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Michael Scott : Go get yourself a monkey kidney
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Feb 27th 2007

Don't forget train conductor.

Feb 27th 2007

Oh, and Ship Captain.

And he has the power to marry people on boats.

Mar 5th 2007

I'm trying to remember what other unfathomable metaphors he relates a regional manager or himself to.

He is also The Boss of Dancing.

Mar 5th 2007

He just might be a basketball machine.

Apr 18th 2007

I love it when Michael starts a talking head by saying one thing, but by the time he's finished, he's said exactly the opposite.

  • I live by one rule. No office romances. ... Just do it. (Hot Girl)
  • When people say something's mutual, it never is. But this was mutual. (Performance Review)
  • Nothing happened. ... A gentleman does not kiss and tell. ... We made out. (The Client)

He even got Jan doing it.

  • No, I'm not nervous. Well, I'd be lying if I didn't say I was a little nervous. ... Yeah, I'm very nervous. (Valentine's Day)

Also great is when Michael's train of thought goes clean off the rails. The best ones don't make the aired episode (probably because they are too long), but they live on in the deleted scenes.

  • If I could change the life of one person... (The fire)
  • Yes, I have been on a hunting trip... (Halloween -- best Michael Scott talking head ever)
Apr 18th 2007

I'd like to share my two memories of Michael Scott - one old, one new.

OLD (and my all-time favorite)

Halloween episode, when we're voyeurs watching him happily and lovingly hand out candy to the little kids. LOVE that.

NEW

"Hey Darryl, how's it hanging?!" <laughs hysterically>

I'll rave for a long time about Steve Carell's portrayal of Michael Scott.

Apr 19th 2007

The best scenes are when he thinks he's hysterical and laughs at himself. Think of his face in Sexual Harrassment when Jim reads the "Michael Jackson" email.

Apr 19th 2007

Or when he repeatedly calls Ryan with different celebrity impersonations. Michael Jackson was even one of them!

May 25th 2007 edited

I'm so pulling a Michael Scott now, I'm trying to find this link I used to have to send my friend - or something similar. She's having a yick day so I'm trying to send the funniest darn thing imaginable....damn filters on this comp don't help :)

Ooh...the OFFICIAL rules of Shotgun:http://www.bored.com/shotgunguide/index.htm

Jul 27th 2007

Monkey Research

It is about monkeys so I put it here.

Oct 11th 2007

Tonight I was helping my son get his pajamas on. I said, "Here, let's start with this leg first." And he looked right at me and said, "That's what she said."

?????

Clearly I'm going to have to change the way I talk. What has been a nice little inside joke at our house ("Oh, look, at least one thing we can say that the kids don't understand!") has gone by the wayside. I can't have him going to preschool and responding to everything his teacher says with "That's what she said." That's not right. It's funny, but it's not right.

Oct 11th 2007

Teacher: OK boys and girls, take out your pencils.
LT Jr: That's what she said.

Teacher: It's OK if you don't get it right the first time. We'll keep working on it.
LT Jr: That's what she said.

Teacher: If you don't finish, you'll have to take it home and work on it.
LT Jr: That's what she said.

Teacher: Where's that damn kids' home number?

Oct 11th 2007 edited

LT Jr: In your butt!

Oct 16th 2007

A co-worker just shared this with me. It seems relevant here.

It's National Bosses Day

NATIONAL BOSSES DAY FACTS
Always celebrated Oct. 16.

According to the U.S. Department of Labor, more than 14 million individuals are employed in management occupations, and about 37 percent of them are women.

Workplace surveys confirm that one of the most important elements of job satisfaction is a positive relationship between a supervisor and employee.

Hallmark first made National Boss Day cards in 1979.

Oct 16th 2007

I sent my manager a Hallmark e-card for the holiday. We like to tell people that we have a healthy long-distance relationship (I'm his admin), so I figured a non-paper card would be a nice thing to give him. Especially since he always gets me good stuff ($50 gift cards, orchids, et al) for Admin Day in April - because he makes so much more money than I do, he can afford those kinds of gifts. I cannot.

