy boots once.

Jul 7th 2010

One of my good friends is marrying a Jennifer who goes by Jenna so I guess it isn't so uncommon.

Also, I've never met or seen an unattractive Jenna.

Jul 7th 2010

I've never known a Jenna. I do know a Jena.

Jul 7th 2010 edited

I do know a Jena.

Isn't that a town in some southern state where there was some kind of racist stuff going on? Like a lynching or something? Maybe I have that wrong.

For the record, I've known Jenna's and Jennifer's, but never a Jennifer who called herself Jenna, or visa versa.

Jul 7th 2010

I...don't know. The Jena I know is a human person. I have known several Jennifers. So many Jennifers.

Jul 7th 2010

So many Jennifers.

Yesh. My mom says that if she knew that the name Jenna existed when I was born, she would have named me that instead of Jennifer.

Jul 7th 2010

Jennifer was the most popular girl's name in the U.S. the year I was born (actually from 1970-84). Mine was #9 on the boys list that year.

Jul 7th 2010

Gaylord got up to #9?

Jul 7th 2010

It's a Fokker family name.

Jul 7th 2010

When we named our daughter, we used the Italian version of "Jenna". Gina

Jul 7th 2010

the year I was born (actually from 1970-84)

I take this to mean that you are every age between 26 and 40.

Jul 7th 2010

It was an excruciating delivery.

Jul 9th 2010

I guess it got worse as time went on.

Jul 9th 2010

I hate my name. I mean, it's pretty. But everyone has it. There's nothing like learning how to ignore your own name because when you hear someone calling it, 9 times out of 10, they don't mean you.

Jul 12th 2010 edited

So I have my laptop set up so Bubbleboy is subject to the strictest of parental controls. It is still amusing to see what he's trying to see. Last night he searched for "Jenna Fischer," "Jenna Fischer hot," "Jenna Fischer boobs," "Jenna Fischer tits," and "Jenna Fischer nip slip." He worked much harder trying to find Jenna than any of the other four actresses he was googling last night.

Also, he appears to be a boob man.

Jul 12th 2010 edited

"Jenna Fischer boobs," "Jenna Fischer tits," and "Jenna Fischer nip slip."

All dry holes....or so I've heard.

Jul 12th 2010

Who were the other four?

Jul 12th 2010

Ah, I can't remember now. I think Elisha Cuthbert was one. I found a slip of paper in his room with like seventy actresses' names. One day when he's not here, I'll go get it and name them for ya. I wish he'd put stars or some other rating system on it so I can see who he likes best.

Jul 12th 2010

Well, it sounds like he has good taste.

Jul 12th 2010

Actually, it does. If he's looking for naked ladies, at least he's looking for great naked ladies.

Jul 12th 2010 edited

Elisha Cuthbert stood beside my sister-in-law at the Keith Urban concert held here on the weekend. She said she was short. She also said she didn't talk to her because she didn't want to be asked what movies of hers she had seen because she hadn't seen any.

Jul 12th 2010

Is the the chick that was dating Sean Avery for awhile too? A true puckbunnie?

Jul 12th 2010

Thanks, Daoust. I have no plans to address it at this point, and I certainly don't expect him to grow out of tit. Guys, amIright? Heh.

I figure he's doing exactly what a boy his age is supposed to do, and I'm thankful that I'm aware of the extent of it. The way I see it, he's going to find something to look at, whether it's the phone sex/escort services ads in the back of the free weekly paper, or something with even more pep and zing. We all looked at stuff growing up-- whatever we found, we looked at. The only thing is, in my day, that was my dad's hidden stack of Playboys. In Bubbleboy's day, that could be internet videos of someone anal-fisting a midget while giving a beej to a horse. That's all fine and good, but may possibly damage the developing teenage brain as far as sex goes, in my opinion anyway.

My job is to make sure his discoveries are limited to the back-of-the-weekly end of the spectrum. If he scores a real porno mag, and I find it, I confiscate it. That's happened once. I felt kinda bad about it but I mean, he had fallen asleep with it open on the floor next to the bed, with the light on. I'm not that snoopy of a mom, so if he had hidden it better, he would still have it.

I can't deny him the internet-- it's important that he understand it and is wise to its perils and pitfalls, and recognizes its scammers, predators and trolls before he's out there in the world and ends up wiring all his money to some deposed Nigerian prince. So I try to strike the happy balance by parental-controlling the hell out of the computer. This way, I'm teaching my kid some important values: you have to work for your porn (work=payoff), hide it well (discretion), and learn to be better at computers than your mom (upward mobility). Win-win-win.

Jul 12th 2010

Better porn than the real deal at this point, right?

Jul 13th 2010

All I can think of now are those two empty rooms and the girls who will be applying to rent them.

Jul 13th 2010

Careful, there, Karen, you almost made me shoot coffee out of my nose! Alas, mostly guys are applying, and it's always been guys in the house, for some reason. Should girls end up here, I think it would do him a lot of good. Even if he thought they were hot. DftF, I'm not worried so much about the real deal at this time, as that "Mommy, help me, a teenage girl likes me and I don't know what to do" thing helped me gauge where he is with that right now. I'm not looking forward to when the kid actually closes the deal, but even then, he'll be dealing with real girls with pimples and BO and unwanted body hair. I just want the kid to grow up healthy so he doesn't ruin any real, meaningful relationship he has by having some twisted obsession with equestrian-scat-porn.

Jul 13th 2010

Also, he appears to be a boob man.

As all right-thinking American males of the heterosexual persuasion should be...

Jul 13th 2010

I know.... I'm very proud.

Jul 13th 2010

This way, I'm teaching my kid some important values: you have to work for your porn (work=payoff), hide it well (discretion), and learn to be better at computers than your mom (upward mobility). Win-win-win.

Nice, bwc. Embroidered-pillow worthy.

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