Not signed in (Sign In)
Welcome to The Watercooler, the companion forum to Northern Attack and all things concerning The Office on NBC.

Guests are free to browse the forums, although you will need to register for an account if you wish to participate in the discussions or use any of the advanced features of the forum (bookmarks, history, etc).

If you already have an account, please sign in now.

The Watercooler is powered by Vanilla, the sweetest forum on the web.

Bottom of Page
My dearest Fillipelli, how come you're so smelly? -- The sweet & nasty poem thread
  1. <
  2. 1
  3. 2
  4. 3
  5. >
61 to 79 of 79
Dec 11th 2008

were spread behind the drinks machine.

Wow! That was just...wow!!

Dec 12th 2008 edited

I liked "fat Halpert", Dawsome. I'm not gay.

Dec 15th 2008

This thread was funny, I liked it a lot.
Then it got nasty and now it is not.

Dec 16th 2008 edited

This thread was funny, I liked it a lot.
Then it got nasty and now it is not.

I feel at least partially responsible for that. Perhaps I took the word nasty too
much to mean salacious rather than mean or unpleasant. Also, there seemed
to be a surge of one-upsmanship within the thread- a kind of wave of filth which
I rode to its inappropriate crest. Sorry about that. Still, I think my missive from
Dwight to that girl from the Jersey State Varsity Women’s Basketball Team
was pretty good:

O' Amazon! You're sweet and lean,
but I take my blondes short and mean.

Dec 17th 2008

a kind of wave of filth which I rode to its inappropriate crest. Sorry about that.

Because you put it so poetically, I forgive you. Not that you needed it. I was actually trying to get this thread up and running again, since it was born and seemed to die in my absence. It was a good idea B.

Dec 17th 2008

Every thread rides waves and crests.
This one's still good. Daoust likes breasts.

Dec 17th 2008 edited

Because you put it so poetically, I forgive you. Not that you needed it.

Every thread rides waves and crests.
This one's still good. Daoust likes breasts.

Thanks, Daoust. I suspect CGB is on the mark, you no doubt love
you some boobage and I salute that... twice.

TO BOB VANCE (VANCE REFRIDGERATION)
FROM PHYLLIS LAPIN VANCE:

My fine food-cooling expert, you’re so valiant and kind,
but I lust Halpert‘s hotness, I hope you don‘t mind.

TO THAT CUTE AMERICAN BUSINESSMAN I DID BACK IN NOVEMBER
FROM CONCIERGE MARIE:

I treated you poorly which I now regret.
You’re the best Yankee diddler that I’ve ever met.

TO PAM FROM TOBY:

My love for you will always endure.
Just dump Jim for me and your job is secure.

TO RYAN FROM MICHAEL:

You‘re back in my life and I think you know why.
Let‘s give in to temp-tation. My heart’s on fire, guy!

Dec 18th 2008

FROM MICHAL TO THAT ONE ASIAN HOOTERS WAITRESS
WHO‘S ARM I MARKED:

I hope that you enjoy my bike.
I‘m sorry you all look alike.

FROM KEVIN TO STACY:

I wish I’d handed you more kissage and huggage,
but instead, I stranded you like airport luggage.

FROM PAM TO ROY:

I‘d never purposely debase you,
but if you come back, I’ll have Dwight mace you.

FROM ANGELA TO ANDY:

Auf Wiedersehen Meine Süße Liebe.
That’s German for: “Welcome to Dumpsville, dweep.”

Dec 27th 2008

FROM MEREDITH TO CAPTAIN JACK FROM THE BOOZE CRUISE:

O' captain, my captain! So brave and so dear!
My lifejacket easily unsnaps from the rear.

FROM MEREDITH TO JIM:

You're eyes create a mood sublime.
You can sign my cast anytime!

FROM MEREDITH TO BRUCE, THE SCRANTON REP FOR HAMMERMILL:

For your sweet charms I quickly fell.
Plus, your meat is free and goes down well.

Dec 27th 2008

Very nice Dawsome. You are the master!

Dec 29th 2008 edited

...bator.

Kidding! I kid!!

Dec 29th 2008

Very nice Dawsome. You are the master!

...bator. Kidding! I kid!!

Your mom's a bator. Wait... what?

Feb 11th 2009 edited

FROM DWIGHT TO ANGELA:

I once called you evil, like a hobbit.
Now throw in the charm of Lorena Bobbit.

FROM DWIGHT TO ANGELA:

I reveled in taking you to the mat
now you're as fetching as a frozen cat.

FROM DWIGHT TO ANGELA:

Yesterday, my heart was yours beyond measure.
Today, I'd rather give Halpert oral pleasure.

Feb 12th 2009

Today, I'd rather give Halpert oral pleasure.

So would all the ladies on NA, for that matter.

Feb 13th 2009 edited

TO KELLY FROM DARRYL:

You're such a dark and curvy lass,
Gandhi himself would tap that ass.

TO KELLY FROM DWIGHT:

I'd love you better than Ryan did
if you'd just zip your Hindu lid.

TO KELLY FROM MICHAEL:

When you do your Bengal boogie,
I want to try your googie googie.

Feb 13th 2009

googie googie

So that's what that means. No wonder she slapped him.

May 13th 2009

Bob's got a thing for a rotund caboose.
But Phyllis will always be his first Mother Goose.

May 13th 2009

Niiice.

Jun 3rd 2011 edited

Okay, this has nothing to do with the thread really, except that this is a thread about poems and this is a poem I read yesterday in an old textbook here in my classroom. It's called "It's Raining In Love", and I thought it almost perfectly described my teenage years, and wondered if it didn't do the same for you.

It's Raining In Love by Richard Brautigan

I don't know what it is,
but I distrust myself
when I start to like a girl
a lot.

It makes me nervous
I don't say the right things
or perhaps I start
to examine,
evaluate,
compute
what I am saying.

If I say, "Do you think it's going to rain?"
and she says, "I don't know,"
I start thinking : Does she really like me?
In other words
I get a little creepy.

A friend of mine once said,
"It's twenty times better to be friends
with someone
than it is to be in love with them."

I think he's right and besides,
it's raining somewhere, programming flowers
and keeping snails happy.
That's all taken care of.

BUT

if a girl likes me a lot
and starts getting real nervous
and suddenly begins asking me funny questions
and looks sad if I give the wrong answers
and she says things like,
"Do you think it's going to rain?"
and I say, "It beats me,"
and she says, "Oh,"
and looks a little sad
at the clear blue California sky,
I think : Thank God, it's you, baby, this time
instead of me.

It's just...this was soooo me! And I suppose it's normal to think that I'm the only one who ever thought this way, so it's really neat to see something that so easily could have been written by me (if I could write poetry) because it's basically my thoughts written out.

I just associate so much with the thoughts and ideas expressed here. Even now, these many years after my tumultous teen years.

  1. <
  2. 1
  3. 2
  4. 3
  5. >
61 to 79 of 79
Top of PageBack to discussions