Oct 16th 2007

Even if you had a trust fund and could afford a private jet, you shouldn't have to give him gifts. Gifts, like other things, flow downhill. But a card is nice.

Still, why do bosses get a holiday? They already have position and power.

Oct 16th 2007

Seriously. You wouldn't have days for mothers or fathers, would you?

Oct 16th 2007

That's different. Bosses? That's one of the worst invented holidays ever. Mothers and fathers actually affect the quality of your entire life--good ones should be awarded. Bosses you can walk away from. It's nice when they are nice but it's an artificial relationship to start out with. No offense to nice bosses.

But it's true. I'll admit it. I do not send cards to my grandparents on grandparents day. It never even occurs to me to do so, not even in the "I feel a little guilty but I am making a statement" thought kind of way.

And I don't think subordinates should ever feel obligated to give presents to their office superiors. If they are friends already, that's one thing. Call me a feudalistic throwback, but power and prestige really ought to be enough to outweigh the need for a boss to get superficial tokens, too. And absolutely should bosses reward and acknowledge subordinates.

Oct 16th 2007

Yeah but I actually do like my boss. He doesn't expect anything from me in the way of a card or gift, so that's another reason why I did it. Now, if my boss were horrible, he'd get absolutely nothing on Boss Day...in fact, I'd give him negative-thing if it were possible.

Oct 16th 2007

Then it's win-win-win!

Oct 16th 2007

Absolutely it is :)

Oct 24th 2007 edited

Steve Carrell on Fresh Air with Terry Gross right now (88.5 WAMU, NPR Washington DC area )

Oct 24th 2007 edited

anybody want to transcribe?

seriously, I watched casino night again recently and steve is amazing to watch in the phone scene with jan and carol. there isn't a carrell thread (that I remember) so I'll say it here: the funnyman can act. if you haven't stuck casino night in the old player lately, do yourself a favor.

edited because i forgot i told ferd no caps today, and was thus committing a capital offense.

Oct 24th 2007

They are playing "Age of Aquarious" a la the End of 40 Year Old Virgin before commercial break :)

Oct 24th 2007 edited

nice.

any other highlights are welcome.

Dec 26th 2007

I am so Office-starved that I did some hunting around for stuff about the show and cast I hadn't seen or heard before. I found this Steve Carrell interview of Fresh Air (NPR) from October, and I thought he had some interesting things to say about Michael.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=17618207

Feb 21st 2008

My coworker (the same one who said he moved my Dwight bobbleheads into his office) just told me to bring in my Michael Scott bobblehead into the lab tomorrow. I just might but then I might use up all of the battery because I know I will keep making it talk.

Apr 27th 2008

After Night Out, does anybody think Michael could be a better boss than Ryan? I may not be right but he's never done anything to make them have to come in on a Saturday or lose commissions like Ryan did. And the did laugh when Pam said he would've had some kind of theme party planned, so even if it was a comedic failure he would've tried to make the day fun. Way back in The Job, Wallace said Michael had cut cost after the merger without losing a single client, and he has displayed flashes of managerial acumen. Besides that, how much money would have to relaunch a company's flagship website not to mention the lawsuits they've opened themselves up to by the sex predators invading the website.

Apr 27th 2008

Well I think Michael is skating on the thin ice of the Peter Principle already, saved from an icy death only by those occasional flashes of managerial acumen. He probably also benefits from occasionally being able to hit the road and return to his sales roots. Promotion would kill him and the company, I suspect. Besides, his performance during "The Job" -- particularly during Jan's meltdown -- probably cemented in Wallace's mind why they keep Michael in Scranton in the first place. I do think it'd be a long while before Jim could be a better regional manager than Michael, though. Grasshopper has much to learn yet.

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