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Jul 20th 2009

What’s up, m’nerds? This is the penultimate week of the contest. Get Pointer Sisters excited! The prompt is derived both from the show and the forums. The topic is . . . moms. From Michael’s mom in Dixon City, to Pam’s mom (Mmmilf), to our three pregnant (and awesome) NAdies, everyone loves moms. Especially yours. Because she’s easy. Not on the eyes, but in the bedroom. With sex.

So your prompt this week is similarly easy. Let’s spend some time with an Office character’s mom. At the office. You pick the scenario. You pick the mom. It’s basically a Choose Your Own Adventure story, set at the Office, with moms. So, basically not anything like a Choose Your Own Adventure story, but you get the idea.

Thoughts and Parameters
300 Word Limit
A Mom.

Written, but otherwise, go nuts. With the moms.

Judging Criteria

  1. Overall impact
  2. True to characters
  3. Appropriate to challenge prompt
  4. Creativity


  • Deadline for submitting entry #8 is 10 pm EST on Sunday, July 26.
  • Voting for challenge #7 begins Monday, July 20.
  • This thread is for challenge topic and entries only; please go to the general contest thread for questions/discussion.
  • No editing allowed on entries once submitted. Double-check your entry in the general contest thread before posting it in this thread.
Jul 23rd 2009

Kelly: Creed! She’s in the men’s room again!

Creed TH: Whacha gonna do? She’s been kicked out of another retirement home. Can’t leave her alone. I try to be a stable influence, but the woman is out of control!

Kevin leads a tiny, frail Asian woman – Creed’s adoptive mother – out of the restroom.

Chun Ma: Oh, thank you. Ooh, such large hands for a woman!

Kevin gives the camera a confused look.

In the hallway Ma turns abruptly and shouts: Well, hello, and what’s your name?!
to a large potted ficus.

Kevin: Why don’t you have a seat here?

Kevin beats a hasty retreat. Ma sits briefly but immediately resumes wandering.

She enters Michael’s office, where he is experimenting with his hair part in the monitor reflection. Ma sits, takes off her shoes and rubs a foot.

Michael: Computer. Do you have them in your land?

Ma smiles and stares in response, finally breaking the silence with a loud belch.

Michael: Pam!...

Pam enters and asks if Ma might like to make some copies. They smell really good! she encourages. When Pam turns around after the first sample copy she is chest-to-face with the old woman.

Pam: Oh, sorry!

Ma: What lovely breasts you have. Round, firm, like nice ripe peaches. Are they real?

As Ma reaches up to feel the produce, Jim dashes over and redirects her.

Jim: Hey now, how about a nice snack? Leads the woman to the breakroom. My treat.

Ma: Ooh, jukebox!?

Jim: Nnno… vending… here... we’ve got Regular Sun Chips, French …

As Jim describes the entire contents of the vending machine, Chun Ma looks to camera with a wry smile.

Ma TH: Oh, I can see and hear better than you. What other fun is a woman my age gonna have?

Jul 24th 2009

A woman enters Dunder Mifflin, wearing a low cut blouse, and reeking of perfume.

Erin: Hi, welcome to Dunder Mifflin!

Nancy Flenderson: Hello, I’m Toby’s mom, Nancy

Erin: I’ll tell him you’re here.

Michael steps out of his office.

Michael: You’re Toby’s mom? Ugh. Spawner of Satan! Get out!

Nancy: Hi Michael! Wonderful to see you!

Toby walks up to reception.

Toby: Mom, what are you doing here?

Michael: Apparently, she has come to fight your battles for you, just like always, I’m sure.

Toby: Seriously, Mom, what are you doing here?

Nancy: Which one’s Jim?

Jim: Hi.

Nancy: Hmm…no wonder she likes you better. Jim, I was wondering if I could chat with you privately.

Toby: Mom, what? Why?

Nancy: Don’t worry, honey. This will only take a minute. Jim?

Jim: Oh, um, yeah. We can use the conference room.

Jim shoots Pam a look as he and Nancy enter the conference room and close the door.

Nancy: I was hoping you could help me out with Michael.

Jim: Look, I know that Michael and Toby don’t exactly get along, but…

Nancy: No, I know all of that, Jim. I don’t know what Toby’s problem is. I wanted to talk with you to see if Michael’s dating anyone right now.

Jim: Um, right now? I don’t think so. Why?

Nancy: I’d like to ask him out on a date.

Jim: A date? Are you sure Toby would be ok with that?

Nancy: I’ve dated a lot of men, Jim. A lot of men. And I’ve never had Toby’s approval before, so why should I need it now?

Jim: Then I wish you the best of luck with Michael.

Jim TH: silent shudder

Jul 25th 2009

8:30 am. People still trailing in for work. Michael is hiding—poorly—inside his doorway, giggling.

Phyllis arrives.

Michael: (in rhythm with Phyllis’ steps) BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

Phyllis glares and walks faster to her chair.

Michael: Whoa! Don’t break the floor, Brontophyllis Rex!

