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[Closed] SUMMER 09 CONTEST WEEK 9: “IT’S GOING TO TAKE A LONG TIME . . . AND THEN IT’S PERFECT.”
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Jul 27th 2009 edited

Well, as Huey Lewis sort of said, accompanied by the News, this is it. The last week of what has to be in the top three of summer contests NA has done over the last three years. So this is the last prompt, inspired by last year’s last prompt. Kind of. Anyway, it’s quite simple.

Prompt

The writers laid on the plot thick this season, giving lots of options for next season. For example, will Ryan continue bleaching his hair? Will Charles Minor return? What the hell happened to Jan? Your prompt this week: tell us what happens next year. Be specific to a character, or a storyline. Or be general and nonspecific. Or fall somewhere in between. Tie up some loose ends. Or one loose end. If you would like to see what some folks did with last year’s prompt, check them out.

Parameters

Be creative.
250 words. (You heard me).
That’ll do it.

Format
Dealer’s choice. (You’re the dealer in this scenario).
If you choose to write, you’re constrained to the above limit.

Judging Criteria

  1. Overall impact
  2. True to characters
  3. Appropriate to challenge prompt
  4. Creativity

Reminders

  • Deadline for submitting entry #9 is 10 pm EST on Sunday, August 2nd.
  • Voting for challenge #8 begins Monday, August 3.
  • This thread is for challenge topic and entries only; please go to the general contest thread for questions/discussion.
  • No editing allowed on entries once submitted. Double-check your entry in the general contest thread before posting it in this thread.
  • Please review contest description for other details.
Jul 28th 2009

Dear Diary,

So, there I was today. Watching a giant excavator digging the basement for our house. And it just felt like the wrong “our” house. I thought how Michael would have gone along with my idea of a groundbreaking ceremony, and how he would have let me spray paint a shovel gold. And how he wouldn’t fight with me over the color of the roof.

AJ’s a good guy. He really is. But he’s not Michael, and I just feel stupid (STUPID!) for letting him go.

There’s a giant hole in the ground where my and AJ’s house was supposed to be built, but it pales in comparison to the hole in my heart without Michael in my life.

Oh, crap, I’m going to have to get out of building a house that I’ve already started paying for. Shoot!

I’m going to have to be tough, and here’s how: I’ll pack up all my stuff (I have to do this first so I don’t chicken out). Then I’ll tell AJ it’s over. Then I’m going to show up at Michael’s door, and hope to heck that he’ll let me in. Then, I’m going to find a job (easy, right?) and live happily ever after with Michael, because I can’t pretend anymore. And hopefully, Michael will understand that. I know he will, and things are going to be awesome from now on. It’s going to be great. As soon as I weasel my way out of that darn mortgage.

Jul 28th 2009

Café Disco Franchised

Ryan TH: “When I got demoted to temp I had a lot more time and a lot less money. Since going into business with Michael went so well the last time, I did it again. Billy took out a couple of walls, and Café Disco is a franchise. It’s like Starbucks, only smaller. With a dancing girl.”

Katy TH: “The career in purses was going no where, and I cheered in high school. Ryan remembered that, somehow. This is my stall.” Katy indicates what used to be the mop station in the closet that is now Café Disco. It is now enclosed in glass with a multicolored strobe light. “And this is the uniform Ryan picked out for me.” Katy holds up a tiny bikini. “My career is going really badly right now.”

Kevin TH: “Nice.”

Ryan TH: “Michael wanted to make sure we had the Awesome Blossom on the menu, but they are trademarked. So are the Blooming Onion and the Texas Rose. So allow me to introduce you to the Deep Fried Disco Onion.” Long pause. “Michael really isn’t good at naming things. He did let me decide everything else, though."

Roy comes to stand by Ryan. Both of them have evil grins on their faces.

Ryan TH: “If I could have convinced Karen to come work for me, I would have. Look alive Halpert. It is the year of Ryan, part two.”

Roy TH: “What he said.”

Kelly TH: “My man is in management again.”

Jul 31st 2009

Next season, Michael will promote some new causes.

In the fall, after being giggled at in a meeting for mangling yet another multi-syllable word, he peevishly promotes a new office policy:

ANTI-ANTIDISESTABLISHMENTARIANISM: SHORTER IS BETTER!

and snaps at everyone who punchlines the unintended joke.

Winter brings to Scranton snow and a variety of flu bugs, and upon observing the piles of wadded tissues headed to landfills in office wastebaskets , Michael comes up with an environmental brainstorm:

Michael TH: What if tissues were reusable? Made of something like, I don’t know… fabric! That you could wash! Dwight: go online. See if anyone has applied for a patent on this. This is… wow!

Dwight glances briefly to camera and follows his orders without comment.

In the Spring there is a moderate earthquake in California that interrupts the filming of several of Michael’s favorite tv shows. Horrified by the consequences of the event he begins a fundraising effort for his brainchild: Earthquake Prevention Now! He seeks support for the cause from his employees by staging a mock quake one morning which takes the entire office the remaining hours of the day to clean up.

