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Hours of footage and highlights : Quotes
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Feb 20th 2006 edited

This thread is reserved for quotes, quotes, and more quotes. Quote away.

Feb 20th 2006

from the Sexual Harassment episode

Kevin: (describing Pam's mom)"MMMMILF"

Feb 20th 2006

"A MICHAEL SCOTT JOINT"

Feb 20th 2006

From "Health Care"

Jim: "Government created killer nano robots?"

Pam: "It's an epidemic."

Feb 20th 2006

Dwight: "I have been Michael's number two guy for about five years, and we make a great team. We're like one of those classic famous teams. He's like Mozart and I'm like Mozart's friend. No, I'm like Butch Cassidy and Michael is like Mozart. You try and hurt Mozart, you're gonna get a bullet in your head, courtesy of Butch Cassidy. "

Feb 20th 2006

From "The Injury":

Jim: "I'd like to clamp Michael's face in a George Foreman Grill."

(I may never delete this episode from my TiVo just because I love replaying that quote so much. It always makes me smile :-)

Feb 20th 2006 edited

In "The Carpet", after Jim kept looking at Ryan at the reception desk,

Ryan "Jim's been looking at me kind of... a lot all week. I would be creeped out by it, but...it's nothing compared to the way that Michael looks at me..." I die everytime I watch that scene!

"I hooked up with her on February 13!"

Feb 20th 2006

From Basketball

Michael: Let's put together the starting line-up, shall we? Stanley, of course.

Stanley: I'm sorry?

Michael: Um, what do you play? Center?

Stanley: Why 'of course'? What's that supposed to mean?

Feb 20th 2006

This never fails to make me smile:

Pam: This was tough. I suggested we flip a coin. But Angela said she doesn't like to gamble. Of course by saying that she was gambling that I wouldn't smack her.

Feb 20th 2006

From "Health Care"

Dwight: In the wild, there is no health care. In the wild health care is "Ow, I hurt my leg. I can't run. A lion eats me and I'm dead." Well, I'm not dead. I'm the lion. You're dead.

Feb 20th 2006 edited

"Health Care"

Dwight: "Ever seen Unbreakable? That guy couldn't get sick and neither can I." Jim: "Ever seen The Sixth Sense? Maybe you're already dead." -pause- Dwight: "Unlikely."

Feb 20th 2006 edited

I love all of Angela's quotes.

"The Fire"

Angela: The DaVinci Code. I would bring The DaVinci Code. So I could burn The DaVinci Code.

Dwight Shrute: Yeah right, that would keep you warm for like 7 seconds.

"Boys and Girls"

Angela: "I'm not gaining anything from this seminar. I'm a professional woman, the head of accounting. I'm in the healthiest relationship of my life. I just think it's insulting that Jan thinks we need this. And apparently, judging from her outfit, Jan aspires to be a whore."

Feb 21st 2006
from The Pilot deleted scenes

Angela: "What can I say about Oscar? He's like a stapler. Do I need a stapler? Yes, but I'm still the one who has to press it down."
Feb 21st 2006

Would I rather be feared or loved? Um... Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.--Michael Scott

Feb 21st 2006 edited

From The Carpet:

"Charley horse...CHARLEY HORSE!!"

--Michael Scott after punching Creed in the arm

I don't know why I find this so humorous. The more I listen to Steve's delivery of this line, the more I find myself laughing.

Feb 21st 2006

"Once, as a joke, Packer banged every chick in the office. It was hysterical." - M. Scott

Feb 21st 2006

Who could forget this one:

Jim : [Silence]

Best. 27 Seconds. Ever.

Feb 21st 2006

I have to bring this up... from which point are we counting the 27 seconds? Because the only way I got to 27 seconds was including Jim's little nonverbals about 5 seconds into the period of silence.

Feb 21st 2006

favorite moment.. Pam: Um...I think i'm gonna be up at the lake... Jim:....I think I'll see you at the mall.....YUP... Pam:giggle!

FABULOUS! the two of them Kill me!

Feb 25th 2006

i think any time kevin opens his mouth something hysterical comes out...

"i need to erase a lot of stuff..A LOT of STUFF..."

give that guy more lines

Feb 26th 2006

Agreed....

"I bet Roy found out about you liking Pam....I bet he'll try to beat you up."

Anybody else says that, and its not really funny.

Feb 26th 2006

one of my favorite moments is when Dwight dressed as a Sith Lord for halloween.

the producers filmed him with his hood on and only his lips showing... just like the original DV, it was over the top but I loved every moment of it.

Feb 27th 2006

From Office Olympics:

"I'm an early bird, and I'm a night owl. So, I'm wise...and I have worms."

--Michael Scott

Feb 27th 2006

from "Valentine's Day"

"New York, New York...The city so nice they named it twice. Manhattan, I think, is the other name."

--Michael Gary Scott

Mar 4th 2006

"Hey, what has two thumbs and hates Todd Packer? This Guy!" -- Jim Halpert

"Would I rather be feared or loved? Um... Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me."

"It's simply beyond words. It's incalcucable. "

--Michael Scott

Mar 4th 2006 edited

One of my favorite moments is when Dwight dressed as a Sith Lord for halloween. the producers filmed him with his hood on and only his lips showing... just like the original DV, it was over the top but I loved every moment of it.

Oh, I love Dwight as a Sith Lord. His cut-throat motion to Pam (when Jim was called in to Michael's office) and replying to Michael's twin was hilarious. ('Quiet you')

Phyllis: What are you, a monk?

Dwight: I'm a Sith Lord...big deal, three round pieces of paper taped to his shirt. This cost me $129 (brandishing saber).

Mar 5th 2006 edited

Dwight: "She was in on it the whole time."

Deleted scene - Dwight's Dream Date. This has to be the best monolog by Dwight. I can't believe they cut it. Check it out at the NBC site if you haven't already.


85+ Products under $14 @ The Scranton Branch

May 5th 2006

Dwight Fart Schrute: "Clown Paint."

May 5th 2006

Creed: Very nutritious, but they smell like death

May 6th 2006

Dwight to Jim: "This thing is humongous, I am not a security threat and my middle name is KURT, not fart."

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