Not signed in (Sign In)
Welcome to The Watercooler, the companion forum to Northern Attack and all things concerning The Office on NBC.

Guests are free to browse the forums, although you will need to register for an account if you wish to participate in the discussions or use any of the advanced features of the forum (bookmarks, history, etc).

If you already have an account, please sign in now.

The Watercooler is powered by Vanilla, the sweetest forum on the web.

Bottom of Page
"I'm just sad the public school system failed him so badly": The Gardening Thread
  1. <
  2. 1
  3. 2
  4. 3
  5. 4
  6. 5
  7. 6
  8. 7
  9. 8
  10. ...
  11. 34
  12. >
31 to 60 of 997
Sep 14th 2009

Is anyone truly "ready" for their first sexual encounter no matter what their maturity level? There is no real way to prepare for this and the emotional/psychological consequences are going to be profound regardless.

Sep 14th 2009 edited

For most guys, a willing partner is all that's required..

And a boner.

Sep 14th 2009

Is anyone truly "ready" for their first sexual encounter no matter what their maturity level? There is no real way to prepare for this and the emotional/psychological consequences are going to be profound regardless.

I'm with you on this. I just don't think there's any way to be 'ready'. There's no way of knowing how you're going to be affected by it emotionally and psychologically until you do it.

Sep 14th 2009 edited

Is anyone truly "ready" for their first sexual encounter no matter what their maturity level? There is no real way to prepare for this and the emotional/psychological consequences are going to be profound regardless.

Well, I do think, though I can't prove it, that the way I handled it much better and in a much better emotional/psychological state of preparedness at 23 then if I had attempted the same thing eight or ten years prior. Still, even then, because it was so new to me, and because I was really very much a virgin in almost every sense of the word, it was a very profound (and a bunch of other words that better express what I'm trying to say) experience that even then I recognized was not a trivial or meaningless act, and that it would have a lasting impact on me.

Sep 14th 2009

I'm not knocking those who choose to wait until marriage to try it out, but honestly, there were a couple of fellows that I dated that...well, if I had waited until marriage to find out what they wanted in the bedroom and what they were willing to give in the same space...it would not have been a recipe for a long-lasting full-filling relationship.

And I don't buy the argument that the giving and receiving in your sexual relationship shouldn't be one of the deciding factors on spending the rest of your life with someone. Forever is a long time. And I'd like to stay together faithfully if at all possible.

Sep 14th 2009 edited

And I don't buy the argument that the giving and receiving in your sexual relationship shouldn't be one of the deciding factors on spending the rest of your life with someone

Well, there is some merit to it, though, Anque. It's true that for both my wife and I, neither of us knew before we were married if we were 'sexually compatible', if I can use that term. We didn't know if either of us even liked sex before we were married. We assumed we did, but we didn't know. But waiting until we were married allowed us to get to know each other on all the other levels first, which I suppose I would argue are the more important levels than the sexual one, when it comes to a foundation for a lifelong relationship. Sex and sexual compability is really important in a relationship, or a marriage, I agree, but I don't think it's the most important thing. Therefore, I think that it can wait, if you want to.

There was a real chance that my wife and I may not have been sexually compatable in our marriage. And to be sure, we found out after we were married that we are indeed different sexual creatures, in terms of our wants and our needs when it comes to sex. In fact, I think we would safely say that our first few times were disastrous. I would even go so far as to say that for our first few years together, that part of our marriage life wasn't all that great. If we had had sex before we were married, subscribing to the "taking the car for a test drive" theory, there's a possibility that we might not have got married, because of our first few sexual encounters. But things changed. Things improved. We worked through difficulties. We learned patience and understanding and forgiveness and compassion with and through each other. So yeah, things maybe didn't start out like it does in the movies, but it is better now, and I am glad that, in our case, we didn't jump the gun and make decisions based on too little evidence and information that maybe might have caused us to not end up where we currently are.

Sep 14th 2009

I see what you mean. I agree that it's certainly not the most important element in any marriage. And regardless of how bumpy the sex may have been those first few years, it sounds to me like you got really lucky in your choice of partners in many ways. It's natural for sex to be bumpy and uncomfortable at first with any new partner regardless of experience, because it's two people trying to work their way through the trust and intimacy required to share that kind of thing fully. I know it probably sounded crass of me up there, but I wasn't meaning to insinuate that a guy had to know how to do it "right" and have 'movie sex' the first time or he was out.

This is going to be over-sharing, but I did date a gentleman who was strong and confident and self-assured and mature in his daily persona, who really wanted to play a heavily submissive role in the bedroom. Heavily. To the point that he talked like a baby sometimes and I tried, for him, to play the role that he wanted, but I just couldn't be that for him. And it's not something that showed through in any of his other interactions with his family or friends or coworkers. It was something I wasn't going to find out until we became intimate and I'm so very glad it was before we made a lifetime commitment to one another.

Sep 14th 2009

There's no way of knowing how you're going to be affected by it emotionally and psychologically until you do it.