Summer brings the heat and the extremely belated word to Michael that an idolized tv captain has not been steering his former ship for nearly a year. Noticing a relationship between a perceived decrease in quality and the captain’s departure, Michael passionately launches a one-man letter-writing campaign that is met with bewilderment by the recipients:

SAVING SILVERMAN!

Jul 31st 2009

IMDB Comment Board: The Office, 6.22, “The Raise”

Gareth>Dwight: WTFail? Pam gives birth off-screen while the whole ep is about Michael going to Corporate? Didn’t they do that in “The Job”? Who cares that Michael took Minor’s job? That can’t last, right? Michael out of the office and Andy as the new Regional Manager? This show sucks now.

MeLikeyPamsBoobs: Ur an idiot. Dwight and Kevin staged an arm wrestling tournament in the warehouse! Totally pwned.

IronicHipsterName: Michael going to Corporate is going to be good: him and David Wallace and Kendall is A-W-E-S-O-M-E. But are Pam and Jim just never getting married? The tag said they had the kid, and every episode has had something about Pam’s pregnancy. BTW Michael getting his face caught in the stirrups at the gyno’s office was major lolz.

Gareth>Dwight: Meh.

MeLikeyPamsBoobs: Jim and Pam got married, d-bag. Didn’t you see episode 10? The hour-long special? It followed the clip show they did. I can’t believe Ricky Gervais hosted that show.

Gareth>Dwight: He had that movie to promote. I can’t believe Jim and Pam let Michael officiate the wedding. So many swears.

MeLikeyPamsBoobs: I can’t believe they invited Roy. Pretty sweet when Dwight kicked him out of the reception.

Daoust: Do you guys know how lame you are, eh? You’re a bunch of hosers. This season had some funny stuff, but it’s just not the same, eh?

IronicHipsterName: Who r u? “The Office” is great, especially now that Mose is back.

Jul 31st 2009

The Office: 2010

Michael gets over Holly.
Jim & Pam finally remove the clown poster in their hall.
Dwight and Andy start playing in Kevin's new John Denver tribute band.
Angela goes out with a new nerd.
Creed falls in the quarry in November during his "32nd" birthday party.

Aug 2nd 2009

The elevator doors open. Pam, holding Vincent, and Jim walk out.

Jim: I don't know, he just said it was important. Maybe he perfected cold fusion.

Pam: Or maybe he has a new ringtone.

Jim opens the main office door. They take a few steps then stop when they see Dwight, wearing an orange prison jumpsuit, putting jumpsuits on everybody's desks. Jim and Pam look at each other.

Michael: Vincent! You're getting so big!

Pam: What is all this?

Michael: It's been 1 month since Ryan's probation was revoked, so we're all gonna go visit him at the prison today.

Jim: Why the jumpsuits?

Michael: To show our solidarity with Ryan. (Michael raises his fist.) Oh, and don't worry, I didn't forget about Vincent. (Michael walks to Pam's desk and picks up an infant sized orange jumpsuit along with a tiny bandana).

Pam: Ok. We'll see you at home. Be careful.

Jim: Alright, bye you two.

Andy: Later Little Tuna!


Later, at the prison.

Michael: Ryan!

Ryan: Holy [bleep].

Michael runs over and hugs Ryan.

Ryan just stands there for a moment, then turns around, walks to a guard, and leaves the visiting area.

Jim: Hey, guard! Don't forget this one. (Jim points to Dwight.)

Dwight: Haha, very funny, Jim.

A guard grabs Dwight's arm and leads him away.

Dwight: No, you don't understand. We're just visiting.

Dwight (TH): (Sporting a shaved head.) I do not want to talk about prison. (He gets up and walks to his desk.)

Aug 2nd 2009

Tune in this fall to NBC for an all new season of “The Office” with more laughs and surprises than ever before!

With the changes that are coming, the office will never be the same…

Kelly (TH): As the new head of the PPC, I promise that all office parties will be extra AWESOME! (singing) Iiiiiiii’m coming up, so you better get this party started! (raises the roof)

…What could possibly cause Oscar to say this?

Oscar (TH): I can’t believe Angela and I are chasing after the same man.

With new additions on the way…

(Pam and Jim walking into office together, Pam looking quite pregnant.)

Michael: Whoa, Pam -- you’re getting huge! I hope you enjoy those twins!

(Jim and Pam exchange confused looks.)

Michael: You hear me, Jimbo? Enjoy those twins now because once the baby comes, they will be out of your hands and into its mouth! (giggle)

… We say goodbye forever to one of these old friends…

(brief slow motion montage of Toby, Jan, Ryan, Hank, Meredith, and Packer each waving goodbye)

… And wedding bells are finally going to ring… for Kevin?

(Kevin wearing a powder blue tuxedo, Lynn in a white dress, standing before a justice of the peace, who is interrupted by a voice from the back of the room--)

Voice: Kevin, you can’t do this!

Kevin (turning with a shocked look): Stacy?

All this and more, this season on “The Office” -- only on NBC. (bing BONG bing)

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