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Northern Attack Northerners: All Things Canadian
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1831 to 1860 of 1904
Jul 28th 2015

I paid $55 or so for 51 liters of gas.

Good?

Bills made of plastic with transparent portions. Monopoly money has nothing on Canadian currency.

No way.

We stayed next door to a seven-story Buddhist temple, and the waiter at a nearby pub condescendingly explained that all burgers are well done because "your country radiates your meat and we do not," as though I had a hand in such atomic shenanigans personally.

You should have told him he was lucky we didn't radiate his meat.

All that said, it's an underrated destination. Bonus: I forgot my bathing suit but found a great one for C$10 in a souvenir shop with a CFL's Montreal Alouettes logo on them that fit great. What a country.

Why did you need a swimming suit in Canada? It's the land of snow.

Then you go to the Canadian side and they have everything.

Lies.

New York Thruway to the QEW

That's not how roads are called. None of it.

Canada is doing something a lot better than we are.

You shut your filthy, dirty whore mouth.

We should take all that...and the pretty parts, and the parts with oil. They can have the icebergs.

Finally, you're talking sane.

Jul 28th 2015

^ Like

Jul 29th 2015

You shut your filthy, dirty whore mouth

This is, surprisingly, how Canadians say good morning.

Know what makes you feel weirdly guilty? Waiting in line at a border checkpoint. I guess that's how the IT guy feels all the time.

Jul 29th 2015

"your country radiates your meat and we do not,"

This would be news to many people. False, but still news.

Jul 29th 2015

Yeah, I hadn't dug into that claim just yet. The burger I had was more like a small meat loaf. It was actually pretty good, but not a burger. You can get steak as pink as you like, by the way.

Aug 19th 2015

The worst sin is the gravy on the French fries.

Aug 20th 2015

We had gravy fries in high school. But until I figure out what a cheese curd is and why it's good if it squeaks, I'll assume poutine is a communist plot.

Aug 20th 2015

I like gravy fries. Don't tell Canada.

Jun 15th 2016

If the moose like their vet, can they keep their vet?

Jun 15th 2016

The thing is, things are so crazy in your country right now, I think I'll take living with moose any day. Seriously guys. Get a hold of yourselves. And if you can't, please don't bring us down on your sinking ship.

Sincerely, Daoust, spokesman for Canada

Jun 16th 2016 edited

And if you can't, please don't bring us down on your sinking ship.

This is a legit fear. But there's no way we're going down alone. We're going to elect Mark Cuban in a brokered election. We're going to free O.J. and make him Ambassador to Foreign Countries. We're going to dig up Ted Williams and put him on our money. Well his head, anyway. We're going to invade England and all the rinky dink little Americas that aren't Real America and make them play real football. No more soccer suckers! Then we'll start wars for oil: motor oil, baby oil, olive oil. We'll find out where they make Oil of Olay and invade that turdhole. Make it safe for democracy and soccer. You want your moose? You can keep your moose. Keep it in Cleveland, which is where we're relocating the Canadian economy. We'll need the space for all the koala bears we're going to be taking possession of on our Secretary of Tremendous Foreign Policy with Pathetic Losers' next trip down under there. (We just made you say underwear, commies!)

Or hey, maybe Bernie will rebound or there'll be a brokered GOP convention. So, there's like, hope.

Jun 17th 2016 edited

So, there's like, hope.

starts openly, snotty, disgusting, ugly weeping

Jun 17th 2016

Daoust needs to check his Canadian privilege.

Jun 17th 2016

figure out what a cheese curd is

I've always avoided this, because it sounds awful, but the other day I was at this event and there was weird-shaped cheese, so I ate some. And it was fine. Just, completely regular cheese, in weird shapes.

Then I found out it was cheese curds. There was no squeaking. Just cheese.

I think it might have been cheddar.

It was fine.

I don't get the hype.

It's cheese.

Jun 22nd 2016

Miss Muffet always liked them.

Jun 23rd 2016

Well sure, with whey.

Jun 23rd 2016

Mi muff, like em?

Jun 24th 2016

Now that Brexit has passed, next I hope that Canada chooses to leave North America.

Jun 24th 2016

Build a wall and make us pay for it.

Jun 27th 2016

Like

Aug 20th 2016

Wanna know what's happening in Canada tonight? Our quintessentially Canadian band, The Tragically Hip, is playing their last concert ever, because frontman Gord Downie has terminal brain cancer, and tonight is the final show of their farewell tour. The CBC is broadcasting the event, commercial free, and all day social media has been buzzing about the final show. There are public parks who are showing screenings all across the country, including two here. I know many of you don't care, but I felt like sharing this here, because it's such a big deal for us. Here's an article that summarizes the event pretty well: http://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/watching-canadas-biggest-rock-band-say-a-dramatic-goodbye

(I've forgotten how to markdown and don't care enough to learn)

Aug 20th 2016

I flipped onto CBC today to see if they were covering something unusual in the Olympics and this was what they were talking about. They even interviewed Trudeau and I was baffled why this was such a big deal. Thanks for the background story.

Sep 30th 2016

God I want to post an image of Justin Trudeau here, and I can't remember how anymore.

Sep 30th 2016

God, I want you to post an image of Justin Trudeau here and I think it had something to do with a !

Sep 30th 2016

Right? Wait, there may be hints, one second.

Sep 30th 2016

I have not been here since 2012. And I want to see Justin Trudeau. And I want to quote you wanting to post a picture of him. And I want to like it.

Sep 30th 2016

I figured it out

That face you make when you meet Justin Trudeau, even if you're already married to a prince.

Sep 30th 2016

And also I have to post on page 63 of this thread and it shows up on page 62 and I don't like that.

Sep 30th 2016

It probably has something to do with metric. Damn Canadians.

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1831 to 1860 of 1904
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