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If you need to run to Walmart, it's easier to throw on sandals than shoes.
If you do need to wear shoes, be sure they're the kind with velcro.
Even though you're older now, you can still wear pants with a waist size of 32. You'll just have to belt them at your nipple line in order to achieve that, though.
Suspenders will work as well for that. Remember to snap them with your thumbs as you walk through the adult diaper section.
I could use some fart advice, old or new.
Avoid at all costs, following a binge at Taco Bell.
You'll just have to belt them at your nipple line in order to achieve that, though.
Not a problem for us older ladies. The belt line and nipple line are one in the same.
Every once in a while my wife makes me sit down and let her trim my eyebrows.
This.
Avoid at all costs, following a binge at Taco Bell.
Are farts supposed to feel wet? My, uh, friend wants to know.
Not a problem for us older ladies. The belt line and nipple line are one in the same.
thurp
I have an eyebrow problem. I have old man eyebrows. They get very, very crazy. Because I am still single(ish), I feel the need to deal with this fairly regularly.
For "single(ish)", one could also read, "incredibly vain".
I'm wearing a cashmere blend sweater I picked up in the spring. It's deLIGHTful!.
I'm wearing a cashmere blend sweater I picked up in the spring. It's deLIGHTful!.
Are you a graduate of Cornell University?
I have an eyebrow problem. I have old man eyebrows. They get very, very crazy. Because I am still single(ish), I feel the need to deal with this fairly regularly.
A woman who wouldn't date you because of the way your eyebrows look isn't worth worrying about.
Well, wait. Walk that back just one step. Just make sure it never becomes a unibrow. Then she's got a pass. From me, anyway.
Are you a graduate of Cornell University?
Is that a real place? Wait, it's from the show, right?
Ok. For a stupid reason, I have three identical red sweatshirts, with Mickey Mouse on them. (For a good reason, I have two identical gray sweatshirts.)
The stupid reason is, my grandma sent three Mickey Mouse sweatshirts (actually it was probably 4 and we lost one, or gave it away) to our family a few years ago. We had them in a box and found them last year. Everyone else was all, "I don't want to wear that." and I so I got 'em all.
(The good reason I have for the identical gray shirts is, back in school, you were allowed to wear sweatshirts and sweatpants in gym, when it was too cold to wear your gym uniform, which was a t-shirt and shorts.)
Anyway. I have 3 identical Mickey Mouse shirts and I've worn one of them this year, you know, but not any more than any one other shirt. Like maybe once every other week.
Except, I haven't seen any of the three in forever. I'd guess it's been all of '13. What happened to my weird Mickey Mouse shirts? How'd I lose 3 shirts?
Actually, I was just thinking that I might have already gotten rid of the other 2, and have really only lost one. I don't see how I'd have lost 3 shirts.
I just thought I should check the closet for that shirt. And it was there. Duh.
I guess it just hadn't come through the laundry in a few weeks, because I hadn't worn it, because it was still in the closet. Just one of those things.
One of those weird Toos things.
So, I'm shopping for some new Levis. Currently, I have a pair of straight-leg Levis. I prefer flare or boot cut, even though they aren't really in style, because I like 'em when I walk. And I think I look good in 'em.
I've got a pair of bootcut jeans that I pretty much like, but it's just I'd rather get new bootcut Levis. I used to like them best, when I could get them. The bootcut jeans I have, I bought from a department store, and they're basically denim pants. I mean, they aren't that bad, and they're dark and look nice, they're jeans, just department store jeans...
So anyway. I'm shopping at Levi.com, and they have this new style, called "Bootcut Skinny." What does that even mean? They look like straight leg.
Am I basically screwed? Do I need to just buy my out-of-style pants at the department store, like somebody's grandma? Or just get straight-leg Levis?
Levi's has boot cut jeans. Go here and scroll waay, waaaay down until you get to the "boot cut" section. Past skinny (fuckers) and straight leg. Maybe you'll find something there.
Tomorrow night, I'm cutting my hair off. 4 o'clock appointment. Gonna chop it and send it to Locks of Love. I'm pretty freaked out. I know it'll grow back. But it's gonna be short. I've got a little over 30 hours left. Aaah!
I'm cutting my hair off. 4 o'clock appointment. Gonna chop it
Will the carpet then match the drapes?