You said "do it".

Sep 14th 2009

I know it probably sounded crass of me up there, but I wasn't meaning to insinuate that a guy had to know how to do it "right" and have 'movie sex' the first time or he was out.

Not at all, Anque. I was merely providing a counterpoint. By the way, buddy, can I just tell you I appreciate your thoughtful and well crafted posts in this thread, and for not making me think I was stupid to start this whole thing up in the first place? Do you think others will join in to what has, up till now, mostly been 'our' conversation, or will it continue to be mostly us pouring our hearts out between posts by Toosie and Brian?

Sep 14th 2009

It's like my childish posts don't even exist.

Sep 14th 2009

And regardless of how bumpy the sex may have been those first few years

Maybe you just needed a new mattress.

Sep 14th 2009 edited

By the way, buddy, can I just tell you I appreciate your thoughtful and well crafted posts in this thread, and for not making me think I was stupid to start this whole thing up in the first place?

Anytime. I clearly love reading myself speak. And the subject of sex has always been fascinating for me in so many more ways than just the sex. So thanks to you, buddy, for having the (cough) balls to start the thread.

Do you think others will join in to what has, up till now, mostly been 'our' conversation, or will it continue to be mostly us pouring our hearts out between posts by Toosie and Brian?

I don't know. One of the reasons why sex and sexuality fascinates me so much is because there is so much repression in regards to people talking about it honestly while at the same time it is subliminally shoved into the faces of every man, woman and child from the get-go. You can't blame people for not feeling comfortable talking about it. And I think Toos and Brian and Jinx are just giving it the flavor that will make it socially acceptable to admit that you have clicked on this thread.

In other words, come on out chickens! We don't bite! (Or maybe we do. But you'll never know until you ask us!)

Sep 14th 2009

Sex leads to babies. That's been my recent experience, anyway.

Sep 14th 2009

Yay! BTF!! I think you could offer us an interesting introspective piece on how perfectly healthy it is to fantasize about men other than one's own husband. Did I say fantasize? I meant have another more famous totally adorable dude's baby. Totally healthy. Did I mention he's hot?

Sep 14th 2009

Introspective, no. But I will say that just because you're on a diet, doesn't mean you can't look at the menu. Or fantasize about what's on the menu.

Sep 14th 2009

I've never been one to care about where my partner gets a stimulus to their appetite, as long as they come home for dinner.. if ya know what I'm sayin'..

Sep 14th 2009

I know what you're saying. You're all saying you're physically attracted to food. And not just sexy food either.

Sep 14th 2009

gb, bringing the clarity.

Sep 14th 2009 edited

Ok. I'll seriously share what I've learned from my personal experience.













Sep 14th 2009

I've never been one to care about where my partner gets a stimulus to their appetite, as long as they come home for dinner.. if ya know what I'm sayin'..

What are you sayin'?

Jinx said:

It's like my childish posts don't even exist.

I'm right here! I can't click on the SEX ED thread while I'm at school, much less respond. But I'm home now and I'm cracking up.

Sep 14th 2009

Didn't mean to be a downer. Keep talkin' about sex, pervs.

Sep 14th 2009

And I think Toos and Brian and Jinx are just giving it the flavor that will make it socially acceptable to admit that you have clicked on this thread.

You're giving me way too much credit.

Sep 14th 2009

One thing about sex, that I know for sure: It has kept me in relationships that should have ended long before they did.

Sep 14th 2009

It has kept me in relationships that should have ended long before they did.

Now THAT is one I can identify with.

Sep 14th 2009

Dear friends

I am just curious about peoples opinions of birth control in married sex. As a Christian I don't believe in it but I am curious what you all think.

Boyhangover

Sep 14th 2009

Dear Boyhangover,

I am a Christian, and I sure believe in it. I believe it has kept us from having seven or eight kids, which I'm glad for. I know there are moral issues for many Bible believing Christians who feel that it is wrong to use bc, but I don't necessarily agree with the reasoning behind that. It's impossible to lay a hard and fast rule down about that, and I think to do that is to cause division where it doesn't have to be. For now, I'm only too happy to use birth control, until sometime in the near future when I will likely be going in for the old snip-snip. If God has issues with us making that decision, He will make it known to us, in some form or another, I believe.

Sep 14th 2009

I'm still waiting to hear what the reasoning behind the Catholic Church's ban on contraception is because what I've heard so far makes no sense.

Sep 14th 2009

I read the Humane Vitae and I still don't really understand it. Anyway, I didn't when I read it. Now I don't really remember it.

Being of the Youish faith, I think that You should do whatever the heck You want.

Sep 14th 2009

I think the pill was the single greatest invention of the 20th century. Discuss.

Sep 14th 2009

It certainly changed American society in a pretty profound way.

  1. <
  2. 1
  3. 2
  4. 3
  5. 4
  6. 5
  7. 6
  8. 7
  9. 8
  10. ...
  11. 34
  12. >
31 to 60 of 997
Top of PageBack to discussions