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2010 Challenge 2 - The Office Off Track.
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Jul 19th 2010 edited

This prompt is from Bri:

Prompt: There's a widely held view that at some point along the way, The Office went off track. Maybe you don't like it anymore. Maybe you like it, but you no longer love it. Maybe you still love it, but it's just not the same. Whatever your feeling is, pinpoint that moment when, for you, things went wrong. It can be when they started to feel off, or it can be when things went irreversibly off the rails. Define that moment how you will. The object here is for you to set things straight. In words -- or verse, video, audio screenplay or whatever medium you choose -- present for us the way things ought to have gone. For example, the moment might have been when Jim walked out of the parking lot as that single tear rolled down his cheek. Maybe you think Pam should have gone after him right then and there. If so, tell/show/illustrate for us how that would/should have played out. (For the record, that's a terrible example. But it's an example.)

Parameters: If using words, keep it reasonable, say under 400 words. Unless you need more. If using video, avoid distracting special effects or gimmicks like 3D. If using verse, crib liberally from Shakespeare and public men's room walls.

Thanks, Bri!

Jul 23rd 2010

Beach Games, Redux

Pam: Michael? David Wallace is on line one.

Michael: To what do I owe this great pleasure, David Wallace?

David: Michael, I’m...

Michael: And Gromit.

David: ..calling because we had to let Jan go, and I was wondering if you’d be interested in her position.

Michael: I’m interested in a lot of her positions. Was interested. We’re not together anymore.

David: I mean her position at Dunder Mifflin, Michael. I’m setting up interviews for next week.

Michael: Sorry. You know how it is. Men are always thinking about sex, right? Jan’s leaving? Um, I don’t think I can interview for my ex-lover’s job. You know who would be great at Jan’s job? Karen Filipelli. I’ll ask her.

David: No, Michael. I’d rather…

Michael: Karen, get in here please!

David: ..talk to the prospective candidates myself.

Karen: Yeah, Michael?

Michael: Hey, Karen. David Wallace is on the line with some exciting news for you!

David: Hi, Karen. Actually, it’s not so much news as a question. Michael said you’d be a good fit for a position we have open at corporate, and I was hoping you’d be available one day next week to come to New York and interview.

Later that night at the beach coal walk (which no one has the guts to do, not even Dwight because that was just gross.)

Karen: Hey, I want to say something. I’ve been trying to be more honest lately, and I just need to say a few things. I’m leaving Scranton. I’m going to interview for Jan’s old job at corporate, but even if I don’t get it, I’m still going to move to New York. Scranton sucks. Jim, why did you let me move here? You were obviously still in love with Pam. And now you guys aren’t even friends, and things are just like weird between you two. And me. But now she’s not with Roy, and I’m moving to the city. The thing that I’m trying to say to you, Jim…and to everyone else in the circle, I guess, is that I’m breaking up with you. Just you. Not everyone in the circle. Except that I kinda am.

Later, on the bus home, Jim and Pam are sitting by each other. Karen is sitting in the back of the bus, rolling her eyes.

Everyone (singing): Ding Dong, the witch is dead. Which old witch? The wicked witch…

Jul 25th 2010

I couldn't pick just one.

"So, you're really going to marry him?"

Pam nods slightly.

"Ok"

"Ok? That's it?! I just admitted I've wanted to kiss you for a long time and you take my half-assed answer as gospel? Way to man up Halpert. Why don't you go string some girl along for six months and then get back to me. Pansy."


To: jhalpert@dundermifflin.com
From: pbeesly@dundermifflin.com
Date: 08:32 July 6, 2006

Dear Jim,
By now you've probably heard from Kevin or Phyllis that I called off the wedding. I know I should have contacted you earlier, but things have been pretty crazy for the past few weeks. Who knew it would be this hard to break off a ten year relationship with the person you live with just days before your wedding? Between moving out and dealing with all the wedding plans I haven't had a lot of free time to think about how I should tell you. I realize e-mail may be a little impersonal, but hey, it's better than arbitrarily deciding to never contact you right? I mean, what kind of emotional dwarf would do something like that? Anyway, if you still want to plow me write back because I think that could be fun.
Your friend,
Pam


Pam: Um. Ok, bye.
Jim: Oh, yeah, I should, I should, I should probably go too.
Pam: No, I was talking to Ryan. He and Dwight went on a sales call together and he just walked back looking like he was attacked by those cross-dressers from Road Warrior. He did survive so I don't owe you any money for that old bet.
Jim: So, you're not just randomly cutting the conversation short just as we get to the part where I ask you why you're living by yourself?
Pam: Don't be ridiculous. I was just about to invite you down to see my new place so we could bone.


Jim: Hey, um, I think I am gonna take that job. But Scranton?... It's a shithole and I have enough emotional baggage to sink an aircraft carrier. So, if they offer you a job there, I think you should turn it down.
Karen: Okay, yeah. Maybe I will.
Jim: Okay.


"Do you still have feelings for her?"
"Yes."
"So, let me get this straight. You left Scranton after confessing your feelings for Pam who was engaged at the time. She subsequently calls off her wedding, but because she never called you assumed she wasn't interested. Then when you find out they are transferring you back you latch onto to me like a lamprey eel all the while neglecting to tell me about the situation. When I manage to find out through Phyllis you still play down what happened, but know you still have feelings for her. Later douchebag. I've got better things to do with my life than waste my time trying to drag you through a relationship you couldn't care less about. Try not to be a twelve year old all your life."

Jul 25th 2010

Phone ringing in the Office production room.

Greg Daniels: Hello?

Ben Silverman: G-Dog, it's the SilverMan!

Greg: Oh, hey, Ben.

Ben: Wassup, dog?!? Sorry you couldn't come to my party last night. It was the hizzy!

Greg: Huh?

Ben: Listen, Danny boy, let me cut to the chase. Are you sitting down? Do you have a boner? If not, get ready, because I'm about to bonerfy your world!

Greg: Huh?

Ben: I know you think Season 3 had the perfect ending, but I've gone ahead and renewed the O-dizzle for 5 more seasons! The Cristal's on its way, muthafucka! Boo-ya!

Greg: Ok, great. Hey, have you read the new script for Parks and Recreation?

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