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2.01 The Dundies
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Jul 7th 2008

I'm scared for my boss to read today's quote.

And Michael is right. It's uncomfortable to tuck. So I imagine it must also be uncomfortable to be a woman.

I'm on the edge of my seat. Please continue.

Jul 7th 2008 edited

It's the quote from the deleted scene from Women's Appreciation, I think, where Michael is talking about how he tries to imagine being a woman by standing in front of a mirror and tucking his stuff between his legs to see what it's like.

Jul 7th 2008

Today's Quote:

Sometimes, I try to imagine what it's like to be a woman. I have a full length mirror in my bathroom, and before I get dressed, I'll "tuck" myself between the legs, just to see. And it's uncomfortable.

I can imagine that some bosses or co-workers could read that on your desk and just think you're weird. It does sound weird without context, or understanding the show.

Jul 7th 2008

It's easy for men to pretend that they are the opposite sex. For women, it's more difficult. They have to have a full length mirror and a hot dog. Or a zuchinni squash, depending on who you're trying to emulate.

Jul 7th 2008

Or a zuchinni squash, depending on who you're trying to emulate.

Self-delusion is fun! Isn't it, Jinx! :-)

Jul 7th 2008

It's the quote from the deleted scene from Women's Appreciation, I think, where Michael is talking about how he tries to imagine being a woman by standing in front of a mirror and tucking his stuff between his legs to see what it's like.

What's even funnier about that is Michael felt comfortable revealing that to the camera crew and the future audience.

It's easy for men to pretend that they are the opposite sex.

Jinx, is there something you want to talk about?

Jul 7th 2008

Jinx, is there something you want to talk about?

I saw a comedy show once where the comedian made every male member of the audience look into the eyes of the woman he was there with. Then he addressed the ladies and told them that at some point in his life, the guy she was looking at had tried to tuck to see what it looked like. Every guy laughed because it was true.

However, I've never tried on Phyliss's pants, or any other form of lady clothes.

Jul 7th 2008

Then he addressed the ladies and told them that at some point in his life, the guy she was looking at had tried to tuck to see what it looked like. Every guy laughed because it was true.

I did not know this. It would be the opposite then of penis envy.

Jul 7th 2008

However, I've never tried on Phyliss's pants, or any other form of lady clothes.

Jinx, even if you wore bisexual suits, we would still love you around here.

Jul 7th 2008

Are you wearing lady clothes?

Jul 7th 2008

However, I've never tried on Phyliss's pants, or any other form of lady clothes.

Jinx, even if you wore bisexual suits, we would still love you around here.

Sadly, this is true. We would. But not if you wore other people's skins like the dude in Texas Chainsaw Massacre. That's over the line.

Jul 7th 2008

However, I've never tried on Phyliss's pants, or any other form of lady clothes.

You'd better check the label. I don't see any pockets on those pants.

Jul 7th 2008

Sometimes, I try to imagine what it's like to be a woman. I have a full length mirror in my bathroom, and before I get dressed, I'll "tuck" myself between the legs, just to see. And it's uncomfortable.

Yeah, I've seen someone do that...it looked uncomfortable. Almost as uncomfortable as it is to actually not have a penis at all.

Jul 7th 2008

I'll "tuck" myself between the legs, just to see. And it's uncomfortable.

Yeah, I've seen someone do that...it looked uncomfortable.

The worst part is when you don't tuck it all the way properly and you get a pop-out. That's no fun for anyone.

Oh geez, I hope I didn't type that out loud...

Jul 7th 2008

Too late MB, I heard it. And now I'm laughing.

Jul 7th 2008 edited

I don't know what scares me more. The fact that MB just admitted what he's admitted, or the fact that e-star actually saw a guy do the "Lady-Tuck".

That's an activity we usually do alone!

ETA:

Almost as uncomfortable as it is to actually not have a penis at all.

You'll find, e-star, that most guys are very comfortable with a lady's lack of penis.

Jul 7th 2008 edited

I admit nothing. I'm just sayin', that's all.

That's an activity we usually do alone!

Need I say anything?

Jul 7th 2008

Almost as uncomfortable as it is to actually not have a penis at all.

I'm not at all sure what this means.

Jul 7th 2008

So, are you saying that you are comfortable, Madge? Please discuss. Feel free to use diagrams.

Jul 7th 2008

I think we may be shedding too much light on the penises, people.

Jul 7th 2008

I'll remove the bananas from the kitchen.

Jul 7th 2008

Thank you Phallus.....I mean griefbone....

Jul 7th 2008

I love you guys.

I'm finding out a lot of interesting things about my fellow NAers that might even qualify as TMI. But I'll let you know. Please continue.

Jul 7th 2008 edited

The secret to successful tucking is to push the testes back into the abdomen.

Edited to say that it's probably not safe for work. There are line drawings.

Jul 7th 2008

That is what I call the opposite of successful. Now I'm going to go throw up.

Jul 7th 2008

Step 3.

Push your testicles up into your lower abdomen. Be careful not to harm yourself. You might get the sensation as if someone kicked you in the groin. Although you shouldn't feel any pain.

This is my favorite part. (emphasis mine) This whole thing sounds a little labor intensive to me. If I had a penis I wanted to hide, I'd probably stick to the duct tape. (no pun intended.) Which would work better if one wasn't able to braid his pubic hair, as per a different but strangely related discussion.

Jul 7th 2008

The secret to successful tucking

Now that we know this is a common occurrence, that should be useful to all the men here. Maybe we could make that a contest prompt too.

Jul 7th 2008

Push your testicles up into your lower abdomen. Be careful not to harm yourself. You might get the sensation as if someone kicked you in the groin.

This is my favorite part.

Only a woman could say that.

Jul 7th 2008

Or a grrrl.

Jul 7th 2008

NO! It's only because it's so contradictory, not that I want him or any of you guys to feel pain!

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