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The Great Five Year Canadian Roast 2011- Boom!
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Oct 17th 2011

Folks, tomorrow, October 18, 2011 will mark the beginning of my 6th year here as a member at Northern Attack. I can't believe it's been that long. You may commence celebrating, and the roasting and ketchup fights in my honour. Thanks for 5 great years, folks!

Be careful what you ask for.

I hereby suggest that tomorrow, October 18th, be proclaimed "Roast Daoust Day." Please commence:
the Cavill..um..I mean gavel..squeaks loudly as I bang it

Oct 17th 2011

Shouldn't that be Raoust Daoust?

Oct 17th 2011

Daoust is so Canadian, he's Canadian!

(Okay, my material needs a bit of work...)

Oct 17th 2011

Why did Daoust cross the road?

Because he saw an American do it on TV!

Daoust owes more on his snowblower than he does on his car.

Oct 17th 2011

Daoust once mistook a penguin for former Canadian PM Pierre Trudeau. The reason? Because the penguin was unfailingly polite.

(no, still not going for the jugular. Gotta take a while and work on it)

Oct 18th 2011

Just like my idol Pamela Anderson when she was roasted on Comedy Central, I will graciously endure all the cutting, hurtful jokes about my sexual history and country of origin, in the hopes that there is a last five minutes or so of this where people actually say nice things about me and Canada.

Oct 18th 2011

Dream on, Canuck.

Oct 18th 2011

hurtful jokes about my sexual history

Don't worry, this can't possibly last very long. At least that's what Bri's mom said.

Oct 18th 2011

and country of origin

I thought Canada was a state?

Oct 18th 2011

I thought Canada was a state?

I thought it was an estate of some archaic monarchy.

Oct 18th 2011

Well, their money is the same size as ours...and they are really fat and ugly people, which leads me to believe that they are one of the states of America. However, they speak funny and worship the queen, which tells me perhaps they are a colony of England.

Oct 18th 2011 edited

They must be some kind of half-sy.

Oct 18th 2011

Canada's half a state? So like North Carolina?

Oct 18th 2011

Wait, what?

Oct 18th 2011

Maybe they're transengendered - they were born that way.

Oct 18th 2011

I think you mean like South Dakota.

Oct 18th 2011 edited

Wait, what?

You live in half of the state of Carolina. The North half.

Oct 18th 2011

Ahem!

Oct 18th 2011

hands Daoust a glass of good, clean American water

Oct 18th 2011

Is this because we share a football team?

Oct 18th 2011

You live in half of the state of Carolina. The North half.

You're thinking of Korea.

Oct 18th 2011

Toosie was in 'Nam? No wonder she's so hardcore.

Oct 18th 2011

Was she in the POW camp with McCain?

Oct 18th 2011

I think she was a guard.

Oct 18th 2011

I think she was a guard.

Or a tight end.

Oct 18th 2011

Or a tight end.

I've never seen her from behind, but maybe.

Oct 18th 2011

Canada is to the United States what Woodstock is to Snoopy (ultimate zing!)

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