Michael and Dwight dissolve into laughter.

Pam TH: Last week, Phyllis’ chair broke. I suspect sabotage. For material. Literally.

Dwight TH: I needed new casters. I regret nothing.

Michael: (on phone) Yes. I was calling about strong, wide chairs. Like for a hippo.

Phyllis storms out of his office. Erin hangs up, confused.

A few days later.

Michael: A rhino is funny, but so is a gorilla. Which one is funnier?

Jim: I don’t--

Off-screen voice: Michael Gary Scott!

Michael: Oh. No.

It is Phyllis’ mom, who looks just like her daughter.

Michael: Hey . . . Mrs. Lapin. How are--

Mrs. Lapin: What have you been saying about my daughter, Mikey?

Michael: It’s all in fun.

Mrs. Lapin: That’s not what Bob told me. I had to stop him from beating you senseless.

Jim: (under his breath) Too late.

Mrs. Lapin: Mikey, after all we’ve been through, I can’t believe you would treat Phyllis like this.

Jim: Um, what?

Michael: Nothing. We lived down the road when I was a kid.

Mrs. Lapin: Well, I never! Your mother and I gave you so much. We even taught you how to kiss.

Kevin: Niice.

Michael: No, Kevin.

Jim: What? When was this?

Michael: A long time--

Mrs. Lapin: On his 19th birthday. He was so clueless. He didn’t even know about tongues.

Jim: Wow.

Mrs. Lapin: Michael, treat my daughter with respect. When you were younger, you had such a crush on her.

Michael, speechless, goes in his office.

Phyllis TH: Don’t mess with the Lapins.

Jul 26th 2009

By 10:37 AM Rachel Howard had completed the same amount of work it normally took her son an entire day to complete. The work had been easy; it had been more difficult explaining to Pam that Ryan was sick and she'd be filling in for him today.

While most moms would've balked at the suggestion, she had reason for accepting. The only thing keeping her from finishing graduate school was her unfinished doctoral dissertation, "Here and There and Everywhere: Jungian Archetypes in Disney's Adventures of the Gummi Bears."

Despite working on it intermittently over 16 years, she had never matched all the protagonists to people in a single natural setting. Undeterred, she took out a printout of List of Disney's Adventures of the Gummi Bears characters to try and match them here.

After watching the redhead across from her sneak drinks from a flask, Rachel checked off Grammi, the gummiberry juice maker. Before long she had checked off the stern but effective Gruffi for Dwight, the talented but moody Gusto for Andy, and the slow Tummi for Kevin. Over lunch in the break room, Jim told the story of him and Pam. Rachel mentally checked off the humans Cavin and Princess Calla.

In the woman's room, Rachel met Kelly. She seemed to know Ryan pretty well, although he'd never mentioned her. After returning to her desk, she checked off the immature Sunni. After thinking a moment she checked off the ambitious Cubbi for Ryan.

That left only Zummi, the fumbling magician prone to misspeaking. Rachel sighed as he was always the hardest to match. Just then Michael walked out of his office wearing a robe and wizard hat. Rachel checked off Zummi and, imitating Brandi Chastain, pulled off her shirt, dropped to her knees, and raised both arms in celebration.

Jul 26th 2009

(A short stout red-haired woman enters the office.)

Visitor (to Erin): Hello, I’m Ruth. I’m here to see my daughter.

Meredith (hollers from around the corner): I’m back here, Mom!

Ruth (smiles at Erin): Thank you, dear.

Meredith (TH): My mom’s staying with me all week, and she insisted on meeting my coworkers. I tried to discourage her, but she said she couldn’t stand watching another episode of Judge Judy.

(At Meredith’s desk)

Meredith (unenthusiastically): Everyone -- this is my mom. Mom -- everyone.

Ruth: It’s so delightful to meet you all!

Andy (bowing slightly): Madam, the delight is all ours. Andrew Bernard, at your service.

Ruth: Thank you, Andrew. Mer – where’s that boss I’ve heard so much about?

Michael (from behind): Flaming red hair, slight scent of alcohol – I know who this must be!

Ruth: Ahh, this man with the gift of gab must be Michael. You must smell my perfume, not alcohol. I never touch the stuff.

Michael (to camera): I guess the sour apple does fall far from the tree.

Ruth: I’ve heard a lot about you, Michael.

Michael: All good, I hope.

Ruth: Not the part about you hitting my daughter with your car.

Michael: I’m terribly sorry about that, but all has been forgiven. Right Meredith?

Meredith: Sure.

Ruth: Well, to quote the bible – “Turn the other cheek”.

Michael: As the bible also says, “We are family.”

(Everyone smiles merrily at each other.)

(End of the day, parking lot – Michael walking to his car, as viewed through someone’s windshield. Camera turns toward driver’s seat.)

(Ruth has a disturbed look in her eye as she stares intently at Michael and revs the engine.)

Ruth: Here’s another quote: “Revenge is a dish best served cold.” -- The Wrath of Khan. (shifts car into drive)

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